Wrong. Funny… but wrong.
Archive for January 27th, 2006
January27
Ouch.
January27
Backdoor Cuts – 01/27/06
• Sean Taylor is facing up to 46 years in prison on some aggravated assault charges. They stem from an incident back in June where Taylor’s accused of threatening three people with a gun in an armed confrontation about an ATV, which is weird enough as it is. But as his lawyer points out, the state has had the case since June, and they just now came up with these additional charges. What? Anyway, I don’t know what the odds are of him doing any real time, being a celebrity athlete and all, but 46 years kinda grabs your attention. If he’s doing that kind of time, someone spitting all over his face will be the least of his worries.
• Today’s positively worthless bit of Super Bowl news: The town of Washington, Pennsylvania has temporarily renamed itself “Steeler, Pa.” Clever, guys. Real clever. Bonus worthlessness: This article is about how the Super Bowl is shown in other countries. Ooooh, now that’s a hot lead.
• A random dude named Marc Stern, back in 1962 had tickets to a Philadelphia Warriors/New York Knicks game. A professor of his schedules an exam, and he gives his tickets away. In that game he missed, Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points. Fast forward 44 years. Same guy is a Lakers season ticket holder. He opts to attend a birthday party instead of going to a Raptors/Lakers game… and Kobe scores 81 points. This poor fuck had tickets to both legendary performances, and ended up giving them away both times. God does not like him.
• For someone who seems to dislike the media, Bode Miller is awfully quick to accept their assertions that Barry Bonds and Lance Armstrong are using steroids. “Barry Bonds and those guys are just knowingly cheating, but there’s all sorts of loopholes. If you say it has to be ‘knowingly,’ you do what Lance and all those guys do, where every morning their doctor gives them a box of pills and they don’t ask anything, they just take the pills.” I don’t know much about the career of Bode Miller, but nobody likes a snitch, pal.
• On comments: I shouldn’t even tell you this, I should just do it, but… here’s how it’s going to work. I’m going to delete anything I feel like is going to lead down a bad path. I mean, anything. I don’t even need a reason. Star Wars stories, name calling, insults, anything childish, or even just something I don’t like. I can’t stress it enough… I don’t need a reason. That’s just the way it’s going to be.
I know it’s a little bit Mussolini-ish on my part, but… I’ve put to much time and effort into this thing for it to go down the paths it was going. I’m not going to let it happen. So, I’m probably not going to get everything exactly right on what I allow and don’t allow, so be prepared for it. I’ll make mistakes, and I’m going to err on the side of deleting too much as opposed to too little… it’s sometimes hard to draw the line between something I disagree with, and something that’s just destructive. I’ll fuck it up from time to time. But damn it, we will be civil, we will have decent conversations, we will act like adults, and and a week from now, we’re all going to be holding hands and signing motherfucking kumbaya.
This is becoming an epidemic. Virginia tech basketballer Deron Washington has been suspended for kicking Duke’s Lee Melchionni in the face during last night’s game. Athletic director Jim Weaver released the following statement:
“The entire Virginia Tech community deeply regrets the actions of Deron Washington during last night’s ACC basketball game against Duke. Mr. Washington has been suspended for the upcoming game against Wake Forest. I’d also like to take the opportunity to say that I’m getting just a little bit fucking tired of our athletes KICKING PEOPLE. JESUS. What are we doing, showing them tapes of Jean Claude Van Dam before games? Is Chuck Norris our recruiting director?
Seriously. Just stop kicking people. And Washington, if you go into a McDonalds with so much as a fucking laser pointer, I will kick your ass myself. Do you hear me? I will kick your ass myself.”
Okay, I made that up.
Listen, we’ve all wanted to kick a Duke basketball player in the face from time to time. I understand. But you can’t act on it. Deron Washington and coach Seth Greenberg actually went to the Duke locker room to apologize in person after the game, which is a good thing. Hey, when he’s not kicking Lee Melchionni in the face or teabagging Jarret Jack, he might be a pretty nice guy. He also issued a pretty sincere-sounding apology today, so… a one-game suspension seems fair, and hopefully, lesson learned.
Isaiah Rider, the undisputed king of completely bizarre behavior:
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Spitting at airport personnel.
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Kicking a woman in the back at an autograph signing
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Posessing unregistered cellular phones
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And now, the coup de grace… kidnapping.
He’s a man of varied talents and interests, and I think you’ve got to respect that. I mean, anyone can get a DUI, or a gun possession charge. I mean, it’s even commonplace to slap a woman around in public anymore. But to actually kidnap someone… that’s taking your game to a whole other level. You are a standout even among fuck-ups, Isaiah Rider.
Police found Rider and the woman Thursday morning, after he drove off with her against her will on Wednesday night. Not only is she unharmed, but she’s got a hell of a story to tell. I’ll probably live my whole life and never be able to tell anyone that a former NBA slam-dunk champion kidnapped me (though I think Brent Barry’s had his eye on me for a long time). My “I was kidnapped by Isaiah Rider t-shirt” will sadly go unworn. She can display hers proudly.
Rider’s being held on $2 million bail… he also had an outstanding (I agree… outstanding!) warrant for resisting arrest in another county. He could probably afford the $2 million bail if he could’ve kept himself in the league. But if he could’ve kept himself in the league, he probably wouldn’t be kidnapping women. Vicious cycle.
One of the all-time biggest wastes of talent. Very sad.
January27
Wolves and Celtics trade junk
This just seems like the kind of trade that gets made when two GMs are sitting at a table, drunk, and in a “hey, fuck it, why not?” kind of mood. Wally Szczerbiak and Michael Olowokandi go to Boston, while Ricky Davis, Mark Blount, and Marcus Banks head to Minnesota.
Both teams need a spark. Both teams have chemistry issues. So this one’s all about moving some pieces, hoping that chemistry improves, and hoping that the guys still on the roster mesh a little bit better with the new guys.
Garnett and Szczerbiak never really liked each other, and on the court, the sum of those two was never equal to the parts. Maybe it’ll work a little bit better with Ricky Davis, who’s going to be more aggressive in creating his own shot and getting to the basket. And with Boston, maybe it’s better to add a guy who stretches the floor, as opposed to someone who does a lot of the same things that your current 2-guard does, but just not quite as well.
Also included in the deal are Mark Blount and Michael Olowokandi, both of whom are… well, tall.
It’s hard to say it’s a bad deal for either team. I’m not quite sure it’s a good one, but hey, if it’s not, they’re not going to be too much worse off than they were before. The biggest problem I have with the deal, at least from Minnesota’s standpoint is that they just gave up Szczerbiak, Olowokandi, and a first round draft pick without getting someone who could be considered a real sidekick to Kevin Garnett.
There are things I like about Ricky Davis’s game, but he’s not a star, and I doubt he’s going to develop into one at this point in his career. His numbers may spike a little bit, but when Kevin Garnett sits around and thinks about what he’d like to have next to him in Minnesota, Ricky Davis is probably not who he envisions. And the ‘Wolves pretty much gave up any chance they had to get someone better than that.
