Archive for February, 2006

February28

Manute Fails To Keep Hoes In Check

By: the mighty mjd

I hope Manute kept a couple of those jockeys for his lawn.Former NBA center Manute Bol, 45, and his 27-year-old wife (nice work, Manute) have been arrested after they went to the police station to file complaints against each other. Things between them apparently got physical, though no one was hurt… which I find very easy to believe.

I think that’s a sign of a truly healthy relationship. I mean, anyone can send flowers, anyone can go see a chick flick with their lady… but how many couples do everything together, including going to the police station to file domestic abuse complaints against each other? That is true sharing. It’s so sweet.

Obviously, I have no idea who did what and who’s at fault. But I don’t know what kind of person has it in them to try and hurt Manute Bol… the guy has given everything he has, including his dignity, to relief efforts in the Sudan. He whooped Refrigerator Perry’s ass on celebrity boxing. He signed a contract to play hockey. He even did a promotional stint as a jockey… all to raise money for Sudanese refugees. It’s hard to picture him as the wife-beating type.

Posted in: Criminality, Media5 comments

February28

Huggy talking to USF?

By: the mighty mjd

USF could use a few hungover press conferences.SI.com’s Seth Davis is reporting that some boosters at South Florida are firmly affixed to the jock of Bob Huggins, trying to convince him to become the next head coach of the USF Bulls. If they have the chance, they should give him anything he wants. That would be a great hire for USF.

There’s a lot of talent in the south Florida area, and Bob Huggins is a great recruiter. Now, many of the recruits will still be put off by the fact that USF sucks, but… those are just the smarter recruits, the one who haven’t done time in prison. Bob Huggins doesn’t recruit those kids anyway. The recruits down there who were hot coming out of high school, but saw their higher education delayed because they burned their girlfriend’s house down or murdered a mailman… those guys need a place to play basketball, too. Enter Bob Huggins.

I’m not even kidding about this. USF should do everything they can to hire Bob Huggins. The Bulls went 0-14 in the Big East this year. That’s not to say that current head coach Robert McCullum did a bad job… he was in a tougher spot than maybe any other coach in the country. But if they can get Huggins, I think they should. At the very least, he’ll bring some talent, and probably some guns, into the program. You just went 0-14, USF. You’ve gotta start somewhere.

Posted in: College Hoops3 comments

February27

I Think It’s Time To Stop Storming The Court

By: the mighty mjd

A cheerleader gangbang wouldn't attract a crowd like this.It really seems like you can’t watch a college basketball game anymore without the fans rushing the court if the home team wins. It just doesn’t mean anything anymore. Beat a Top 25 team, storm the court. Beat a conference rival, storm the court. Win on ESPN, storm the court. Dick Vitale calls one of your players a PTP’er, storm the court. Cheerleader executes a back handspring, storm the court.

Listen… the players do not want to hang out with you. When Dee Brown hits a big shot and wins a close game, he is not thinking, “Man, I wish that guy in the third row with the wispy beard would come down here and jump around with me. He seems nice. It’s important I share this moment with him.”

There’s no problem if the situation is truly warranted. If you knock off the #1 team, if you pull some huge upset, fine… go buck wild. But if it’s something pretty pedestrian, keep your ass in your seat. You can jump up and down and scream there. My problem with it isn’t that it’s a safety issue (though it probably is), it’s just that the celebration has been cheapened, probably beyond repair. And most of the time, it’s not genuine fan enthusiasm, it’s people thinking it’s their opportunity to get on TV, to be cool, to do what they’re supposed to do. It’s mostly bullshit.

Posted in: College Hoops9 comments

February27

Peyton Manning’s Favorite Soccer Ref

By: the mighty mjd

I think that play was fabulous!

Check this guy out. He’s kinda like the anti-Ed Hochuli. Grazie, Sports Hooligan.

Posted in: Soccer2 comments

February27

Lance Armstrong Hosting the ESPYs

By: the mighty mjd

The face of comedy.This seems like a strange choice to me. I mean, I have nothing against Lance Armstrong… but an entertainer, he is not. A cameo in Dodgeball doesn’t qualify a guy to keep a television crowd on their toes for three hours. I saw him on Saturday Night Live, and he made Joe Montana look like Richard Pryor. Not that I care, but it’s a puzzling selection.

Last year, it was Matthew Perry… I don’t remember much about his performance, in fact, I don’t even think I watched it. The year before that, it was Jamie Foxx, who was awesome. I still remember him singing “I Want To Be Your Tennis Ball” to Serena Williams… and the fact that I remember anything at all about the ESPYs is remarkable. How do you go from Jamie Foxx to Lance Armstrong in the span of two years? Ben Stein wasn’t available? Couldn’t get John Madden to do it?

Could be a loooong night in that theatre.

