You know, our Olympic hockey team didn’t catch a lot of flak for their horrendous performance in Torino. I realize that it’s because no one cares about hockey, but still… I think it’s a little unfair that when our basketball team comes home with bronze, everyone calls them a bunch of lazy, selfish, pussbags… and no one says a word about the hockey team. And I thought about complaining that that was unfair, when I thought, instead… I could just call our hockey team a bunch of lazy, selfish, pussbags.
And so, Mike Modano… you, my friend, are pussbag numero uno. Mike had this to say after the Olympics:
“Basically, we were on our own as far as arrangements, flights, hotels, tickets. Normally, that’s something you don’t have to think about. That’s something that should be taken care of so we don’t have to worry about it and can focus on hockey and get ready to play.”
Is that really your excuse, man? You were thinking of scoring some goals, but it was too hard, because you had to call a travel agent a week ago? What the fuck? Come on, man… make up an injury or something. Say that there was poor ice in Torino. Say you had too much pasta, say you lost your lucky jock strap… but you had to make arrangements to get there? That’s your big problem? Fuck. You.
Teemu Selanne heard his excuse and responded:
“Everybody has to do it. There’s no help. Nobody had direct flights here. It’s not easy for anybody. You have jet lag and then you play six games in eight nights.”
Translation: “I did all that, too. But I’m undefeated. Why? Because I am not a pussbag like Mike Modano.”