There’s just no good way for me to do this. By the time I blog about someone winning a medal, like… 12 hours have passed, and, chances are, being the internet-savvy bastard that you are, you’ve known about it for quite some time. But I’m going to pretend like none of that has happened.
Joey Cheek is a stud. I hope he gets major, major media attention in the coming days. American gold medal winners are awarded $25,000 from the USOC, and Cheek, after having won gold in the 500m speedskating, is giving all of it, every single penny, to refugees in Darfur.
I caught some curling yesterday, and I gotta tell ya… curling makes the Nordic Combined look like a perfectly natural and reasonable sport. I don’t know who dreamed this thing up. Someone, somewhere, said to themselves… “It would be cool if there were a long patch of ice, and we created some ridiculous thing that looked like a a couple of woks welded together with a handle glued on top, and a we pushed it down the ice and had a couple of dudes running in front of it, each of them furiously manipulating their Swiffer WetJet, and they swept in front of the ice and tried to knock the other guy’s wok contraption of a couple of big blue circles, which were painted on the ice earlier.” I don’t understand it, I don’t know why it exists… but as I’ve said, once every four years, I can get behind it. Especially the young American curling sisters pictured above, who can certainly curl my toes anytime.
Also, Hannah Teter and Gretchen Bleiler took gold and silver for America in the women’s halfpipe. Hannah Teter is my second favorite X Games athlete of all time, with #1 being Roach from Next Friday. To tell you the truth, the X Games people are some of the most likable people at the Olympics. Shaun White just seems like a down-to-earth and fun guy.
I’ve got this idea in the back of my head that, with all the sex going on in the Olympic Village… that somehow, somewhere, the paths of Shaun White and Grandma Luge will cross, and we will have a modern-day Harold and Maude story. That would be the greatest story to ever occur in Olympic history.
tony Says:
February 14th, 2006 at 12:54 am
Olympic curling is different. There’s supposed to be beer involved. I can be proud to say I earned college credit for a curling class.
Unfortunately, the curling sisters weren’t in said class. Yowza!!!
Although at work today, I noticed a story about the curling girls, got all giddy, then found out one of them is engaged, and was let down. Am I the only guy that does that? I mean, unless her man is gonna come into my living room and give me a beat down for oogling his woman through the TV, why does it matter?
And how did MTV/ESPN2 sneak snowboarding and freestyle skiing past the IOC?
japers Says:
February 14th, 2006 at 6:04 am
Did anyone notice that CNBC’s live morning coverage seemed to have the Third Eye Blind self titled cd stuck in the interlude music player. I swear they just played the intro to every song on the cd in a row.
On another note, Tony is right about a little part of me dying when I am told a hot female athelete is married. It may be inconsequential, but it still hurts.
Brandon Says:
February 14th, 2006 at 10:28 am
I just watched two minutes of the US v. New Zealand curling matchup and heard these two gems from the announcers:
American announcer: Some crap about curling strategy I wasn’t paying attention to.
Canadian announcer: Oh (American announcer’s name), you give me more wisdom than a tree full of owls.
American announcer: Who?
And then, after the Yanks knocked the Kiwis’ double wok contraption out of the bullseye…
American announcer: And that’s 10-4. If this were a club match, they’d be heading inside for a drink right now.
I think curling is something I could get behind all the time.
King Dan Says:
February 14th, 2006 at 10:36 am
I walked in just in time to see the replay of the Chinese woman fall in the pairs skating. Not only did she fall, she wiped the fuck out. If she was a man, she would have crushed her balls on the ice. So you would think that ruins their chances. Not so. They gave them the silver medal. I’m not going to lie and say I saw any other pairs, but at least three pairs had to skate and not fall down. My girl friend justified it by saying they were trying something that had never been completed in competition. If you can’t do the trick, don’t try it. It’s like trying a crazy ass dunk at the dunk contest, missing, and still getting credit because you tried hard. What bullshit. I’m done with the olympics.
patricio Says:
February 14th, 2006 at 11:47 am
Where’s the biathlon coverage? If you’re going to cover things as obscure as curling, you must cover the biathlon. And don’t worry, Bode will redeem himself. He just hadn’t drank enough before th DH.
Doc Lewis Says:
November 27th, 2006 at 1:38 am
“I think curling is something I could get behind all the time.”
I think the sister on the right in that picture is something I could get behind all the time.