The day after Phil Jackson cried about officials being intimidated by the fact that Mark Cuban is so diligent in sending the league tapes detailing their performances, Cuban got off some truly masturbatory remarks in response. Some of them include…

I own Phil Jackson. Not literally of course. That thrill belongs to the smartest businesswoman in professional sports, Jeannie Buss. Figuratively however, the coach formerly known as the Zen Master must now be considered my bucket boy…

For whatever reason, I have gotten to Phil so completely and thoroughly that every time he comes to Dallas he has to offer unsolicited comments about me to the media. I wonder if he dreams about me the nights he spends here in Dallas. Ok, I don’t wonder. I’m curious about it…

Of course I dont truly believe that I own Phil. This is all tongue in cheek, but that wont prevent me from walking up to him and saying “Boo” to see if he jumps, just to find out for sure :)

Translation: “They’re talking about ME on SportsCenter! I’M ON TV! WATCH WHAT I DO NEXT! LOOK AT ME!”  And by the way, that damn smiley thing is his, not mine.
Clearly, he enjoys this. He enjoys needling Phil Jackson (who has a long history of whining about officiating… kinda like Mark Cuban, actually), he enjoys the attention, and he enjoys feeling like he’s in Phil’s head, and he does feel that way, regardless of his little disclaimer statement at the end there.