If he’s convicted, he could do 2-5 years, depending on how much he likes Larry Bird. The good news is that he’s a professional athlete, which means he’s not likely to be convicted, and even if he is, probation is the most likely. Commissioner Stern, do ankle bracelets fit into the new dress code? Is the lowjack considered excessive jewelry?

But the bad news for Tony is that the incident’s been caught on tape, so… that takes away some of his wiggle room, as well as some of the effectiveness of a glowing character assessment from Doc Rivers.

Here’s what may or may not have happened: Allen and his entourage were at a club, Allen spotted someone he had a previous beef with, turned to one of his boys, and said, “Fuck him up.” The guy was shot later that night. Allen is not a suspect in the shooting… but he does also face civil charges from a previous incident where he’s accused of punching a guy and fracturing his eye socket.

So at least he learned from one incident to the next that it’s better to have your boy do your dirty work than it is for you to do it yourself. That’s progress. Maybe Danny Ainge is on to something here with the braintyping stuff.

Said Doc Rivers, “He never should have put himself in that situation. The bottom line is I think Tony is a good kid – I think he wants to be a good kid – and I think he put himself in a horrible situation. Now we’ve just got to hope he gets out of it.”

Yeah, that’s the important thing here, that Tony Allen gets out of it. I’m not saying he did it, I’m not saying he deserves any kind of punishment, I’m just saying… a guy’s been shot, Tony Allen may have had something to with that, so to me, the important thing is not that he “gets out of it.”

According to various reports, Tommy Maddox’s kids have been taking a little bit of abuse at school, and someone has thrown some trash on Tommy’s lawn, in the wake of his horrendous performance last week against Jacksonville.

Fickle, fickle, people. It wasn’t that long ago that everyone in Pittsburgh had a hat or t-shirt with a “#8″ and “TOMMY GUN” written on it. Now, those same people are more likely to point an actual gun at Tommy.

He was once Pittsburgh’s savior, rescuing them from the Kordell Stewart era. The love for him was nearly universal, but all that, apparently, has been forgotten. Don’t get me wrong, if there was ever a single-game QB performance deserving of some lawn trash, this one was it. But that still doesn’t make it right. Someday, the people of Pittsburgh are going to want to buy insurance from a former XFL MVP, and they’ll wish they hadn’t done this.

Anyway, Steelers fan, if you want to abuse someone’s kids and litter on someone’s lawn, you could start with the guy who decided that it was a good idea that Maddox play all 60+ minutes against Jacksonville. You could start with the guy who refused to put Jerome Bettis in to fall forwards when the Steelers needed a crucial yard or two. You could start with the guy who broke in to Warren Sapp’s house and stole all of his hideous sweaters. He might’ve had something to do with that loss, too.

That was the word for Superdome officials yesterday, who said the Saints could play at least some of their home games there in 2006.

Sounds like good news… until you consider that colossal douchebag owner Tom Benson doesn’t want to play in the Superdome in ’06… or ’07 or ’08 or any damn time, because he’d rather be in San Antonio.

Benson, not nearly as lovable as the sitcom star of the same name, also fired a longtime team official because he was an advocate of keeping the team in New Orleans… according to the fired dude, anyway. Another longtime team official has resigned over it.

You can read the details here, but it seems like Benson is doing everything in his power to high-step it to San Antonio. And you know, I get that it’s a tough situation for him. Maybe New Orleans wasn’t the best situation for the team, even pre-Katrina, and maybe now, it’s even worse.

Benson’s a businessman, and I know he’s got to look out for his bottom line, but… at what a cost? How much more money does he need? I’m never going to have any sympathy for any NFL owner who cries poor. Owning an NFL team makes you not poor.

It just feels like any kind of a decent human being would want to let the community keep their team. He’d at least make an effort, because it’s part of something bigger. If the Superdome was leveled, and he was getting no support from the community, that would be one thing. But the building is going to be fine, it’s going to be repaired for next year, and the city could probably use the help of the Saints in getting New Orleans back together.

