Lazer Collazo was the head coach at Gulliver Preperatory School in Miami. Lazer Collazo will now be looking for other employment opportunities.

This is awesome. Lazer was talking to the kids after a loss to Florida Christian. Lazer apparently wasn’t happy with the effort his players were showing. So he did what any good coach would do…

…and he yanked out the captain.

Yep. Lazer displayed his penis, and his testicles… and asked his players if they had those, or if they had vaginas.

And I think it’s hilarious. Wrong, sure… but certainly on the hilarious side of wrong. I mean, a million high school coaches every day accuse their players of not having balls, or of being pussies. Most of them know when to stop, though. Most of them don’t take that extra step and show the goods.

He should be out of a job, and he is, so I’m not going to get too broken up about it. I’d rather be coached by this guy than Larry Cochell. They were high school kids, not pre-schoolers. They are all aware of male genitalia. If I was on the team, I’d have probably thought it was pretty funny. And it may have even worked as a motivational tactic. I’d be hanging out at 3rd base thinking, “Man, I do not wanna see this guy’s junk again.”

I guess it could happen. There’s no specific plan in place or anything, but the idea was out there. Some people expect that it’s coming in the next few years, and David Stern isn’t denying it.

Surprise, surprise, Mark Cuban is all for it. “Anything that creates new revenue sources is good for both the teams and the players,” he said.

And the argument that it cheapens things?

“I never understood the concept of ‘it cheapens the game,’ ” he said. “What does that really mean? That it helps minimize ticket price increases? The NBA is a business, and the only mistake is not to seriously consider revenue forms that make it financially stable.”

I’d be with him, if he hadn’t mention the thing about ticket prices. Ticket prices don’t ever do anything but go up, and if team owners find a way to take in more money somewhere else, I have yet to see them pass that savings on to ticket-buyers. New TV deals are signed. Prices still get jacked. New advertisers are found. Prices still get jacked. The next time a sports team owner uses a new revenue stream to help out ticket-buyers will be the first time.

I’m not really fundamentally opposed to it. I mean, if it gives my team a few extra bucks to spend on a free agent, I’m with that. And it’s going to happen, there’s no point in bitching about it. What is key, however, is to integrate the company logo seamlessly into the uniform. You can’t just sew a logo onto the uniform any damn place you feel like.

Soccer teams do a good job. I could live with something like that. Example, example, example.

Bob Knight does not.

Arena Football does not.

Lacrosse does not.

Shaq has been sworn in as a U.S. deputy marshall, and has been working on a task force to catch online sexual predators.

He’s had this obsession with law enforcement forever. When he says he wants to be a cop when his career is over, I believe him.

I think anyone he catches trying to endanger children should actually be forced to have sex with him. I think that’s the most important contribution he could make to law enforcement. You get caught using the Internet to meet children, and you have to be Shaq’s catcher. Actually, give them the choice… 10 years in the clink, or they get into some Siegfried and Roy positions with The Diesel.

I know I’m a day late on this, but I wanted to send some love A-Rod’s way for telling the world that therapy was helping him. I think that’s cool.

That takes some balls. I only recall a couple of athletes ever going public with the fact that they were in therapy, and one of them was Ricky Williams, so… therapy may need a boost in the PR department.

But kids look up to him, when he isn’t sissy-slapping the ball from someone’s mitt. And you know, I’m guessing that Major League Baseball clubhouses aren’t the most enlightened of places, and he’s going to take some abuse. So for him to speak up, and try to get the word out to people who may need it… I respect that. I’m cool with A-Rod.