Courtesy of my homey Will at Deadspin, who sifted through the Smoking Gun legal documents and found the highlights, more details have emerged from the Sex Boat scandal. It’s like an early Christmas gift. I really thought it ended with the misdemeanor charges coming down yesterday. Thank the sweet Lord, there is more.

First, our friend Bryant McKinnie…

[McKinnie is witnessed] pick up a naked woman, place her on the bar in the lounge and commence to perform oral sex on her. … At a different time during the evening, [witnesses] saw Mr. McKinnie along with three other unidentified males receiving oral sex from four women while the men were seated in deck chairs on the boat.

And my personal favorite… Smoot:

Was seen holding a double-headed dildo and moving the dildo while each end was inserted into the vagina of two women who were lying on the floor near the lounge area of the charter boat. After a period of time, one of the women got up and Mr. Smoot continued to manipulate the dildo inside the other woman.

Smoot, you dildo-manipulating son of a bitch, you. I’ve gotta ask… who takes a double-headed dildo on a cruise? Let’s see… Sunblock, check. Sunglasses, check. Life preserver, check. Double-headed dildo? Check.

Personally, I’d like to think that Smoot travels with a double-headed dildo at all times… you know, just in case.

Daunte Culpepper and Moe Williams are both accused of getting lapdances, and having their hands on various parts of the “dancers.” As you might have guessed, Daunte’s more of an ass guy while Moe Williams goes for the hooters. It’s hard to be too critical of either of them… getting a lapdance isn’t the worst thing a guy can do. Of course, you’d rather it not take place in public on a fucking boat, but who am I to judge? Yesterday, I got an erotic massage at the post office.

Thank you, Vikings.

A Turkish TV station was critical of some fans’ violent behavior at a Turkish soccer game last weekend. The fans, in an effort to show that they aren’t just boorish hooligans, stormed into the television studio, while it was on the air, and scared the bejeezus out of the hosts. To their credit, they stopped short of beating the man senseless, and don’t think for a second that Santa Claus wasn’t paying attention to that good deed. They just sang their chant, terrified the hosts, and then ran like sissies when police arrived.

You can find the video here. Watch as they’re fleeing the scene… I can’t be 100% sure of it, but I think one of the dudes is wearing a shirt that says “PHILADELPHIA,” which seems oddly appropriate. Had he actually brutally stabbed and murdered the host of the show, an “OAKLAND” shirt would’ve been more appropriate. I applaud his fasion sense.

Gracias, Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer.

You know, it’s strange. Darrell Russell might be one of the most poorly-behaved Raiders of all time, but I could never bring myself to really hate him. I may have poked some fun at him, sure. But if he was a bad guy, I never felt like it was because he was a bad guy at heart, he was just a big kid who didn’t know any better.

I actually followed his career pretty closely. Guys with immense talent but major issues tend to grab my attention. That, plus the fact that the Chargers would have to deal with him twice a year made him a person of interest to me. In interviews, he seemed like he was just this big goofy guy that always wanted to joke around and be liked. He seemed naive and unassuming. Not someone it would be easy to hate. Hell, the guy once wrote an essay about a teacher he had that won her the NFL Teacher of the Year award.

He never had the strength to get off the drugs. He couldn’t control it. And it sounds like he had some influences in his life that I tend to doubt were pointing his life in a positive direction. I dunno… chances are, he did some pretty terrible things, and of course, he is to be held accountable for that, but it seemed like there was something not right about the guy. He was just never equipped to deal with the life around him.

I don’t feel like it’s a stretch to say that he had the talent to be the single most dominant defensive lineman in the game. If you were lucky enough to see him on one of the rare instances that he was ready to play, he was amazing. He had the most unbeleivable combination of power, speed, and agility. He was unblockable by one person.

He was killed, along with former USC teammate Mike Bastianelli, in a high-speed car accident that ended up with his car hitting a curb, a tree, a newsstand, a fire hydrant, a light pole, another tree, and a transit bus. Yeah, that sounds pretty high-speed to me. Good Lord.

Rest in peace, fellas. I hope Darrell gets to be the first Raider to make it into heaven.

I really don’t link to J.E. Skeets enough… or at all, I suppose. That all changes today, with his latest entry… The Journal of Stan Van Gundy’s 14-Year-Old Daughter. A snippet:

He already fired our nanny, Lorna yesterday! It was soooo bad. Alison was really upset 2 and cried and cried … Dad tried to explain 2 us that we didn’t need Lorna anymore cuz he could do all the chores now, like cleanin and cookin and doin errands. …But when Alison told him she had never seen him cook once in his life, dad got real angry and said “If he could teach Antoine fucking Walker how to pass, then he could sure as hell learn how to make God damn fajitas!!!!!”

Enjoy.