7th graders in North Carolina were given a standardized test, with one of the questions having a football theme to it.

The kids were asked to come up with the total gain for a football team on their first six plays: a 6-yard loss, a 3-yard gain, a 2-yard loss, a 7-yard gain, a 12-yard gain, and a 4-yard gain.

The problem, of course, is that the team in question would’ve had a 4th and 15 after three plays, and then got 7 yards on the next play. That doesn’t work.

Mildred Bazemore, in charge of standardized tests and denying responsibility, said the question makes sense mathematically and was reviewed thoroughly.

“It has nothing to do with football,” Bazemore said. “It has to do with the mathematical concepts that you’re studying.”

Sorry Mildred, you fucked up. Just admit it. You wouldn’t have the kids write an essay about Shakespeare’s finest novel, “Gone With the Wind.” Just because Mildred doesn’t know anything about football doesn’t excuse her.

As a schoolboy, I had a tendency to give smart-ass answers on tests whenever the opportunity arose. If I was a 7th grader in Raleigh, someone would’ve gotten a test back that said, “THEY WOULD HAVE PUNTED ON FOURTH DOWN, YOU IGNORANT WHORE.”

So says his agent, anyway. On Wednesday, Ricky himself told Michael Silver of SI.com (via instant messenger) that he “honestly did not know” if he wanted to return or not.

Silver also points out that Ricky currently tips the scales at 195 pounds, 40 pounds below his playing weight. That has to be a bit of a concern.

Just as a point of reference, Troy Brown weighs 195 bounds. Koy Detmer weighs 195 pounds. I’m not saying it’s impossible to succeed as a running back at 195, and he’ll probably do his best to bulk up quickly, but… smaller running backs need to be shiftier and speedier. That was never really Ricky’s strength.

And if he does come back, he owes the NFL a four-game suspension. So how much he can help the Dolphins this year, who knows.

There’s also the issue of how teammates would receive him, after a lot of them felt he abandoned them last year. To those players, I recommend getting over yourselves. Ricky Williams didn’t owe you anything. He was an employee who had the right to quit, just like the organization has a fight to terminate his contract at any time. And if you’re upset about going 4-12 last year, maybe you could try to not suck so bad yourself.

But I’m rooting for him. It’ll be an interesting story, if nothing else.

That’s a solid move. Hockey is clearly a bustling industry right now. Lots of money coming in, lots of job opportunities, lots of good press. It’s golden. Great decision. Enjoy the AHL.

The Spurs took a one-game lead with the held of a 43-point fourth quarter yesterday. 43 points in a quarter, and it never even really seemed like they went on a run. I mean, I guess they did, numerically speaking, but the points just came in the normal flow of the game. They did what a good team probably should do against the Suns.

Nash (29 and 13 assists) and Amare (41 pts) both had huge games for the Suns, and they didn’t win. You’d have to think that most of the time that happens, they’re going to whoop some ass. And maybe it felt different to you, but despite having 41 and 29, it didn’t seem like either of them ever really took over. There were stretches where Amare was the man, but all-in-all, it didn’t feel like a 41-point performance. It was a quiet 41, if there is such a thing.

Shawn Marion contributed 3 points on 1 of 6 shooting. It was definitely a quiet 3 points. Marion saw a lot of Bruce Bowen, and judging from the numbers, didn’t like it. I thought we’d see Bowen on Nash in Game 1. It didn’t happen. Even when Bowen wasn’t around, Marion couldn’t get himself involved.

The Spurs defended Nash and the pick-and-roll in a variety of ways. In the first half, they were switching it, leaving a big man on Nash. And when he passed it, no other Sun was smart enough to get it back to him and let him work on the big man. A lot of times, the Spurs just seemed to want to force him towards the outside, and say to him, “If you wanna get by me, fine, I can’t stop you. But I’m at least going to steer you towards a big man.” Even doing so, Nash managed to get free for a handful of his cash-money off-balance 12-footers. And then late in the game, the Spurs decided to trap Nash with both defenders, and it worked like a charm.

This series could be huge for Tim Duncan. I don’t think he was completely healthy, and he still went for 28, including 4 for 6 in the fourth quarter and a nifty 8 of 10 from the line. None of the Suns big men could do much against him one-on-one. And when they doubled, he passed out of it and found someone open. Mike D’Antoni’s going to have to come up with something.

Bench points: 14 for Phoenix, 33 for San Antonio. All 33 came from Brent Barry and Robert Horry. Barry finally earned a paycheck with the Spurs, cashing on opportunities from behind the arc. Horry played well, too.

Another guy who I thought played well was Jim Jackson. He scored when they asked him to, and he played pretty good defense on Manu Ginobili. He denied him his left hand, all day long. Manu finished with 20, the same # that Jackson had. That’s definitely a victory for Phoenix, and is something that makes me think that getting Joe Johnson might not help them as much as they think. Jackson was clutch today, and Joe Johnson isn’t as good a defender as he is. He can do a lot more offensively, but… offense isn’t really the problem for Phoenix.

I’m just going to cut and paste from the article, because I don’t want to exaggerate this. It really doesn’t require exaggeration.

–

The Pistons were still shaking their heads at what happened Thursday night as they were on their bus inside the loading-dock area of Conseco Fieldhouse.

It was between 11:30 and midnight and the Pistons’ bus was about to leave the arena for the airport.

Suddenly, a dark Escalade roared into the loading dock, nearly hitting several people.

Out jumped Ron Artest, the Pacers forward who got a seasonlong suspension for his part in the Nov. 19 brawl.

According to Pistons players on the bus, Artest was wearing an old (and short) pair of shorts. He had no shoes on and, upon getting out of the vehicle, he tore off his T-shirt.

Given the history between Artest and the Pistons, the team’s security officials were on high alert. But Artest made no motion toward the bus. He simply walked, bare-chested and bare-footed, into the building, presumably for a midnight workout.

“There’s something going on there,” Ben Wallace said, not wanting to comment further.

–

I can just shrug. That’s, um… a bit unusual. Who drives bare-footed? And why is he tearing off his t-shirt and the way in the building? And why are his shorts so short? And what the hell is he doing at Conseco at midnight, after the Pacers were eliminated?

I theorized that he wanted to show up and show some love for Reggie after his last game. But even if that’s the case, that leaves all but one of those questions unanswered. And why would it have taken him until midnight to come and do that? Did he forget there was a game that night?

Ah, the mystery of Ron Artest. The legend grows.