Archive for October 14th, 2005

October14

Thug Life Milicic finally collared

By: the mighty mjd


In a clear indication that he is ready to become an NBA superstar, Darko Milicic was arrested yesterday.

The charges? Breaking & entering, assault & battery, arson, double homicide, and littering; for when he reached into a dude’s chest, pulled his still-beating heart out, took a bite, and spit it on the sidewalk.

Okay, I made all of that up. Darko was arrested for driving on a suspended license, which stemmed from his not paying a couple of parking tickets. He was initially pulled over for having windows that were illegally tinted. Reporters caught up with him as he was leaving the police station.

“I BE ILLEGAL TINTIN’, BITCH,” Milicic screamed after being released on $100 bail. “I don’t be givin’ a fuck about no window tintin’, no bust-ass parkin’ tickets, or none of that. Y’all need to back up off me and respect my gangsta. THUG LIFE, MY N—GAS,” he yelled at no one in particular while pounding his chest.

Asked how he intended to pay the parking tickets, Darko responded, “Straight cash, homey.”

Alright, I made all of that up, too.

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October14

Romanowski tells ’60 Minutes’ he used steroids

By: the mighty mjd

Also, Liberace was gay.

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October14

Chad Johnson and Pac Man Jones both have endzone dances planned

By: the mighty mjd

Johnson says his celebration this week will have a “country theme,” since he’s in Nashville. For his part, Pac Man Jones says that if he happens to score, he has a celebration planned, too.

It’s a pretty brilliant thing for a receiver to do. People love it. It gets them ink. And while I often find them amusing, y’know, if I was a teammate, I’m not sure I’d be thrilled about it.

I don’t want to go all old-school on you… but it just seems so selfish. Believe me, the River Dance made me laugh as much as the next guy, and my argument is not about the sanctity of the game, or respecting his opponents, or anything else. It’s about his own teammates. I mean, there are 11 guys on the field. If any one of them fails to do their job, Chad Johnson probably doesn’t score his touchdown.

You’ve got the line blocking. Backs staying in to pick up the blitz. Other receivers running decoy routes, drawing defenders away. You’ve got the pass itself from the quarterback. And Chad Johnson, or Terrell Owens, or Randy Moss, or any of these guys, they happen to be the one who catches the pass and scores, they have the nerve to tell their teammates to stay away from them so they can celebrate. That’s always kind of irked me.

Imagine being a lineman… you’re 38 years old, your knees and back are shot, you need 47 tranquilizers and a six cortisone shots to play every Sunday. You’re busting your ass trying to keep Warren Sapp (or even a good player) out of the backfield, and everything finally clicks, and the team scores a touchdown. You run up to your teammate to congratulate him and celebrate… and he’s like, “Wait, get three yards away from me so I can do this dance, get on SportsCenter and get some endorsement money. And then I’ll have time for a hug from you, but don’t squeeze too hard. Thanks for the block, though, and I really hope you can walk for the rest of your life.”

Bugs me.

But, that said… I’m not Chad Johnson’s teammate, and I can’t deny that I’d like to see both Johnson and Pac Man score so I can see their celebrations.

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October14

Just because I promised…

By: the mighty mjd

Alex Rodriguez is a pussy. Discuss.

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October14

I have evidently infringed on someone else’s intellectual property rights

By: the mighty mjd


Longtime readers may recall that I had a little shop set up at CafePress.com, where I sold t-shirts, hats, bumper stickers, things of that nature. Well, I didn’t actually sell many… in fact, I haven’t seen a dime. Anyway…

I hadn’t thought about any of it in months, and I get an e-mail yesterday from the CafePress.com people stating that they had to take down one of my items because someone else is claiming that it infringed on their intellectual property rights. I’m not going to name the company, but they apparently have something to do with college athletics and their licensing… things of that nature.

The item in question was a t-shirt that said, in a plain font, “i went to a colorado football game and all i got was forcefully sodomized.” There were no logos, no mascots mentioned, nothing of the sort. I posted it soon after the Katie Hnida/Every-Other-Female-in-Colorado rape incidents, I wasn’t happy with the responses of Gary Barnett and the people at Colorado and I thought the shirt was sort of a funny way to take a little jab at them.

Now, I don’t care about having to remove it. I took down the t-shirt, the image, all of that. And I have no desire to put them back up. But I’m just wondering, and maybe someone who’s involved with law can tell me… is that really an infringement? Can the words “colorado football game” not appear at all on an unlicensed t-shirt?

I dunno. I know nothing of the law in this area, or any other. Any thoughts?

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