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Randy Moss To Agent: You Are My Ambassador Of Crack, Man
March 16th, 2006

You know what dog food tastes like? Do you? It tastes just like it smells... DELICIOUS.You know, it probably wasn’t easy for Louis DiTrapano. He was probably sitting around one night, thinking to himself, “Hm. What could I do to help improve my client Randy Moss’s image? I wish there was a way that I could contrast his behavior with someone else’s, so people would see that he’s not a bad guy.”

And then it hit him. He would get arrested with his wife for possession of crack.

That’s what happened yesterday in St. Petersburg, Florida. DiTrapano, his wife, and three other people were arrested at a hotel for possession of the rock after someone complained about a disturbance. Officers report finding evidence of crack in the rooms “and on DiTrapano’s person.”

That’s not good. I mean, there are a lot of agents out there to choose from. It seems like you could find one who isn’t a crackhead. Drew Rosenhaus, for all of his faults, probably does not smoke his breakfast. Master P, despite negotiating the worst contract in the history of sports, does not list crack among his favorite food groups. It just seems like there were better choices to be made here.

Anyway… I’m trying not to presume guilt. The three people he was arrested with have long drug histories, maybe it was all theirs. Or maybe Randy Moss hired Tyrone Biggums to be his agent. Best of luck to all involved.

Chest pound to the sancarloskid of The Sports Frog’s Swamp, the finest message board of its kind.



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4 Responses to “Randy Moss To Agent: You Are My Ambassador Of Crack, Man”

  1. deltron Says:

    “he’s not a bad gay.”? Is there something you know about Randy Moss you’re not telling us?




  2. the mighty mjd Says:

    Freudian slip, I suppose.




  3. Brandon Says:

    I love crack. I like to sprinkle rocks into my grape nuts and microwave it for 85 seconds. Crack Nuts.




  4. The Big Picture Says:

    he should hang out with those crackheads from the tennessee basketball team.




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