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Beavers Forced To Lay Motionless

Come on... you KNOW you just wanna lean your head down and go to work.Tragedy has struck on the Oregon State campus… they are discontinuing their cheerleading team. The administration has decided that the risk for injury (and thus, financial liability) is too high, and the Beavers will cheerlead no more.

Well, that’s just great. Who is the star quarterback supposed to fuck now?

You know, if it was any other university, I wouldn’t complain. But look at the dedication here. The girl in the right so strongly believes in the Beavers that she is about to show the world how delicious and enjoyable a Beaver can be. How can you not support that?

There may be some kind of a cheer squad next season at Oregon State that has people on the sidelines in khakis and sweaters, holding signs and actually, get this, leading cheers. I think that’s the wrong way to go. I understand the risk of injury thing, but that’s no reason to start covering up skin. You can still give the people want they want, and here’s my suggestion:

Put up a pole.

There’s no injury risk there unless you lick it when it’s too cold outside. And the girls can still give the people what they came to see, they can lead cheers just as effectively, and perhaps they’ll go home with a few extra ones in their pocket. Or g-string.

But I am, on a slightly serious note, sorry for the Oregon State cheerleaders. They work hard at what they do, they take pride in it, and now it’s gone. There’s just as much value in working hard at being a cheerleader as there is working hard at football, or soccer, or chess. This has gotta be a bitter disappointment for them.

So let’s get these girls a pole.

Otherwise, how is this young lady supposed to continue showing off her team’s mascot?

Hey, niiiice beaver.  Thanks, I just had it stuffed.
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Matthew J. Darnell

12 Comments

  1. Maybe they oughtta discontinue Football, basketball, baseball, lacrosse, and swimming as well.

  2. Classes too. I remember one time I was walking to my history class and I tripped and skinned my knee really bad.

  3. I need to see the face on the one in the second pic with he shirt pulled up. Go Beavers!

  4. Generally speaking, most of the hot chicks are on the dance team, whereas the cheer team sports a more athletic, albeit less attractive group. USC for example, doesn’t have a competitive female cheer team. Their hotties are known as “song girls.”

    The only major loss encountered by the casual fan is that we will no longer have the standard upskirt shot of a cheer chick standing on the shoulders of some metrosexual dude.

  5. Most of the those cheer dudes would destroy you Insomniac…those guys are freakin’ enormous. I agree though, the upskirt shot will be missed most.

    Although, at our school, the dance team girls were definitely less attractive than the cheer babes. But, more likely put out.

  6. “Put up a pole”

    I think I added this recomendation after the UCLA floozies post. Worthless cheerleading needs to step it up and get a little skin out there. Even the Lingerie Bowl hit the nail on the head. Instead of running pee-wee leagues out on football fields during the half- run some blondes in minimal attire out there and see what kind of crowd that brings.

  7. This is an outrage! Okay so go ahead and discontinue the acorbatic crap that leads to injury. Whatever. But don’t get rid of cheerleaders entirely. The world needs scantilly clad girls jumping around and prentending that the crowd is actually listening to the cheers they’re saying.

  8. Yeah, well I go to OSU and the reason why the Cheerleading Team was disbanded was becuase they required the cheerleaders to be under 105 lbs. Some people thought that that was a little unhealthy. Also we still have the team but they aren’t allowed to do jumps or something like that. I don’t really get it either.

  9. goodness, her abs are re-dirk-ulous!!! i am in love… and i dont need to see her face!

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