Do Not Fuck With Roy Halladay and A.J. Burnett

Also, they forced them at gunpoint to actually have sex in the back of this car.Aaron Hill and Russ Adams, infielders for the Toronto Blue Jays, noticed that pitchers Roy Halladay was spending a lot of time with A.J. Burnett, his new training partner. So Hill and Adams had them a couple of t-shirts printed up with Burnett’s and Halladay’s pictures on them, and under the pictures were the words “Brokeback Mound.”

That’s not bad. I think the Brokeback Mountain jokes have pretty much run their course, but… you that’s not bad for a couple of Toronto relief pitchers. But it pales in comparison to the revenge had by Halladay and Burnett.

Step 1: Halladay and Burnett hired a plane to fly over the field before a game with a sign that read, “Aaron, will you marry me? I love you. Russ.”

Step 2: They arranged for Hill and Adams to be married. Really. They decorated the clubhouse with wedding decorations, hired a caterer, a DJ, a videographer, had wedding gifts and everything. Hill’s car had blue and white balloons all over it, with signs, including one that said, “Watch us turn two later tonight.”

Step 3: During a game against the Phillies yesterday, a plane flew overhead that said, “Congratulations, Aaron and Russ.”

I might have a new favorite baseball team.

Matthew J. Darnell


  1. Hill and Adams the Jays starting 2nd baseman and Shortstop, not relief pitchers. This also explains the “Watch us turn two later tonight” joke. Le(Roy) Halladay and Allan James Burnett aren’t just good starters, they’re also very clever at baseball-centric sexual innuendos.

  2. I wish I had enough disposable income that I could throw a mock wedding.

  3. Nice find. Good lesson to learn here. If you’re gonna mess with someone, better make sure they don’t have 20 mil (this year alone) at their disposal for revenge.

  4. I dunno why I had “relief pitchers” there… I had identified them as infielders just a couple of sentences above.

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