Clinton Portis was on a DC radio show on Friday, doing a phone interview to plug a charity event he had going at a bowling alley. He starts off the interview by saying, “I’m only willin’ to talk x-rated”… and that pretty much set the tone.
Now, I think the hosts are enormous douchebags, but it’s still one hell of an interview. It’s the kind of interview that, if David Stern heard it, he’d say to himself, “No matter what problems we might have in the NBA… at least we don’t have that guy.” Go here, click “4/14 Clinton Portis,” and enjoy CP discussing:
• The differences between black porn and white porn
• Taping himself having sex
• Being racially profiled
• How he committed to Miami at a strip club
• How Ken Dorsey was “breakin’ the soccer team down” at Miami
• Not paying Ifeanyi Ohalete for the #26
Thanks to Chris’s Sports Blog and their study of the relative insanity of various Miami Hurricane alumni, which I linked to over the weekend on Deadspin. At the time, the Portis interview wasn’t on there…but now it’s up for your downloading pleasure. I think it’ll make your Monday a better one.
During a rain delay in the White Sox/Blue Jays game, White Sox pitcher Mark Beuhrle got bored, had a look at the soaked tarp on the field, and got an idea. He went out to right-center field, took a running head start, and 
