The last time an NBA team lost a preseason game to an international team was in 1998. Eager to get their names in the history books, though, the Raptors lost yesterday to Maccabi Tel Aviv by a score of 105-102.

And then there’s this from Raptors coach Sam Mitchell, who’s like a more depressed Herm Edwards…

“At some point, we’ve got to learn,” he said to the assembled media. “When that’s going to be, I don’t know.

“I got nowhere else to go, nothing else to do, but just try to get better. If it kills me, we’re going to try to get better. If I have to die trying, then that’s what’s going to happen. I’ll die in the gym.”

Are you happy, Rafael Araujo? Are you happy, Loren Woods? You’re going to kill your coach. The man is talking about giving his life to make it so that you don’t completely suck.

I think the Raptors should somehow work this into their marketing campaign, putting it on billboards and newspaper ads: “RAPTORS BASKETBALL 2006: WE JUST MIGHT KILL SAM MITCHELL.”

In defense of the Raps, however, Maccabi Tel Aviv is the best club team in Europe and likely played a lot harder than the NBA guys. One, because they wanted to win a lot more, and two, because, well… they’re NBA guys. They don’t bust their ass in the regular season, let alone the preseason.

And even with that, the Israeli team had to play their balls off to beat maybe the worst team in the NBA by a scant two points.

“This is history,” someone named Green said. “Everybody remembers the game Maccabi played and won against the Washington Bullets 20-something years ago. They are still talking about it. And I’m sure 20 years from now, they will still be talking about this one.”

You take your little victories where you can get them, I guess. It probably isn’t a whole lot of fun to live in Israel, so hey, if beating the Bullets and the Raptors puts a smile on the faces of people… hey, enjoy it. Remember it as fondly as the time you beat the Ehtiopians in a chicken-wing eating contest.

And the other thing that this makes clear is that the basketball talent in the United States is still, despite what you may have heard, head and shoulders above anywhere else in the world. Their best club team against our worst, and they win by two? And they’re even allowed to have American players. I’d suspect that if the Raptors do round into their likely-to-be-quite-sad midseason form and give it their best effort, that they could beat the Maccabi team without much of a problem.

“Goofy” is the best word I can come up with to describe Peter King’s MMQB… goofy, as in, “somewhat endearingly dorky.” I certainly wouldn’t say he’s dumb, or he’s a bad writer, or anything of that nature… because I just don’t think any of those things are true. I like reading the MMQB, and I do so every week… but I just can’t get past some of the goofiness. He does make some good points from time to time (such as his thoughts on high draft picks in this week’s column), but we’re not going to focus on that because the goofiness conquers all. I’ve almost started to grow fond of it. I think I’m going to make this a weekly thing, where I discuss some football issues and Peter King’s eccentricities. This week’s list…

“This is going to be knee-jerk, it’s going to be reactionary, it’s going to be borderline scandalous. (And I’m not talking about the brainless Vikings on the party boat either.)”

Later in the MMQB, Peter’s “Quote of the Week” is from Zygi Wilf about the Orgy on Lake Minnetonka.

And several paragraphs later…

“5. I think new Minnesota owner Zygi Wilf knows what he has to do. He has to fire them all, and he has to do it on Jan. 2, 2006, the day after this shipwreck (certainly no pun intended, and there’s been far too much light made of this story in the press, by the way) of a season.”

I agree that that’s what Zygi Wilf has to do, but… didn’t Peter make at least two other references to the Vikings situation before criticizing the media for making too much light about it? If you can’t make fun of an NFL team turning a cruise into a sex romp, what can you make fun of?

“In (Washington defensive coordinator Gregg) Williams’ system, journeyman Warrick Holdman is a better fit as his strongside linebacker and is ahead of (LaVar) Arrington on the depth chart. Where exactly is the need for a free-lancing linebacker?”

If all Arrington can do at this point in his career is freelance, that’s on the coaching staff. He’s never had an attitude problem, and he seems like a guy who’s willing to be coached. His physical gifts are off the charts. He’s a playmaker. And I’m supposed to believe that Warrick Holdman is doing things on the field that Arrington is not capable of, or can’t be coached to do? I’m sorry, I can’t make that leap.

“When it comes to draft mania, everyone gets sucked in. The LaVar Arrington story suggests we ought to simmer down. Quite a bit.”

So I can assume that there will be no kind of articles about the draft coming from Peter King in April?

