Yao quitely signed a max-contract extension with the Rockets yesterday, and Ric Bucher writes an article praising him for not holding the franchise hostage, not doing the free agent tour thing, basically, not acting like “your typical spoiled NBA max-contract player.”

Like Ric Bucher, I’m also interested in Yao not acting like your typical max-contract player, but in a different way. My interest is more about what happens on the court. I look at Yao and how he does, or perhaps more accurately, doesn’t, impact games, and I’m not sure he deserves that kind of dough. It’s not quite as bad as Michael Redd getting max dollars… one in every ten games or so, Yao will take over a game, whereas Michael Redd just isn’t capable of it. But Yao’s never proven that he can do it consistently.

Now, I’m not criticizing the Rockets, becauase they pretty much have to give it to him… if Michael Redd is getting paid like that, it’s hard to tell Yao he can’t. There was really no other course of action for the Rockets. You can’t let him walk and get nothing, and you can’t expect him to sign the same kind of contract that Samuel Dalembert just got. But Yao has never become the impact player he should be. He’s not in the class of the game’s best big men, but NBA economics dictate that he has to be paid like them.

Some dude from Luxembourg named Gilles Muller took down Andy Roddick last night, 7-6, 7-6, 7-6. I didn’t see it, and no one seems to have any explanation for me as to why it happened.

Hey, sometimes people have good days, sometimes people have bad days. Muller had a good one, Roddick had a bad one. That’s really the only possibile explanation, because you know it’s not that the Luxembourgian dude is better.

Roddick seems completely blindsided. “I’ve put more work in mentally and physically in every which way,” he said. “I’ve never cared so much as I care now, which makes it tough. Last year I didn’t work hard. I didn’t even step up. I wasn’t training hardly and somehow sneaking out big points. This year I just killed it as far as working hard and doing all the right things. I took my lumps… We’re talking about this as a big disappointment and I’m still sitting up at three in the rankings. I guess that’s a good sign. It’s tough for me to have a lot of perspective right now.”

Ouch. It’s hard not to feel for the guy. It’s like if Daniel lost in the first round of the tournament, before getting to face Dutch or Johnny. The difference is that Daniel had a chance to take down Johnny… but Roddick seems to have no crane kick that will work against Roger Federer.

Sometimes, it just sneaks up on you. There are actually 11 games on Thursday night, headlined by… well, they all kinda suck. There’s Central Florida traveling to South Carolina to face Steve Spurrier’s new “cock ‘n fire” offense, named for a disease you can get for having sex with someone after he/she has had sex with Michael Vick. Also, #20 Arizona state hosts Temple, Vanderbilt takes on Wake Forest in the “Irrelevant Teams, Big Conferences” Bowl.

On Friday, there’s also a couple of games. The Indiana/Central Michigan showdown, and then Arizona/Utah.

On Saturday, #6 Ohio State gets a W against Miami University, #3 Tennessee gets a W against UAB, #10 Florida gets a W against Wyoming, and someone will probably get a W in the Duke/East Carolina game, though I can’t really guarantee that. And at 5:30 is the very interesting #18 Boise State vs. #13 Georgia game. Later that night, Notre Dame visits #23 Pitt, and that’s where ESPN’s Gameday crew will start their season.

And there’s more on Sunday. West Virginia travels to take on Syracuse and their dumb new uniforms, #12 Louisville hammers Kentucky in the “At Least You Have a Chance in Basketball” Bowl, and there’s another interesting game that night with #8 Virginia Tech traveling to take on what should be a tough NC State team.

And it doesn’t end there. Monday night brings up #9 Miami (Fla.) against #14 Florida State, which always provides good entertainment. I kinda hate both these teams, but in this instance, I gotta go with the least-offensive mascot, as well as the most sane, lucid, functioning, non-religious-whackjob head coach. Whoop some ass, Canes.

There’s a pretty big soccer game this Saturday, that I’m sure none of you care about. The U.S. is taking on Mexico here on our home turf, and there’s a World Cup spot on the line. The winner is in. No World Cup clinching game for the United States has ever been televised live. And this one also nearly wasn’t.

