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UCLA Cheerleaders Find Joakim Noah Unattractive

I really love the way Kristen here supports the pyramid.  She really becomes the pyramid.Stumbled upon this today…

During last night’s game, UCLA cheerleaders were talking shit to Joakim Noah about his unsightly grill.

“I mean, it hurts when you have beautiful girls out there just telling you how ugly you are and stuff. I just had to focus on the game. When somebody is screaming all that stuff at you, you know, the best thing I could do was just blow a kiss by and maybe they like me.”

I just have a problem with cheerleaders talking smack… I mean… seen and not heard, bitch, you know? You’re a cheerleader. You shouldn’t B-E so aggressive. I realize that this is going to sound sexist as hell, but… these are my views of cheerleaders, not women.

Cheerleaders are there to be ogled. That’s just the way it is. They do not actually lead cheers. They do not get players fired up. They do not get fans fired up. I know they work hard at what they do, and that’s great… but there’s not one person in that arena who gives a fuck about the crispness of their routines or the creativity of their choreography. They’re just there… and they wouldn’t be there if they looked like Janet Reno (who, don’t get me wrong, is a handsome woman). But they don’t serve any kind of a real purpose, and I wish it wasn’t that way, but it is.

So I have a problem with them talking shit to an active participant in the game. I loved Noah’s response, and I think he’s got a great attitude, but I think he should’ve said something more like, “You know what, toots, in a year or two, I’ll be making $4 million a year in the NBA. A few years after that, I could be making $17 million a year. What’s your boyfriend going to be doing? Oh, date-raping you again and then letting you cry yourself to sleep? Yeah, that sounds great, too. Now get the fuck out of the way, whore.”

But maybe that’s just me.

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Matthew J. Darnell

42 Comments

  1. i watched him do that during the game (blow them a kiss and wink at them) and i thought he was an ass for thinking he was now cool enough to even flirt with the cheerleaders during the game! but then i read that they called him ugly and i was fired up (in his favor that is) that he did that to those floosies. i mean, they are cheerleaders, they wouldnt even be at that game if it wasnt for him (u know, the ballplayers that compete in the games they cheer for)…so i told one of my friends he is gonna be in the nba next year (if he is smart) and could buy that cheerleader and her family! not exactly the date raping boyfriend line u came up with mjd, but close!
    while i will stop short of calling them whores, i do hope that one of them gets a football to the nose (ala marsha brady in the brady bunch) and she has to go through life with a crunched nose…and then see how she feels! this increase jo noah stock in my book!

  2. I can’t imagine that being called ugly really affects Jo Noah. He’s certainly heard that his entire life. So cut the “It hurts” crap, Jo. Can’t you wait until you’re in the league before you try to play the media?

  3. I frequently read your blog and you do a great job, but I have to believe that you’re bigger than thinking it’s funny to make light of date-rape and calling cheerleaders whores.

    Think hard about your statement: “these are my views of cheerleaders, not women.” Last time I checked, just because you are a cheerleader doesn’t mean you aren’t a woman any more.

    Noah’s blown kiss to the UCLA cheerleaders and the trash talk back and court between him and the cheerleaders was funny as hell. Making a joke about date-rape and whores isn’t.

  4. MJD you sexist!!! Next time make fun of kiddie porn,or government officials hanging out in childrens chat room. How dare you make fun of cheerleaders.

    When Noahs making his millions those cheerleaders will probably be fighting over lapdance tips. When they’re not downing “roofie” enhanced penis-coladas.

  5. No, MJD is right about cheerleaders. No one gives a care about them until they A: Fall on their head and are doing routines as they are carted off on a stretcher, or B: Having sex in a bathroom stall until some troll hag ruins the fun. Cheerleaders are like offensive linemen in the sense that they don’t get attention until they screw up. But that’s the only similarity. Cheerleaders may take part in athletic competitions, but there is nothing about their uniforms, their routines, or the surrepticious way they are selected for the squad that isn’t laden with sexual overtones.

  6. The universe shows a little balance–a hot college cheerleader can be a bitch and still find men to have sex with her if she wants, and an good college basketball player can be ugly and still find women to have sex with him if he wants.

  7. As a former cheerleader myself,I agree with MJD and will take it a step farther — it’s somewhat “unprofessional” to do that to an opposing player. Granted, I quit cheerleading to spend more time playing basketball, so I’m probably not the cheerleading expert, but I can almost guarantee that any of my old coaches would have reamed us out for pulling something like that. He is…unattractive…but it crosses the line to heckle opposing players. Just do the damn cheers.

  8. Noah is one of the most annoying players I’ve seen step on a basketball court.

    Why is he always opening his mouth and roaring like a freakin tiger?

    And it doesn’t stop there, this clown jumps on top of the table after the game and yells to the crowd while motioning to the Florida enblem on his jersey. Followed by more roaring. (look at me look at me syndrome) Noah has a phony aura and it would not surprise me if he preplaned this entire egotistical charade.

