Beavers Forced To Lay Motionless
Tragedy has struck on the Oregon State campus… they are discontinuing their cheerleading team. The administration has decided that the risk for injury (and thus, financial liability) is too high, and the Beavers will cheerlead no more.
Well, that’s just great. Who is the star quarterback supposed to fuck now?
You know, if it was any other university, I wouldn’t complain. But look at the dedication here. The girl in the right so strongly believes in the Beavers that she is about to show the world how delicious and enjoyable a Beaver can be. How can you not support that?
There may be some kind of a cheer squad next season at Oregon State that has people on the sidelines in khakis and sweaters, holding signs and actually, get this, leading cheers. I think that’s the wrong way to go. I understand the risk of injury thing, but that’s no reason to start covering up skin. You can still give the people want they want, and here’s my suggestion:
Put up a pole.
There’s no injury risk there unless you lick it when it’s too cold outside. And the girls can still give the people what they came to see, they can lead cheers just as effectively, and perhaps they’ll go home with a few extra ones in their pocket. Or g-string.
But I am, on a slightly serious note, sorry for the Oregon State cheerleaders. They work hard at what they do, they take pride in it, and now it’s gone. There’s just as much value in working hard at being a cheerleader as there is working hard at football, or soccer, or chess. This has gotta be a bitter disappointment for them.
So let’s get these girls a pole.
Otherwise, how is this young lady supposed to continue showing off her team’s mascot?