In the Fine Fifteen… 2. San Diego (3-3).”

In Week 2, the Chargers lost to the team behind them at #3, Denver. Last week, they lost to the team at #6, Pittsburgh. A win over the Raiders earns them the spot at #2? Odd.

“13. Seattle (4-2). Best late game next Sunday: Dallas at Latteland.”

Latteland? Does it get goofier than that?

As one of the things he liked about this week: “j. Santana Moss. He’s making beautiful music with Mark Brunell.”

Are they a QB/WR combo, or a young couple exploring the pleasures of love and romance?

As one of the things he didn’t like about this week: “f. Pittsburgh’s depth. Or lack thereof.”

Without their two best players, and with a QB performance so bad that it made Ryan Leaf cringe, the Steelers still came damn close to beating the Jaguars, who are probably in the upper-half of teams in the NFL. I’d say it was more impressive than unimpressive.

“a. Why is UConn in a the same conference with Cincinnati and Louisville?”

Well, where do you want them to be? What’s the issue here? Geography? Without checking mapquest, I’m going to guess that Boston College is farther away from any ACC team than UConn is from Cincinnati. What conference do you want them to be in? What makes more sense than the Big East? Exactly what in the goofy hell are you talking about, Peter?

“d. Coffeenerdness: Stumbled into a fine new coffee place over the weekend in Houston — Diedrich’s. Had a superb, ultra-espresso-laced latte. The darker the better.”

Peter likes his coffee like he likes his women. Large, dark, and about $10 a pop.

“e. It was a weekend to end all weekends, basically. First U2 on Friday at Madison Square Garden, then on Saturday I saw Clemens-Astros-Cards, then Sunday at the Michael Vick Show.”

First, you are the luckiest bastard in the history of the planet. Secondly, the reviews are in from the Michael Vick Show:

11/23, 112 yards, 1 TD, 1 interception, against the New Orleans defense.

Quite a show.

f. I really miss House.”

Well, that makes one person. I hope you’ll be OK until the DVDs are out, Peter. Hang in there, buddy. I know you can get through this.

This week’s Sunday Afternoon Smorgasbord is up for your Monday reading pleasure. Enjoy.

Ouch. Hard not to feel for her on this one. I’d guess that Michelle Wie spent a good portion of her Sunday in tears, and I feel for her. I mean, this was probably the biggest day of her life to this point. To have it go so wrong… I mean, I’m a grown man, and I know I’d be crying like Dick Vermeil being interviewed by Barbra Walters. This is a 16-year-old girl… she’s gotta be hurting.

I’m not suggesting that she was wronged in some way, but still, this was harsh. She made some an illegal drop that put her closer to the hole (she says by about three inches, some rules officals say by about a foot), and was disqualified after finishing fourth and signing an incorrect scorecard, coughing up about $53,000.

Be it 3 inches or a foot, it’s not that big of a deal and probably didn’t make a difference in her score. But golf is different. Golf is the one sport in which you do not cheat. Anyone who plays records their own scores on their honor. I know it’s different for professionals who have 20 cameras following them, but it’s still the culture of the game. The least little bit of cheating cannot be tolerated. That’s just how golf is.

She didn’t try to cheat. She was not trying to gain an advantage, and after the round, she gets blindsided with this. Let the tears flow. I hope she can find a way to fight through this until next Sunday when she can cash the next big fat check.

Let me see if I understand this… Ricky Williams retires before the season starts, and he’s a quitter, loser, and someone who’s bailing out on his teammates. Brett Hull retires 5 games into the season because he figures out that he’s not very good anymore, and he’s still a good guy? Oh, okay.

I just find it odd. I mean, Brett Hull seeing that he can’t do it anymore and retiring, that’s fine. But he can’t figure that out during training camp? That didn’t become clear to him in the preseason? He couldn’t have done this at a time when the Coyotes front office wouldn’t have had a few more options for filling that hole in the line-up? It’s not like he just lost his abiilty this week… if it was gone now, it was gone a month ago.

It just seems to me like he made a commitment to the Coyotes for the year, and he’s quitting. I mean, I feel for him… it’s gotta be so painful to realize that you just can’t do it anymore, and ultimately, sure, it’s the best thing, because it opens up a spot for a younger guy, but… it seems like this was handled pretty poorly and selfishy. It’s the timing that bothers me.