My advice to owners of any convenience stores that happen to be near Camden Yards in Baltimore… stock up on the profylactics. Anna Benson owes some nay-nay to a lot of Orioles employees, and some of them are probably going to want to strap up twice.
Kris Benson has evidently cheated on her. That’s what she’s saying, anyway… and this seems like a lot less fun now. In case you’ve forgotten, or haven’t been sufficiently reminded in the past few hours… Anna once vowed to fuck all of Kris’s teammates if he ever cheated on her.
“I told him, ‘Cheat on me all you want.’ If you get caught, I’m going to [have sex with] everybody on your entire team,” she told Howard Stern on his radio show in 2004. “Everyone would get a turn.”
This was better when Kris was a normal, average, dude, and Anna was the crazy, attention-starved, loathsome whorebag. But if he’s the one cheating on her… well, that makes him the douchebag. I don’t care how crazy she is, you married her, dude. That locks you in. They are now co-douchebags… and as irritating as I find this woman, he’s the bigger douche. And yhere are no winners when douchebags marry each other.
One other little note from the article…
Anna Benson’s lawyer filed the divorce papers yesterday in Atlanta, where the couple has a home.
The papers say the seven-year marriage is “irretrievably broken,” and does not mention what a source called the X-rated real reason for the breakup.
“We chose not to go that route at this point,” said Jeffrey Bogart, her lawyer.
What? Why wouldn’t they go that route? Restraint and discretion do not seem like the Anna Benson route to go… you know this is coming out sooner or later. If it was something that Anna Benson was reluctant to talk about in public, Kris Benson was doing something real freaky. There may be a young woman near Baltimore’s spring training camp who has some Louisville Slugger splinters in a sensitive area.
adam Says:
March 31st, 2006 at 4:13 pm
If there’s a pre-nup there’s a decent chance there’s some kind of faithfulness clause. While I don’t want to just assume she’s not telling the truth…she is crazy, and if you’re going to pick something to lie about, it might as well be soemthing that can make you millions of dollars. Of course, if you commit to a version of your “he cheated on me” story in the inital paperwork filing, you might end up stuck with it. It may have been a tactical choice to leave the specifics out of any sworn documents and instead float a vague story to the media.
Of course, Kris might have actually done it in which case you are right that he’s a giant douche. Hard to tell at this point.
Insomniac Says:
March 31st, 2006 at 5:09 pm
Why would anyone believe a single word to come out of that chick’s mouth? Maybe when people were getting a lapdance from her and she’d tell them, “Oh you’re soooo big,” I could see some motivation for wanting to believe her lies. But now? Anna, just shut up and go away.
The Big Picture Says:
March 31st, 2006 at 10:24 pm
Mr. Met is probably buying some condoms right about now
CheeseheadPete Says:
April 2nd, 2006 at 2:31 am
Er, Lots of places one can go with this one. Leo Mazzones rocking exercises should come in handy. No sloppy seconds for da coaches eh?
Brandon J Says:
April 2nd, 2006 at 4:57 am
reality show… guaran f’ing teed
henninka Says:
April 3rd, 2006 at 11:50 am
She said on Howard Stern that there was no prenuptual agreement between them.