Sports Illustrated on Campus asked Wali Lundy what he listens to before games to get him going… and Wali does it right. He goes from Notorious B.I.G. to Michael Jackson’s Thriller to Kanye West to the Star Wars soundtrack. That’s impressive range.

So it got me to thinking… if I was a world-class athlete, what would I listen to before games to get me going? I wanna know what you’d listen to, as well. The first one that comes to mind is “Fuck You” by 50 Cent. The lyrics are pretty straightforward… “Fuck you. I don’t give a fuck who you are.” And that’s how I’d wanna roll… especially if I was an underdog. As more songs occur to me, I’ll put ‘em on the message board. What about you?

In what will come as a shock to no one, Bill Parcells says there have been a few players throughout this career who have thrown punches at him, though he declined to say who.

What I’m wondering is, who took a swing at Bill Parcells… and missed? I mean, I’ve never seen the guy with a black eye or a busted up face. And I’m kinda doubting that any angry players started working the body. It’s not like Bill Parcells would be all that difficult of a target to hit. He’s a big man, he can’t be very fast. I don’t know… maybe behind closed doors, Bill Parcells is some bad motherfucker. Maybe he’s got a black belt or something.

Anyway, Parcells says it’s really no big deal, and that he likes confrontation… because it “clears the air very quickly.” He’s got a point, and I think “touch” coaching is sometimes necessary and can be very effective, but driving someone, in fact, more than one person, to the point that they want to punch you… that can’t be good. You can be tough, and also make your players feel like you care about them. If that was happening, I doubt anyone would be swinging at him.

Weird: Someone shot a bullet at the Cleveland Indians bus, and it came through and hit rookie pitcher Kyle Denney in the calf. Weirder: He was wearing a cheerleading outfit at the time.

That’s gotta be fun to explain to doctors. I dunno… if I’m working in the emergency room, and a dude in go-go boots and a skirt comes in with a bullet wound, I’m going to assume it was a hate crime.

Apparently, this is the time of year when veterans on the teams put rookies through some hazing rituals, and… well, veteran baseball players have some odd tendencies.

The boots, according to doctors, kept the bullet from going very deep and causing serious injury. So Denney’s fine, and will be available to resume his role as team transvestite on the next road trip.

Honestly, I care about Washington getting baseball as much as I would about Paris Hilton getting crabs. With both, it was just a matter of time, and neither interests me all that much.

Anyway, DC sports fans get another team to gush over, to call the greatest of all-time when they win a few games, and to whine incessantly about when they lose a few. As a sports fan, I really can’t get enough of that. DC sports fan is kinda like Philly sports fan or Oakland sports fan, but without even bothering to pretend that they’re tough.

The debate now turns to what to call the team, and it looks like Senators is the early favorite. Mike Wilbon writes a column today suggesting that they be called the Grays, after the Negro League franchise that played in Washington.

I doubt it’ll happen. A poll conducted on the very webpage where the Wilbon article appears shows Senators with a 46% to 17% lead over Grays. And really, since when has anyone in Washington ever shown an inclination to do something considerate of black people? But on the other hand, naming a sports team after a Negro League franchise is just the kind of meaningless gesture a politician would throw out there just so he can say, “Hey, I like black people… Really, I swear.” So this one’s hard to call. I do know that I would definitely bet against the team being called the Washington Osamas. Senators seems more likely.

If you’ve got a few bucks laying around, do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of Talib Kweli’s newest, The Beautiful Struggle. Damn, is it tight.

The production, from top to bottom, is incredible. Hi-Tek, Kanye West, Neptunes… some great work in there. And it goes without saying that Talib is the man. No one brings it quite like he does. I feel pretty confident in saying that it’s the best hip-hop album that will come out this year.

And it’s been rare in my life that an artist I really like seems to want to put out albums frequently. Reflection Eternal, Quality, and The Beautiful Struggle all came out within a relatively short time period. I doubt many artists put out albums that quickly, and even fewer actually maintain a high-level of consistency through them.

And you know what else… don’t pirate it. Go buy it. Kweli is not Jay-Z or 50 Cent. He’s a guy who actually put a lot of hard work, thought, and effort into something. And it’s good… Good music, from well-intentioned artists, you should pay for. Believe me, I don’t care if you illegally download every Matchbox 20 album out there, make copies, and distribute it to all the neighborhood children. But when a good artist makes a quality product, and does so because it comes from the heart, it’s worth paying for.

It’s not really news that Shaq and Kobe don’t get along, but DAMN. Kobe just threw Shaq under a bus, and then backed over him a few times.

Kobe reportedly told investigators that he should have done what Shaq does, and throw some paper at his sexual conquests to keep them quiet.

