Bode Miller is now 0-for-the Olympics, failing to medal in his 4th event. He’s only got one left, and it’s said to be his weakest event, which is kind of hard to imagine. He finished sixth in the giant slalom, which, don’t get me wrong, makes him a pretty bad motherfucker. But if you’re going to make yourself a human headline machine, it’d be nice if you bothered to win a medal on the world’s biggest stage.
“One of the good things about my career is I have such extensive knowledge, so I always go as hard as I can. Some guys can go 70-80 percent and get results, but I wouldn’t do that. If things went well, I could be sitting on four medals, maybe all of them gold.”
You know, if things went well for Scott Norwood, he’d be a Super Bowl champion right now. If things went well for Craigh Ehlo, Michael Jordan wouldn’t have buried a jumper in his grill. A lot of things could’ve gone a lot of ways… but you’ve had four chances at it, chief, and not once has it gone well.
I’m trying to understand the guy, but I’m just not getting it. I don’t understand the part about not being disappointed when you lose. He says things like, oh, kids shouldn’t get down on themselves for not winning, for not being the best, it’s all about fulfilling their potential… and I get that. That’s great. But then he goes out, clearly comes up way short of his potential, and that’s okay?
I don’t get it. I’d like to like the guy, but I can’t… maybe one of you who has joined Bode can help explain things to me. But for now, I’m not going to Join Bode. But Bode can feel free join me in the Guys Who Didn’t Win Medals In Torino Club, as I suspect he will when he fails to medal in his 5th and final event.
Keith Says:
February 20th, 2006 at 11:36 pm
MJD,
If you haven’t I’d suggest reading the feature on Bode in ESPN the Mag last month.
While it didn’t make me like the guy, it did help me understand how he has ended up this way. His family is even troubled with the recent road he has done down.
Tony Says:
February 20th, 2006 at 11:40 pm
This brings back shades of the failed Reebok attempt of “Dan vs. Dave” for the ‘92 Summer Olympics in Barcelona. And one of those shoe-tongue-pumpin’-buttholes did not even qualify for the Olympics!
Yes, at least Bode made the Olympics. Why all the hype? “Join Bode?” Do what? Party ’til the early hours in Torino?
VTHokie01 Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 12:26 am
Personally MJD, I agree 100% with Gumbel, and your boy Will at Deadspin. Just because you throw some crazy-ass pseudo-sports together that require cold weather doesn’t necessarily make them olympian.
I’m not a huge Hockey fan, I’ve seen some games live, and that’s a bad-ass sport, especially if you know the folks playing. But that’s about the only thing that comes close to sport in the “Winter Olympics.” Luge, Bobsled, Speed skating, skiing, curling - all of those are the dumbest, most boring things I could ever imagine watching on TV. I would rather watch re-runs of Gilligan’s Island than any of that shit.
On the other hand, Snowboarding is cool, but let’s be real - that shit ain’t a sport. If Snowboarding’s a sport, then you have to allow Skateboarding and Surfing in the summer games, and we all know that’s not happening. Those kind of things are more stunt-like, in my opinion. Should we have Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O and Pontius ride a fold-out ladder on skis down a slope? That’s some good TV right thur.
And let’s not even get into “figure skating.” I personally believe no one should ever be allowed to figure skate ever again. If I could, I would impose a worldwide moratorium on figure skating, ice dancing, and anything that requires sequined outfits.
Brandon Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 12:50 am
I just want to go to bat for the biathletes. Never has a more practical sport, save maybe lawn darting, existed. I mean, they ski for awhile, then they shoot shit. These are real-world skills that could either save your life, or ensure the success of your raid on a Norwegian ice palace. You think Bryant Gumbel could successfully attack an ice palace? I don’t think GREG Gumbel could pull of that slick feat.
Andy Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 1:32 am
I don’t know. I agree with Hokie about the sequin issue, but I’ve got to dissent on the Winter Olympics bashing. I mean, skeleton requires people to balance on little boards the size of cracker boxes and fly down a slope at a zillion mph. Then there’s the ski jump, which involves having a psycho jump off a freaking mountain. Somewhere in my brain I realize that these people are not going to die in a horrible accident, but at the time no other outcome seems likely. Sure, these events may not be sports per se, but they are at least entertaining.
Figure skating could benefit from the absence of that stupid artsy “program” score, and the addition of a special head-to-head tournament, where two skaters try to outjump and outspin each other until one collapses, with the winners advancing until a champion is crowned.
Also, in the summer games, the highlights are people jumping into water, and other people running. The skeet shooters and the archers don’t even have to hack their way through a jungle or anything before shooting their targets. I’ll take the cold version of the Olympics over that any time.
Bouj Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 1:44 am
Bode is the White Freddie Mitchell.
VTHokie01 Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 1:52 am
As a result of my Ricky Williamsish short term memory, I neglected to tidy everything back up into the main point, which is: Bode Miller is indeed a giant douche, but we shouldn’t get all crazy about it, because it’s not like he’s a real olympian. He’s more like an x-gamer. AND, for all those shit-talkers, keep your fucking mouths shut until AFTER you win the NCAA Championship, Super Bowl, NBA Finals (Unless you’re Sheed, then it’s okay) or whatever. And don’t talk shit to Steve Smith before the game, under any circustances.
Dan O'Brien & Dave Johnson Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 2:58 am
We disagree. Bode Miller is neither overhyped nor overrated. We think he’s an outstanding and world-class athlete.
-Dan & Dave
The Big Picture Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 3:26 am
bode just needs to drink more everclear and less beer.
DookieStyle Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 5:55 am
Hokie,
Ever ride a snowboard?
Todd Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 6:36 am
Bode is the White Freddie Mitchell. . .
I will be laughing about that the whole day.
TJ Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 8:17 am
If Bode is Giant Douche, who is Turd Sandwich? Apolo Anton Ohno?
Mr. Bojangles Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 8:57 am
In other Olympic news, Bode Miller’s marketing squadron receive the Gold Medal in the Much Ado About Nothing category. Silver goes to Michelle Kwan’s publicist, who, sadly, deserves better, since Michelle probably could have backed up her endless wave of publicity with actual skill and class prior to her injury.
Moonshine Mike Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 9:32 am
I think all the snowboarders should be forced to wear sequin gowns designed by johnny weir. that will make them decide if they want to call it a sport.
Keith Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 9:58 am
Although it doesn’t get much publicity in the US, Bode’s overall World Cup title he won last year is arguably a bigger deal in the world of skiing. It’s not like he got this hype without being (at the time) the best at what he does.
VTHokie01 Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 12:20 pm
Lukie dookie style,
Yes, I have ridden a snowboard. I used to own a Burton custom 152, but a gnarly compounded left radius/ulna forced me to give up riding and sell the board. And I still don’t consider snowboarding a sport.
BobLoblaw Says:
February 21st, 2006 at 4:11 pm
Bode? Hell, I’m still looking for Andy’s Mojo.