Every now and then, I’ll read about someone’s odd behavior, and it will just cause me to raise my eyebrows and leave them there for a few hours while I try to convince myself again that human beings really are inherently decent. This… is one of those stories.

Eric Klope, Casey Shumate, and Joe Razzano, reserves on the Kentucky Wildcats football team, were doing what all good student athletes do… and hanging out buck naked on their front porch. Nothing at all homoerotic about that.

Anyway, a couple of kids come riding by on their bikes, one 10 years old, and one 12. Klope and Shumate yell at them, while standing there, wangs dangling, mind you… “We are big fags … come up here so we can have a big orgy.”

Now there’s a good idea. Show the meat to a 10-year-old riding his bike, tell him you’re a “fag” and then proposition him. I just can’t imagine what would ever go wrong with that… How could that NOT turn out well?

The kids went home and told their parents, who called the cops, and the three proud Wildcats have been charged with indecent exposure. One has left the team, the other two will keep playing.

GO CATS GO!

Michael Jordan’s been working out with NBA players in Chicago, and reportedly “holding his own.” And this article at FoxSports.com, and Lang Whitaker at SLAMonline.com both report that Michael could be planning a return to the NBA… where he’d play for the Miami Heat. I give this rumor like a 3% chance of actually having some truth to it, but hey… stranger things have happened, and no one in history has had a stronger competitive desire than MJ, and those things just don’t go away because you want them to. I just hope it doesn’t happen, I hope the rumor is killed tomorrow, and MJ stays away. At a certain point, he comes a sideshow. An indordinate amount of attention is given to a guy who won’t be better than the 3rd-best player on his team, and simply can’t do anything to enhance his legacy. I don’t need to see it.

The fine folks at CBS are working on putting together a sitcom based around the life of Bob Knight. I can’t wait. Talk about one of the all-time comedy geniuses of all-time… Bob Knight was born to make us laugh. I think Bob Knight, and I think unbridled joy. I can’t wait to see the episode where he threatens someone with a bullwhip. Or the one where delivers this classic Bob Knight speech (highly recommended). Or the one where he throws a vase at an elderly secretary. Or the one where he accidentally shoots his pal in the woods. Or the very special episode when some crazy bastard has the audacity to say, “Hey Knight!” This should be hilarious. What two things could possibly go together better than Bob Knight and situation comedies. I can’t wait for the Saturday morning cartoon based on the life of Marge Schott.

Stewart Mandel does some research on the most consistently overrated and underrated teams in college football over the past 10 years. It may not shock you to learn that Notre Dame is one of the most consistently overrated teams… I wonder how that happened. His research also just happens to prove that the “west coast bias” is a myth.

He also gets into USC’s not-to-stellar performance this past weekend, and the possibility of Xavier Betta having to kick another potential game-winning field goal against Miami. I think it would be cruel to even ask him to… I’d forfeit the game before even putting him in that position again.

T’Wolves rookie Rick Rickert put a move on Kevin Garnett at an informal practice the other day, and scored on KG. According to Charley Walters of the St. Paul Pioneer Press, Garnett then punched him in the face.

I think those are outstanding leadership skills for the MVP to be displaying. That will really encourage the rookies on the team. You always want to send a message to the rookies that says, “If you try to get better, and you make some progress, and you score on me, I will beat the hell out of you.” Positive reinforcement at its best.

Rickert suffered a chipped tooth and needed seven stitches.

Barbara Bush: “[Jenna and Barbara] were a huge hit in Greece. George and I were a little concerned. The entire American wrestling team wanted to date them.” Um… I don’t think “date” is the word you’re looking for, there, Barbara. I don’t think any of the wrestlers were looking at the Bush twins and thinking, “I’d love to buy them some flowers and introduce them to mom.” Instead of “date,” “pound,” “drill,” “nail,” “tag-team,” and “gangbang” all seem like more appropriate choices.

