Check out Skip’s latest Page 2 offering.  Actually, I think it may have been written by my mother, but Skip’s name appears in the byline.

How can these teams ever generate enough star power to live up to the telecast’s Oscar-worthy commercials?

No Peyton or Brady or Vick or buzz.

No rivalry or bad blood or controversy or buzz.

Only zzz.

Skip, if you like buzz… watch E!’s red carpet show or something. You like the commercials, Big Skip? Then you can go watch the game with my mother. You two can ignore the game, chat about Desperate Housewives, and then when the commercials come on, you can act like you’re seeing the moon landing.

Would [the Steelers] have finished off the season’s most shocking upset, in Indianapolis, if Colts cornerback Nick Harper hadn’t weaved back into a sprawling ankle tackle by Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger? No.

As if Roethlisberger’s tackle of Nick Harper was the play on which that game turned. Like Bettis’s fumble was completely characteristic. Like the Troy Polamalu interception call was completely normal and happenstance.

Would the Steelers have won in Denver if an early poor pass by Roethlisberger had been picked off in the flat by Champ Bailey and returned for a stadium-rocking touchdown? Probably not.

Well, that’s great and all… except, you know, that didn’t happen. If Champ Bailey was a better player, Champ Bailey would be a better player, and Denver would be a better team. But they aren’t, they didn’t make plays, Pittsburgh did, and Denver lost.

Would the Seahawks have risen from 2-2 to home-field playoff advantage if Terrell Owens hadn’t torn apart the Eagles? If Michael Vick hadn’t regressed?

Again… these things happened, and are part of the reason that Seattle was the best team in the NFC. I don’t get your point, Skip. It’s like you’re asking, “Hey, if all these things didn’t happen that made Seattle the best team in the NFC, would Seattle be the best team in the NFC? Hey, if Matt Hasselbeck woke up this morning and shoved a pineapple into his ass, wouldn’t he walk a little bit funny? And if Shaun Alexander decided at age 11 to become a ballerina, would he be in the Super Bowl right now? No. He wouldn’t. And that’s why this Super Bowl sucks.”

Strictly from a football standpoint, this matchup is pretty intriguing.

So, a professional sportwriter says that the game, from a football standpoint, is intriguing. And also that it bores him. Why are you a sportswriter then? Go host Talk Soup or something.

I usually defend you, Skip. But this… you sound like any of the millions of 45-year-old women who are going to be at “Super Bowl parties” because they want to see the commercials. Weak.