Posted in: Media3 comments

February27

Bode Miller “Rocked.”

By: the mighty mjd

THAT woman is worth sacrificing a shot at a medal? I wouldn't fuck her with *your* dick.I get about half of what Bode Miller has been saying. I understand that there can be great performances that don’t result in gold medals or world championships and wins. I get that. I get that you have to live for your own expectations, and not those of other people. I get that winning and losing isn’t always everything.

But there are things I don’t get. I don’t get why it’s okay to come to the Olympics and not try your hardest to win. I don’t get why you wouldn’t train as hard as you possibly could. I don’t get why it’s a bigger goal to party with a positively frightening woman and socialize “at an Olympic level” than it is to actually put forth your best performance. I don’t get why it’s OK to take a spot on the Olympic team from someone who would’ve taken it seriously and who would’ve tried their hardest.

When you have the talent to be the best, then it is about winning. To say it isn’t is to completely cop out, to make excuses for why you don’t have to make that commitment. Bode Miller is not the Jamaican bobsled team. He’s one of the best in the world. It shouldn’t be about just being here. I believe he does have an obligation to try and win. It’s not enough to go out and “rock.” If he can’t take having that responsibility, he should quit. Give the spot to someone who will give an honest effort. Give it to someone who believes the Olympics are more than about partying.

We watch sports because we want to see winners and losers. These sports exist because we watch with the assumption that we’re going to see who’s the best. And when someone goes out there without having prepared to the best of their ability, we don’t see that. When someone goes out there who just wants to “rock,” we don’t get that. Ultimately, as sports fans, we’re sold something that we aren’t getting.

Hey, I don’t care that he didn’t win. Lots of people didn’t win. Even with all the commercials, all the headlines, the 60 Minutes, the magazine covers, etc… if he goes over there and busts his ass, and someone was better… that’s fine. I didn’t think poorly of Dan O’Brien when Reebok’s Dan and Dave campaign went bust. But I do think poorly of Bode Miller for treating the Olympics as if they were just an opportunity for him to make some Nike money and have a good time.

Posted in: Torino11 comments

February27

Kevin Garnett Savagely Attacks Fan

By: the mighty mjd

Kevin Garnett and Brad Miller, shown here yelling 'Happy Birthday' to Bonzi Wright at a surprise birthday party.Well, not really… but KG apparently did more damage with a light little flip of the basketball than Ron Artest or Stephen Jackson did when they went into the stands with fists blazing.

Garnett was called for an offensive foul in the third quarter of the Wolves game against Memphis. He threw the ball into the seats along the baseline, just a little toss, and the ball hit a fan. He didn’t spike the ball, he didn’t wind up, he just kind flicked it into the seats. The guy who was hit had to be taken out on a gurney.

I don’t know what this guy’s deal is. I mean, I’d hate to make fun of him, and then find out he’s got a medical condition, or some kind of problem… maybe he just had his nose broken or something, I dunno. But at the velocity that Kevin Garnett threw that ball, there’s no way it could do anything more than moderately sting a normal, healthy, human being. They had the dude on a stretcher… I just can’t imagine what was wrong with him. And if there is nothing wrong with him, I can’t imagine anyone being that much of a pussy. Other than Mike Modano.

Garnett’s probably looking at a suspension, too. If the guy had shrugged it off, it’s probably a technical foul and a non-story. But he didn’t… and if a fan was injured by a ball thrown by a player, the commissioner’s office almost has to suspend him, which is a shame. He obviously didn’t mean to hurt anyone, but I suppose there’s no reason to be throwing a ball into the stands anyway.

Posted in: NBA11 comments

February24

Oh, Our Spoiled American Athletes…

By: the mighty mjd

The poor man also went on numerous shopping trips with Johnny Weir, apparently...You know, our Olympic hockey team didn’t catch a lot of flak for their horrendous performance in Torino. I realize that it’s because no one cares about hockey, but still… I think it’s a little unfair that when our basketball team comes home with bronze, everyone calls them a bunch of lazy, selfish, pussbags… and no one says a word about the hockey team. And I thought about complaining that that was unfair, when I thought, instead… I could just call our hockey team a bunch of lazy, selfish, pussbags.

And so, Mike Modano… you, my friend, are pussbag numero uno. Mike had this to say after the Olympics:

“Basically, we were on our own as far as arrangements, flights, hotels, tickets. Normally, that’s something you don’t have to think about. That’s something that should be taken care of so we don’t have to worry about it and can focus on hockey and get ready to play.”

Is that really your excuse, man? You were thinking of scoring some goals, but it was too hard, because you had to call a travel agent a week ago? What the fuck? Come on, man… make up an injury or something. Say that there was poor ice in Torino. Say you had too much pasta, say you lost your lucky jock strap… but you had to make arrangements to get there? That’s your big problem? Fuck. You.