Matt Hayes of the Sporting News sees Virginia Tech as a program firmly entrenched in decline. I tend to agree, but to me, the biggest reason is one that Hayes doesn’t even mention: glitter on their helmets. That’s right. Virginia Tech has glittery helmets. Intimidating. Anyway, Hayes says Pitt and WVU passed them in the Big East, they ran off to the ACC, and now, the future is just not all that bright. The ACC is a bigger pond with bigger fish, and the program that Frank Beamer built might not be able to hack it anymore. I can’t envision Tech winning a conference championship or playing in a big-time bowl anytime soon. With that, recruiting takes a hit. With that, everything goes down hill. But other than that, I’m sure the ACC will be a lot of fun for them.

Tremendous. Now I have to boycott milk. Archie, Peyton, and Eli have signed up to do a “got milk?” ad. This is right up Eli’s alley, as he’s no stranger to having creamy white substances smeared across his upper lip. For those of you looking for something new to put on your dartboard, it’ll be available on September 10th in USA Today.

I think I just became lactose-intolerant. I’m never drinking milk again. I will develop osteoporosis and live like Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable before I ever buy an Eli-endorsed product. This is great. I can’t wait until next season when Al Davis sponsors air.

I’m sure you’ve seen or heard about this crazy bastard by now. The crazy ex-priest with an apparent leprechaun fetish jumped on the track towards the end of the marathong and tackled the leader, eventually causing him the lose the race and finish third. Like so many young boys across the world, Vanderlei de Lima was screwed by a priest. He now wants a duplicate gold.

He’s got a legitimate beef, but he’s not going to get his gold. I think it’s the right decision. It’s a tough break, and it’s terribly unfair, but you can’t give him a gold if you can’t say with 100% certainty that he would’ve won anyway. He might not have. The good news for him is that the can go to sleep at night with a bronze medal and the knowledge that he was the fastest marathoner in the world at the 2004 Olympics. He just can’t have a gold medal. I think Paul Hamm should give him his.

They extinguished the giant joint last night, officially ending the Olympics… which is sad, since there are really no other sports going on right now. So let’s drag out the Olympic discussion, shall we? I’d like to hear from the rest of the gang here about their single favorite moment from the Olympics. I’ve got a few nominees.

- The unfortunate shoulder/arm hair of Spanish basketballer Roberto Duenas. Remember the Throwin’ Bows All-Ugly Edition? Scrap it, because it’s incomplete. This cat makes Tyrone Hill look like Taye Diggs. He doesn’t have body hair, he’s got fur. Thank goodness Spain didn’t medal… a medal may have actually gotten lost in his chest hair.

- I’m sure I’m the only one who remembers it, but the U.S. Synchronized Swimming team did this thing where they were all upside down, and it looked like someone was twisting them into the water with a screwdriver. It was done perfectly, and it just looked awesome. Yes, I watched synchronized swimming… and you can blow me.

- Rulon Gardner taking off the shoes. Just a great great moment. Rulon has always seemed like such a good guy, such a genuine guy, who dedicated his life to becoming great at something, and left his mark on it. His tears are one of the things that’ll stick in my mind from these games.

- The U.S. 4×400 relay team winning by like 12 minutes.

- Greek gymnastics fans going nuts when the Russian guy got flipped over and hammered dry by the judges. Man, the Greeks, when actually there watching, can get fired up about some gymnastics. No group of people have been that united by rage at a sporting event since the Eagles passed on Ricky Williams (and hey, good call, Eagles fans). And it was completely justified… the judges during that high-bar event had clearly been hitting the Ouzo pretty hard. I had 0 rooting interest in that particular event, since I want to push Paul Hamm down a flight of steps, and I was a little fired up, too. Ups to the Greek gymnastics fans.

- Dominican Felix Sanchez winning the 400m hurdles and immediately being nicknamed Felix “Dirty” Sanchez. By me.

And my personal favorite…

- Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain, Julie Fowdy, Kristine Lilly, and Joy Fawcett winning the gold. The Fab 5, or, as I like to call them, the only reasons I ever watched soccer, came together and laid a beatdown on the world one last time. Their rendition of the national anthem as they stood on the medal podium kinda typified this team for me… they truly liked each other, truly liked being together, and just seemed like a fun, goofy, group of people, who, for a while, couldn’t be beat. They did more for women’s soccer than anyone ever has, and every female soccer player in the world should go ahead and send them a thank-you card. They deserved to go out on top.

Anyone else?