“Bryant made a comment to us about what another teammate does in situations like these,” wrote Det. Doug Winters. “Bryant stated he should have done what Shaq (Shaquille O’Neal) does. Bryant stated that Shaq would pay his women not to say anything. He stated Shaq has paid up to a million dollars already for situations like this. He stated he, Bryant, treats a woman with respect, therefore they shouldn’t say anything.”

That’s… that’s not nice. I’m sure that’s not going to cause Shaq any problems or anything. I know that Shaq and Kobe have had their differences, but… I think that telling federal investigators that your teammate bribes women to keep quiet about the fact that he nailed them might not be the best way to determine who should be the #1 option in the Lakers offense. And not only does Kobe say that Shaq pays up to $1 mil to keep girls quiet, there’s also the inference that he doesn’t treat them with respect to begin with.

And that’s my favorite part of this… the issue of treating women with respect. Of course, this is coming from Kobe, a guy who describes the facial (not in the blocked-shot sense) as “my thing,” and of course, he is talking about someone who pays women not to tell anyone he banged them, so… I don’t really know where the issue of respecting women comes into play.

No soldier has been hurt this bad since Private William T. Santiago in a Code Red at Gitmo. After learning that his right leg needs a second opreation, the Browns announced that Kellen Winslow Jr. is out for the year.

Bad news for the Browns, who really don’t have an offense. When healthy, it’s not much of a stretch to say that Winslow was their best offensive player. In fact, he still might be their best offensive player, laying in a hospital bed with an erector set in his knee.

Anyway, I wish him the best. Good luck, Kellen… and I hope you’re eligible for that purple heart.

It’s a legitimate question. Vijay has gone on a tear in 2004, and absolutely dickwhipped the rest of the PGA Tour, just as Tiger did in 2000. But I think Doug Ferguson reaches the right conclusion, too… that 2004 Vijay can’t compare with 2000 Tiger.

Vijay broke Tiger’s single-season money record, sure, but… a lot of that has to do with the inflation of tournament purses, caused in no small part by Tiger’s absurd run in 2000. If Tiger won the same tournaments in 2004 that he did in 2000, they’d have been worth $13,336,532… instead of the $9.1 mil he actually did get.

Also, Vijay’s won only one major this year, with Tiger won 3 in 2000. Tiger won 9 of the 20 tournaments he played in 2000. Vijay currently also has 9 victories in 2004, but it took him 29 tournaments to get there, and some of them were against weaker competition.

No one’s saying that Vijay isn’t a bad, bad, man… he just isn’t 2000 Tiger. Of course, it’s just something to talk about… while the real question is who will be better, 2005 Tiger, or 2005 Vijay? And how awesome would it be if Vijay, Tiger, Ernie, and Phil were all on top of their game at the same time?

Confirming what I already knew, a poll of current NFL players were asked who was the best running back in the NFL, and the answer… is LaDainian Tomlinson. I don’t even think it’s close. Look at the #’s Tomlinson is putting up, and now imagine what they could be if 1) he was on a team with any kind of a passing attack, or 2) he was on a team that ever played with the lead. He’s the complete package. Speed, quickness, incredible balance, vision, hands, durability… he has it all. You couldn’t build a better running back from scratch.

For the same poll, the players were also asked who’s the hardest hitter in the league… and the answer, not surprisingly, was Ray Lewis. Ray-Ray’s a great hitter, and an unbelievable athlete… he’s also handy with a shank, but I wouldn’t have named him the biggest hitter. He gets off of blocks, and goes sideline to sideline, and tackles with authority, but really, it’s not all that often that he lights someone up and makes you say, “Oooooh.” I’d say that the game’s hardest hitter is Rodney Harrison. He was 2nd in the poll.

The player voted as having the most handsome birthmark on his face was Drew Brees.

Even on his comeback tour, Joe Gibbs is still Bill Parcells’ bitch. He’s lost 12 of his last 16 to Parcells, including this last one on Monday night… so the logical thing to do the next day, is, of course, to complain about the officiating.

I like Joe Gibbs. I think he’s a good coach and a good guy. But he just got beat in his own house on Monday Night, in what should have been the game to announce that the Redskins are back. That didn’t happen… so just take the loss like an adult, and move on. The Redskins are still the Redskins… and Gibbs still can’t beat Parcells.

There are always bad calls. Always. But the Redskins, somewhere during the game, I’m sure, got a call or two of their own. I think it’s rare that a bad call actually changes the outcome of the game… and in this case, it certainly wouldn’t be accurate to say that if the Redskins got these calls, they would have won. If you want to win, play better.