First, Yao Ming. Apparently, Yao talks some shit on the court, which I never would have guessed. Not because he doesn’t speak English, but because nothing about him seems authoritative whatsoever. Anyway, Tyson Chandler said this about Yao:”Last time, he told me he was going to make me swallow my mouthpiece.”
It’s not world class trash talk, but it’s a start. Charles Oakley must’ve taught him that during his brief time with the Rockets. Personally, I’m waiting for Yao to take it to the next level by dunking on someone and saying, “Eat some kung pao shit, you round-eyed motherfucker.”
Moving onto this one, from Edgerrin James… and I believe it’s one of the finest quotes you’ll ever see anywhere. Speaking of the perceived cameraderie between himself, Marvin Harrison, and Peyton Manning, Edge said this:
“We’re like the Jackson 5. To everyone on the outside, it looks like we’re tight as hell. Then we go home, and it’s Jermaine in this room, Tito in that room, and Randy ain’t talkin’ to no one. When you get up close, it’s all dysfunctional.”
Anonymous Says:
March 3rd, 2005 at 12:18 am
“Personally, I’m waiting for Yao to take it to the next level by dunking on someone and saying, “Eat some kung pao shit, you round-eyed motherfucker.”"
Thanks MJD. Minute Maid Citrus Punch. All. Over. My. F*cking. LCD Screen. I could see thiat line and scenario as a commercial for a anti-computer-virus software company. The campaign’s name? “Never Assume”
NEVER ASSUME Spot #1:
(WE SEE GREG OSTERTAG BACK THE ROCKETS YAO MING DOWN ON THE LOW BLOCK AND FLIP A LITTLE LEFTY LAYUP OVER YAO AFTER GETTING HIM TO BITE ON A SHOULDER FAKE. THE CROWD GOES “OOOOOOOH” AS WE SEE OSTERTAG JOGGING UP COURT TO GET BACK ON “D”, GRINNING.)
OSTERTAG (LOW-FIVING A TEAMMATE): Easy pickins’…easy pickins…
(YAO GETS THE BALL ON THE WING AND CUTS BRISKLY TO THE HOOP, SWITCHING THE BALL FROM THE RIGHT HAND TO THE LEFT.)
OSTERTAG: (STEPPING UP TO THE CHARGING YAO) Yeah, yeah…what you got to say about it? Waht you got to say?
(YAO TAKES OFF–RIGHT INTO OSTERTAG’S CHEST–WE ARE NOW IN SLO-MO)
YAO: (IN SLO-MO, LOOKING DOWN ON THE DEFENDING OSTERTAG) Eat some kung pao shit, you round-eyed motherfucker!
(FROM ABOUT SIX DIFFERENT ANGLES WE SEE HIM FLUSH THE FACIAL DOWN INTO THE CHEST OF A FALLING AND OBVIOUSLY STUNNED OSTERTAG)
VOICE OVER: (Keith David) Never…assume–especially when it comes to your anti-virus software. (COMPANY’S NAME HERE) virus software.
(WE SEE A SHOT OF THE COMPANY’S LOGO OVER WHICH WE HEAR YAO’S VOICE AGAIN)
YAO: Kung pao!
And as for Edge’s “J-5″ quote? Almost perfect–but he should have said, “Tito in that room eatin’ a whole roast pig…”
Best,
Old School