Teemu Selanne heard his excuse and responded:

“Everybody has to do it. There’s no help. Nobody had direct flights here. It’s not easy for anybody. You have jet lag and then you play six games in eight nights.”

Translation: “I did all that, too. But I’m undefeated. Why? Because I am not a pussbag like Mike Modano.”

Posted in: Hockey, Torino23 comments

February24

Backdoor Cuts – 02/24/06

By: the mighty mjd

I have a feeling this would not have been invented if it weren't for the NBA dress code...• “The women’s tournament hopes to create a buzz of its own with Selection Monday.” I’m sorry, but that’s just funny.

• HotAthletes.Org named their gold, silver, and bronze medalists of hot Olympic athletes yesterday. On the female side, Sasha Cohen took the bronze, Kari Traa the silver, and in an upset, Anni Friesinger the gold. I dunno… I don’t have a Top 3 of my own, and I really hate to spend a lot of time talking about how these incredible athletes look… but I do have some slight qualms with a couple of the selections. I mean, Sasha Cohen is a very cute girl, but, you know… I don’t think I could do it without saying to her every few minutes, “Hey, you’re not going to tell your dad, are you?” And Kari Traa… attractive woman, and worthy of a medal, but… I dunno. She just seems a little too eager to expose her vulva. You can hear the segment on Sports Bloggers Live here, or, as I’d recommend, download the entire podcast here. Also on the show are Cal Ripken Jr. and Pat Forde.

• There’s no way you can consider yourself a complete human being if you don’t own the Velvet Blazer w/Stripes on Sleeve from the Randy Moss Grabman Collection. I recommend this for job interviews.

• A little note here about how Archie Manning is a dirty cheater. An old coach of his who recently passed away heard what the Saints were originally offering Archie Manning in his first contract, and he said, “My gosh, son, he made more than that playing (at Mississippi).” Amusing little quip, or evidence that the Manning family promotes and condones illegal payments to college athletes? I say the latter.

• I’d like to direct your attention to Comment #21 here… sharp girl.

• Great story here… amazing, amazing, story. Jason McElwain, a kid with autism, tried out for the basketball team at a high school in New York, but didn’t make the team. But because he loved the game and wanted to be around it, he became a team manager, passing out Gatorade and towels and stuff. And in the last game, the coach dressed him as a reward for his hard work, with the thought that if they had a big lead, he’d put him in for a minute or two. And he did. And the kid lit it up for 20 points, going 6-of-10 from three point-land. That’s incredible… I mean, if you saw that in a movie, you’d be like, “Alright, this is just bullshit.” But it happened, and it’s awesome. Congratulations to all involved.

Posted in: Backdoor Cuts14 comments

February23

Reflecting on the Francis Trade…

By: the mighty mjd

There are two companies represented on the banner behind Isiah. He is much better suited to work for one than the other.There’s got to be more than this than we know. That’s what it has to be. I have heard rumors that the Knicks would flip Steve Francis as soon as today, and I’m thinking that has to be the case. I don’t even think Isiah Thomas is foolish enough to believe that a starting backcourt of Steve Francis and Stephon Marbury is a good idea.

So either Francis going to be shipped somewhere else by this afternoon, or they’re going to move him the summer as part of a larger package… I don’t know. What I’m doing here is not giving Isiah Thomas the benefit of the doubt. What I’m doing is refusing to believe that any one human being is that fucking ignorant. It’s a basic faith in humanity. I have to believe that no one could possibly think that playing Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis together is a viable, long-term solution for a basketball team. If I can’t believe that, then I’m not sure I want to be a part of humanity any longer.

And hey, don’t get me wrong… in the short term, the Knicks actually might get a little better. They will have more talent on the floor, and they can potentially become more difficult to guard. If they don’t pawn Francis off on someone else today, it will probably result in a few more wins for them. But they’re still not making the playoffs, and there’s still no nope of building a team around the pieces they have in place right now.

As for the Magic… this is brilliance. If, in five years, the Magic aren’t one of the league’s best teams, that probably means they hired Isiah Thomas as their general manager. In 5 years, Dwight Howard is likely to be one of the best 2 big men in the game. Jameer Nelson will be an excellent guard. And if Darko Milicic and Fran Vaseuz turn into anything at all, the Magic should have a great core. Plus, Penny’s expiring contract sets them up to be well under the cap in the summer of 2007 when there should be some quality players available.

I’ve seen people looking at this trade as the Magic getting almost nothing in return for Tracy McGrady… and I guess that’s true, but what did they expect, that Steve Francis going to win them a title? Why look at it like that? Just accept that trading for Steve Francis was dumb, be glad that the Knicks exist as the corrector of all league contract mistakes, and look at the future. Orlando’s in a great position, and that’s more than most of the mediocre teams in the league can say.

Posted in: Uncategorized11 comments

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