They had to be begged, but ESPN finally decided to air the match live on Classic. I know there’s a lot of college football being played Saturday, and I know that whatever old roller derby marathon they were showing on Classic was really special, but I don’t know why ESPN had to drag their feet for so long on this. It was five days before they even before they let fans know they could be bothered to interrupt the 1988 Westminster Dog Show on Classic.

So, um, thanks, ESPN. If Georgia/Boise State turns into a blowout, or is in some way not compelling, check it out. And if the mood strikes you, start up the San Antonio Defenders chant from Baseketball, “One, two, three, FUCK THE MEXICANS.”

So I’m reading the “Fifth Annual Herbies” yesterday, the front-page story on ESPN.com, where Kirk Herbstreit ranks college football players and coaches in various categories. He also ranks things like Prettiest Coeds, Best Uniforms, and Best Restaurants, and it occurred to me… this is pretty dumb.

Which is fine with me. Not everything I read has to be Tolstoy, and Lord knows, it’s not like everything I write here raises the intellectual level of Joe Q. American. But it kinda sorta led me to think in a roundabout way… why are all the black writers at ESPN.com relegated to Page 2, particularly when innane stuff like The Herbies can get top billing?

Page 2 is the irreverant, sarcastic, not-to-be-taken-seriously stepchild of ESPN.com, right? It’s where they feature things like battles against squirrels and WWF Summerslam Diaries. It’s also where the work of Ralph Wiley, Scoop Jackson, and Jason Whitlock has been featured, despite the fact that they’ve written about some very serious things.

Can anyone name for me some other ESPN columnists that are black and don’t appear on Page 2? Are there any? I’m seriously asking. I don’t pay attention to some parts of ESPN.com, like the baseball or Nascar sections, or the ever-popular Page 3. Off-hand, I can think of a single black columnist that hasn’t been stuck on Page 2, and it’s Chris Broussard of Insider, about the 87th banana in ESPN.com’s NBA coverage, behind Marc Stein, Mark Kreidler, Chad Ford, John Hollinger, and Adrian Wojnarski, all whiter than a paper plate in a snowstorm. And again, this is their NBA crew. But please, correct me if I’m wrong and there are more out there. And I’m talking about people who are primarily writers, not someone like Greg Anthony doing a guest piece or something.

Now, I’m not accusing anyone at ESPN.com of running around with white hoods and saying that black columnists are ignorant and illiterate. Maybe there are just no black sportswriters out there, I don’t know. But I thought the trend at ESPN.com was at least worth mentioning. I think there may be a perception, and it wouldn’t be limited to ESPN.com, that black writers are to be taken less seriously and are perhaps less credible. To me, the evidence suggests that such a perception exists.

This is not the kind of move that will make a lot of difference in the Spurs regular season record next year. But it is the kind of signing that could win another playoff game or two for them.

A couple of years ago, Nick Van Exel was the backup point guard for the Mavs… and no one noticed him too much until the playoffs until he served as the Mavs 4th quarter ballsack. He was the only player on the roster who would take the tough 4th quarter shots and make them. While Dirk Nowitzki was actively hiding from the basketball, Van Exel took them as far as he could.

And yes, he’s a couple of years older, and he didn’t impress anyone in Portland, but at this point in his career… games against the Grizzlies on Wednesday nights in November aren’t what Nick Van Exel is hired for. If he’s got the clutch juevos, he can be a difference maker in a playoff game, and I don’t see how this can really go wrong for the Spurs. In the event that he is washed up and brings an attitude problem, there’s a solid enough infrastructure in place that he can’t be a problem. But if he’s a good soldier and still has some juice left, he could make a difference for the Spurs next summer in the playoffs.

Mike McAllister of SI.com (a site that loves me) runs through some of the big-time sports movies that are due out this fall. There’s some interesting stuff out there. Let’s break it down:

The promising:

Two for the Money: Matthew McConaughey, Al Pacino, and Rene Russo. Pacino and Wooderson are enough to make it a can’t-miss prospect for me… but throw in some gambling and an outside chance at Rene Russo nudity, and we’ve got a winner. McConaughey’s an ex-college football stud who can handicap games Ace Rothstein-style. He gets sucked into the high-stakes sports-gambling business.

