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Your Offseason Dose Of Clinton Portis

I like to think that he dresses like this all the time.Clinton Portis was on a DC radio show on Friday, doing a phone interview to plug a charity event he had going at a bowling alley. He starts off the interview by saying, “I’m only willin’ to talk x-rated”… and that pretty much set the tone.

Now, I think the hosts are enormous douchebags, but it’s still one hell of an interview. It’s the kind of interview that, if David Stern heard it, he’d say to himself, “No matter what problems we might have in the NBA… at least we don’t have that guy.” Go here, click “4/14 Clinton Portis,” and enjoy CP discussing:

• The differences between black porn and white porn
• Taping himself having sex
• Being racially profiled
• How he committed to Miami at a strip club
• How Ken Dorsey was “breakin’ the soccer team down” at Miami
• Not paying Ifeanyi Ohalete for the #26

Thanks to Chris’s Sports Blog and their study of the relative insanity of various Miami Hurricane alumni, which I linked to over the weekend on Deadspin. At the time, the Portis interview wasn’t on there…but now it’s up for your downloading pleasure.  I think it’ll make your Monday a better one.

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Matthew J. Darnell

15 Comments

  1. Clinton Portis is completly Batshit insane and I love him for it. I’m a Cowboy’s fan and should by all rights hate him for playing for Washington….and I can’t. He’s too awesome. God Bless you Clinton.

  2. An overrated player getting by on media schtick. Two more seasons and nobody will remember. Now if his mother kills an opposing fan? That would be newsworthy!

  3. thank god you posted this. I caught the last couple minutes of this on my way to work and I was quite sure it was the greatest thing ever recorded.

  4. oh and the junkies aren’t douche’s, they’re actually pretty good.

  5. Overrated? He set the Redskins single-season rushing record this year behind a substandard, decrepit offensive line. No doubt his antics get him more media attention than he’d get otherwise, but you can hardly say he’s coasting through his football career based on mere notoriety. He’s as hard-working a RB as there is in the league, and plenty talented too.

  6. not to mention the fact that he willingly added about thirty pounds of muscle last offseason to better fit the mold for a Gibbs running game.

  7. cheesehead is just jealous because he has no qb and a rb who can’t hold onto the ball

  8. Why do people think Clinton Portis is funny with his little dress up costumes? Its probably the corniest sh*t I’ve seen in the past 5 years. Old, fat, 60 year old white sportwriters think its funny. That goes to show you how unfunny it really is.

  9. This is good. I mean real good. I garuntee the PR office is fielding concernec mother’s phonecalls all day to put this fire out and the director probably is trying to explain to portis that this doesn’t help the team. He doesn’t give a shit.

  10. i find it hard to believe that concerned mothers would be listening to the Junkies. and who is this “director” to whom you refer?

  11. Looks like Elton John had a love child w/ Dennis Rodman. He might actually be a genius because, really, how long could it possibly be ’till Carmen Electra is stalking him outside the locker room. She loves them crazies.

  12. I recently read a book about the UM program, and apparently Portis showed up as a freshman, and immediately declared himself the starter.

    The seeds of crazy are sowed early.

  13. I’m with unsilent majority on this one. Since the Junkies took over for Howard Stern, I find myself listening to them much more than I listen to Howard on the Sirius. They aren’t douches so much as they are just 4 guys like any of us who lucked into a great gig. And they admit as much at least once a week. I’ve actually been listening since I stumbled onto their evening show about 6 years ago.

    They also used to do these great interviews with Fred Smoot when he was a ‘Skin, called Smoot Smack. Smoot gave Clinton a run for his money in the crazy contest.

  14. smoot never woke up for the damn interviews though. I love the Junkies, even if 2 of them went to the Evil Empire of Dematha (I hate Morgan Wooten)

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