    This kid is just a punk 7ft cliche. Once drafted he will become even more annoying. You can bet he starts wearing a headband, roars everytime he dunks even in blowout losses, and forms a rap duo with fellow studio gangster Chris Webber. Phony bastards.

  9. “and an good college basketball player can be ugly and still find women to have sex with him if he wants.”

    WHO WANTS TO SEX MUTOMBO?

  10. Don’t forget his quote after the game when he told his professors that they shouldn’t worry if he doesn’t do his homework for the next couple of weeks. That should be the NCAA’s next “going pro in something else” commercial. Going pro in leisure management.

  11. Cheerleaders will always let you down. Always.

    That said, we should have a contest between Joakim Noah and Adam Morrison. Who’s uglier? Who’s more annoying? Who plays better ball? Inquiring bloggers want to know…

  12. Personally I think it’s pretty awesome that a cheerleader would go so far as to actually heckle one of the opposing players, at least it shows that they’re actually into the game. Here at Iowa the cheerleaders always seem bored and disintrested (although they’re also pretty damn hot for the most part, so I let it slide). Also, I mean…Noah IS really ugly.

  13. Any ugly contest in college basketball begins and ends with Kevin Pittsnogle.

  14. Here’s the question: How the hell did Noah end up being so ugly? I mean….Yannick is a good looking guy…and his mom is a former Ms. Sweden. Talk about having the genetic odds in your favor. And he still manages to end up looking like that? Talk about a million to one shot.

  15. Noah is the type of player that has fun on the court. If you remember during the first round he blew a kiss to the UW-Milw band cause they were giving him crap too.

    He also was singing “2 becomes 1″, a Spice Girls hit, after the Villanova game. What crazy person would do that?

    Well since the cheerleaders were talking smack, when they shouldn’t, they should have lost. Just to shut them up.

  16. Obvioulsy, UCLAs basketball skill is not to par with champions and it’s sad that a great school like UCLA creeps down to the bowels of cowardness, stupidity, arrogance and other malignant words I can’t think of to challenge their opposition. This is basketball, all these biotches are good for is some eye candy and their routines in college usually blow. Get some polls out there and dance around them- they do it at my gym. UCLA has definitely shown that they are complete, all-around LOSERS!

  17. I like my cheerleaders to be for their team only (kind of like Dicky V. and Duke) with no negativity to the other players. That’s no different than a lane violation or a guy on the bench shouting when an opponent shoots a 3 near them. They don’t play any fucking D, so how are players supposed to react? They don’t pay a cent to get in so they don’t get that precious fan’s right either. It’s not like they do anything substantial anyways. Anybody know what “pro” cheerleaders make? It’s shit $. Because there’s always another hot-box around the corner with a little rythm and a kick ass body who will look good from 50 feet away.

  18. Cheerleaders should act like they do during Debbie Does Dallas.

  19. The picture of the cheerleader MJD posted is mad fine. I don’t care what she called me so long as I got to bang that.

    Holy shit!

  20. Ok- …fun blog- love the gators, of course, as a UF grad…and love Noah- I think he’s got a certain… je ne sais quois. I think he handled the girls in a charming manner. As to carrying on after games- give the kid a break! He’s what, 20? Not exactly the height of maturity! Anyway, from a pretty girl (more so than the cheerleader pictured on this page- woof, try braces honey…), I find Noah eye candy. It’s great to be a Florida Gator!!!!

  21. i think joakim is good looking n thers nothing ugly about him at all!

  22. i COMPLETELY agree with #24 – definitely has that certain je ne sais quois, and droolworthy eye candy to boot. his girlfriend is one lucky lady, that’s all i have to say.

  23. r u sure joakim noah has a girlfriend? If so i she pretty? If she is pretty do you think he got her only because of his status and not because he’s a nice person? i have to admit i am a little shocked . he’s not ugly i can see potential but he’s no will smith either.

  24. hey, i would like to make a retraction of my earlier statements .i don’t think he has a girlfriend just beacuase of his status. i was a little embarressed to admit that i’m a fan because of the way you guys beat him up so bad. i do think that he’s cute 1-10 i’ll give him a 7 with braces and some teeth whitening an 8. cut the boy some slack, and it’s super sexy that he knows so much . maybe you could learn a thing or two. i’m still shocked that he has a girlfriend but not because of his looks but because he acts so silly i’m a very silly person and sometimes people just don’t like that. so i apologize joakim wherever you r .ya’ll r just mean asses and what the hell was up with the comment about date rape and “roofied” penis coladas.

  25. I’m real late on this, but I want to give my two cents to the four or five people who will still read it anyway.

    1). I’m a heterosexual male, so maybe that’s why I don’t get it but…I’m kind of scratching my head at this consensus that Noah is fugly. The gap teeth aren’t pretty but I don’t know…the hair is kinda cool, and he looks pretty average besides that?

    2). I’m SHOCKED no one mentioned (UCLA center) Lorenzo Mata. Now THAT mother is UGLY, so really the UCLA cheerleaders can’t say anything.

