If The Natural was about Peyton Manning, could Kenny Chesney be playing the Kim Basinger role?
Just a tremendous find by the fellas at Deadspin… in fact, it’s the kind of thing that makes my life worth living. A British gossip magazine called PopBitch includes this little nugget on their website today…
Strangest Renee-Kenny rumour coming out of the States. The marriage fraud? His “friendship” with Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning.
I’ll be honest with you, I sometimes read about dumb shit like the Kenny Chesney/Renee Zellweger breakup. The “Most EMailed Stories” are all listed on my Yahoo homepage, I can’t avoid it. Anyway, when I heard that they were splitting up because of some “fraud,” the first thing I thought was, “Man, I wish I had a shot at Zellweger.” But the second thing I thought was, “Y’know, I bet someone’s gay.”
And of course, this is just a rumor, and a crazy, crazy rumor at that… in fact, I’ll just say it: There’s no way it’s true. But wouldn’t it be fun if it was? Wouldn’t it be great if the reason for Peyton Manning’s early season slump as that Kenny Chesney can be a real nag at home?
I hope that CBS’s halftime interview with Peyton Manning on Sunday goes something like this:
Armen Keteyian: Peyton, you guys had a great first half, how do you keep the momentum going?
Peyton: Well, we’ve just got to execute and be ready, I’m sure they’ll make some adjustments, and we will, too.
Armen Keteyian: Could Kenny Chesney be described as a good kisser?
Peyton: Well, his lips are real soft and–HEY.
(Armen Keteyian calmly holds the microphone in his face, smiling, while Peyton gets the “Uh oh” look on his face and sprints towards the tunnel. The camera moves to a shot or Archie Manning in the stands downing a bottle of Homocil. Archie then answers his cell phone, and it’s Eli on the other end asking, “Daddy, what’s gay mean?”)
By the way, don’t picture them having sex.