Green Street Hooligans: Elijah Wood, Claire Forlani, Charlie Hunnam. Elijah Wood gets expelled from Harvard, goes to visit his sister in England, and falls in with some British soccer hooligans. It got good reviews at the SXSW Festival, whatever that is. Soccer hooligans fascinate me, though, so I think it sounds cool.

The bizarre:

Daltry Calhoun: Johnny Knoxville, Juliette Lewis. It’s a dark comedy about a rich golfer who has some kind of a problem when he suddenly has to take care of his 14-year-old daughter. I don’t know what to say about this.

The quite likely to suck:

Dreamer: Kurt Russell, Dakota Fanning. First, just let me say that I hate it when people confuse horse racing with a sport. And now that that’s out of the way, I’m pretty sure I’m done with horse racing movies for the rest of my life. Seabiscuit was the most overrated 120-minutes of sappy bullshit I’ve ever seen, and I’d rather just watch horses fuck for two hours. The plot involves a “trainer who’s lost his way” and a “great horse now injured.” Sounds revolutionary.

Ann Wolfe (22-1, 15 KOs) is set to take on Bo Skipper (11-3, 7 KOs) in what is the first sanctioned man vs. woman bout in professional boxing history that has taken place outside of Warren Moon’s house.

Said Bo of his upcoming bout, “I’m coming to knock Ann Wolfe out. I am coming to prove that no woman belongs in the ring with a man in a professional boxing event. I’ve never hit a woman in my life, my daddy would have kicked my tail if I would have. But it is different in the ring. In the ring she is not a woman or a man, she is a boxer.”

It’s at least more compelling than anything going on in the heavyweight division right now. I might drop a few bucks to see this. I have, of course, never seen either of them fight, but I gotta be honest with you… I don’t see any way that the woman isn’t a huge underdog. They’re fighting in the 165-lb. weight class, but the guy’s almost gotta be stronger and quicker, doesn’t he?

I don’t see it ending well for Ann Wolfe, but she really doesn’t have a lot to lose, I suppose. But Bo Skipper better win, or he’s not likely to be enjoying the rest of his career.

Ced the Running Back has finally become the last first rounder to put his Herbie Hancock (sorry, I watched Tommy Boy this weekend) on a contract, signing a five-year deal with the Bears and providing a faint glimmer of hope for my RB-starved fantasy team.

The deal really improves the Bears team this year and gives them hope to win as many as 3 games. In other Bear-related news, Kyle Orton has been named the starting quarterback in what’s not so much a roster decision as it is a cry for help. Having Orton at QB is good news for Benson, because despite being behind Thomas Jones on the depth chart, it now might be a good idea to give them both about 40 carries per game.

Another rookie running back got some not-so-great news this weekend, as Maurice Clarett was cut by the Denver Broncos. Not since Ryan Leaf has a player gotten so many headlines for doing nothing but sucking. As it turns out, if he wanted to play professional football when he was 19, he should’ve just headed to Canada, because that could be where he’s going to end up anyway. Thanks for the memories, Maurice. The good news is that there’s still time to get yourself on the cover of EA’s upcoming Arena Football game.

Citing an invitation to a 100th birthday party for someone newer and seemingly better than his mother, Larry Brown skipped out on his mother’s 100th birthday party. Coach Brown had reportedly committed to attending his mother’s soiree until some other random 100-year-old woman, who appeared to be more lucid and smell less like cat urine, invited the coach to her shindig.

When contacted for comment, Brown said, “Hey, this was my mother’s decision. She forced me out. I think Joe Dumars may have also had something to do with it. I’ve always just tried to do things the right way. Screw it, I’ll catch her on her 200th. Hey, everyone still likes me, right?”

Brown, pictured on the right showing how he planned to eat the delicious chocolate birthday cake the right way, was seen in the driveway of Darko Milicic near the time of his mother’s party, letting the air out of Milicic’s tires.

themightymjd.com would like to extend our most sincere happy birthday wishes to Brown’s mother, Miss Ann Alpern, as well as our wishes that her son Larry wasn’t such a dildo.