  26. I don’t know what people r talkin bout joakim noah is so fine. i promise i met him i would jump on him and kiss him. h eis dope so get off his case. i love Joakim Noah. if you r reading this email me. toothick4u101@yahoo.com. i love u boo.

  27. You guys are morons. joakim is thougthful(he helped after Katrina and had the team see Hotel Rwanda and Far. 9/11), he is wellspoken(speaks 3 languages) cultural and worldly….plus he stomps ass on the court….he is not taunting(like Miami players) he is not being a thug(like UConn players) he is just getting fired up. He pointed to the florida emblem on his jersey and did the chomp…not himself.

  28. You guys, who are you kidding???

    Noah is ugly as hell…him and mata should battle it out for the ugly award given to the ugliest athlete in NCAA sports…But Noah would win hands down…

    BUT, you should KNOW THE WHOLE STORY before you say anything…

    I like Noah and admit he is one hell of an athlete. But I was there at the game.

    Noah was walking around before game time telling the UCLA male cheerleaders that they would never get any ass and that the UCLA female cheerleaders should meet up with him after the game. He was also calling them queers and what not. So, he deserved it…

    But at least the Gators won!!!

  29. I can’t believe you all think he is unattractive. I, like you, thought that he was quite full of himself when he blew the kiss, but so wanted to be at the other end of it. He is hot to me. Young, long, and sexy. Huh, she wishes,if not now, she will! He is a cutie and I am sure he has a rack of Gator girls that would agree with this former GA girl! GO ‘HEAD BOY, GO ‘HEAD GET DOWN! He rocked the court and showed that floosie what mattered. DANCER GIRL or an intelligent well rounded kid doing the DAMN thing. Look who’s laughing now. BTW – she wasn’t so hot with her patty cake face – trying to cover pimples no doubt.

  30. I AM NOT EVEN A BASKETBALL FAN BUT WATCHING THIS YEAR WITH SOME GATORS FANS MAY HAVE CHANGED MY MIND. NOAH IS FINE AND THE BEST PLAYER, I MIGHT EVEN GO TO A FEW GAMES NEXT YEAR. FROM WHAT I’VE LEARNED OF HIM HE IS A GOOD PERSON. I WOULD DO ALMOST ANYTHING TO TELL HIM IN PERSON DON’T EVEN HEAR THOSE NASTY BITCHES AND KEEP ON CHOMPIN WITH YOUR FINE ASS!!!

  31. Most of you people obviously do not come from Florida. Down here an average to athletic clean cut guy is at a disadvantage to all the foreign guys. Females down here love the foreign guys. This coming from a straight guy,-ugly or not-Joakim is obviously secure in his manhood if he can be caught on national TV singing a spice girls song. Confidence is the number one aphrodisiac. I bet after the game,-the same fucking D girls from UCLA that gave him a hard time,-were probably fighting over who got to suck his cock first.
    For any of you low grade hoes that bothered to disrespect a fellow Gator,-I rather go home and jerk-off than mess with any of you sheltered minor league in the game, head up your ass worthless cunts. Come on down to Florida and woman than thinks shes a 9 will drop to a 7 in a hurry. I see so many attractive females in Gainesville on a daily basis,-that I will never be overly intimidated or impressed by any woman from North of the Mason Dixon line-or West of the Mississippi. Oh yeah, and football-we are on our way back. Florida,-the state with the best athletes. We are ready for war…

  32. That cheerleader in the picture is hot. That was fucked up calling him ugly though. But J.K. Noah will have the last laugh: After this season he’s going pro and will be an instant millionaire.

  33. First off I want to just say this to all of the haters who are trying to clown Joakim Noah, GET OFF OF HIS DICK!!!!!!!!!! Evidently yall must have him on yall mids alot since you made a whole blog about him. Who cares what he did to the chearleaders, actually he’s better than me, cause I would have hit them in the face with the ball. Joakim is the sexiest player on the Gators, dont be mad cause yall people aint rich. There is absolutely nothing wrong with Noah, and if I had the chance to be his girlfriend I would love every aspect of him and I do mean every single one.

    DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT HE IS ONE OF THE BEST COLLEGE BASKETBALL PLAYERS!!!!!!!!!!

  34. So who is the biggest stud at Florida. Is it the cute, clean cut, All American, christian conservative QB,Tim Tebow. Or is it the huge, more ethnic,outgowing, liberal basketball stud Joakim Noah?

    I like Tim he is that cute “boy next door” type. But Joakim is so hot and i could imagine the sex with him would be hottter than with Tim.

    So who bags more cheerleaders the cute Qb or the basketball stud?

  35. I find Joakim Noah very sexy. I love the hair, the high cheekbones, the height, and the passion he brings to the game. I do find him to be goofy and immature, but do boys every really grow up? LOL

  36. He IS ugly…especially with that crappy lookin’ hairdo…wonder what the hell is crawlin’ around in there?

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