He’s looking at the situation, and instead of saying to himself, “Things are really bad here, I should do what I can to boost the community,” he’s saying, “Things are really bad here. I better get the hell out of here.” This guy is making Art Modell look like Gandhi.

You may remember last season when Paul Shirley, the 12th man on the bench of the Phoenix Suns, kept a litte diary on the Suns team website. A lot of players did things like that, and most of them were completely inane… with stuff like, “All this travel sure is difficult. Next, we have to get ready for Portland. They should be tough! Seeya next week!”

But Shirley, with a lot of free time on his hands, put some effort into it… and it was funny, smart, and colorful… and one day, Bill Simmons linked to it, it blew up in popularity, and now, Shirley’s got a book deal, and he’s writing for ESPN.com, which I believe means that he will be contractually obligated to now suck.

Anyway, his first effort for ESPN is here… the good news is that he’s already better than most of the guys on Page 2. The bad news is that… well, I dunno. I just don’t have a lot of faith in ESPN. But best of luck to Paul Shirley in finding an NBA job this year and with the book.

It’s time to find out how real the Bengals are. They’ve cruised to a 5-1 record on the Browns, Vikings, Bears, Texans, and Titans… but the competition will be stiffer than it was against any of those teams (with the possible exception of the Vikings) this Sunday as the Bengals meet the Steelers.

It’s about as big as a Week 7 game can be. Divisional rivals, one the established powerhouse, the other a young buck on the rise, in need of a solid test… I’m looking forward to it. Ben Roethlisberger will be back under center for Pittsburgh, as Bill Cowher controversially benches the ultra-successful Tommy Maddox. The Steelers top 3 WRs are listed as questionable, though.

I think it could be a pretty high-scoring game. Neither pass defense is completely stellar, while it’s a matchup of the two highest-rated QBs in the league and both teams run the ball pretty well to boot. But I thought San Diego/Pittsburgh would be a pretty high-scoring game, too, so what the hell do I know?

If likability in their respective fathead (big-ass, $150 wall stickers, if you haven’t seen them) commercials has anything to do with the game, though, I’m going with Chad Johnson over Ben. Roethlisberger seems like such a doofus in those spots. “People in TV-land? Get a fathead!” Ugh. I will get a sledgehammer, and I will use it to pound your wispy-goateed face. I bet those spots are the reason that Natalie Gulbis dumped his goofy ass.

Darko’s per-48 numbers thus far in the preseason…

17.9 points, 9.8 rebounds, 6.4 blocks, 2.1 assists.

It’s nothing mind-blowing, and of course, his foul and turnover numbers are also off-the-charts, but hey… at least he’s on the court doing something.

Josh Levin of Slate.com looks at Matt Leinart’s performance against Notre Dame, and wonders if it maybe exposed some flaws in his game that could cost him at the next level.

USC’s offense clicks because the Trojans’ dominant offensive line gives the accurate Leinart more than enough time to spot open receivers. But against Notre Dame, Leinart proved fallible when faced with a stifling, aggressive defense. With Fighting Irish defenders in the backfield all day, the short timing routes that the Trojans thrive on become ineffectual. Leinart’s savvy and toughness – as seen on his clutch, last-minute, fourth-down throw to Dwayne Jarrett – are unimpeachable. But he’s not shifty enough in the pocket to avoid taking big hits, and his arm is too weak to throw the ball over the top when he’s pressured. On Saturday, the Trojans’ most effective passing play was the screen pass to Reggie Bush. It doesn’t take a pro quarterback to dump the ball off.

Mel Kiper’s still convinced that he’s the #1 guy, though. He says his arm strength is improved from last season, and he just makes plays.

I think Leinart will be fine in the NFL. Maybe he doesn’t have Elway-like arm strength, but that’s certainly not a necessity to succeed. Nor is incredible scrambling ability… and those are both things that can be worked on and corrected. What he has done is be ultra-successful in a sophisticated offense, step up in clutch situations, and be an accurate passer to all areas of the field. A lot of guys have succeeded with lesser physical skills than those of Matt Leinart.