Archive for April 18th, 2006

See?  He doesn't HAVE to look like he's living out of a van.Later today, Adam Morrison will be at a news conference, announcing that he’s going to hire an agent and declare for the NBA draft. Every year at the draft, there’s someone who inevitably slides… and then ESPN will spent the next two hours delighting in their agony and shoving a camera in their face at every opportunity. I hope that doesn’t happen to Adam Morrison. There aren’t enough tissues.

I know a lot of you disagree, but… I’m still holding the crying against him. If I was a GM with a top-5 pick, it would be a factor. It’s not that he cried after losing. That wouldn’t even register as a blip on the radar. I have no problem with crying. But the fact that he cried while losing, i.e., before he lost… I think that’s a sign of some emotional immaturity. And that’s fine, he certainly wouldn’t be the first slightly immature guy drafted in the NBA. And I’m not saying he won’t be a good player, but I do believe the tears are a legitimate red flag. How’s he going to handle it if he’s drafted by Charlotte or Atlanta, and he’s losing 7 or 8 out of every 10 games?

That said, though, physically, he’s got the body and the skill to justify a top-10 or even top-5 pick. He’s shown a good understanding of the game, the ability to hit contested shots, a willingness to fight for tough rebounds and to work hard without the ball. Those things should be enough to make him a good NBA player. Whether or not he can be great will depend on whether or not he can improve his defense, and how he can expand his offensive repetoire. A lot of the shots he got in college, he just put up over a defender because he was bigger and stronger. Those shots aren’t going to be there against, oh, say… Bruce Bowen or Tayshaun Prince.

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be your... tennis ball...Serena Williams is announcing that she’s not playing anymore tennis this year… and I think it’s entirely possible that she won’t be playing again. It seems like every time there’s a major tournament, Serena’s withdrawing. I know she’s had a lot of injuries, but I also don’t think she loves the game a great deal. And that’s not a criticism, it just seems to be true. Some people are consumed by their sports, some people aren’t.

I’m not saying she can’t come back, of course… if Martina Hingis can get back to a high level, then certainly Serena could get back to frightening the hell out of every tiny white woman on tour. I just don’t know that she wants that. She likes designing clothes, acting, crushing coconuts with her thighs, and starring in many of my more violent masturbatory fantasies… and I don’t think she should be begrudged these things, because they bring her so much joy.
No matter what happens, if she never plays again… Serena Williams in her prime was better than any other women’s tennis player ever, in their prime. I dunno if you can call her the best ever, it depends on how you judge those things… but Serena at her best, I believe would beat anyone else at their best, and it might be something like 6-1, 6-2. So I do hope she gets herself back next year… and if not, I’ll be seeing a lot of her anyway.

Smoot could figure out something freaky to do with this...What you see pictured on the right is the newest promotional giveaway dreamed up the St. Paul Saints, an independent minor league baseball team in Minnesota. The boat is only 3 x 5 inches, so there aren’t a lot of details to be seen, but if you peer into one of the purple windows, I think you can make out some love stains left by Moe Williams.

The same team also gave away Randy Moss hood ornaments shortly after Randy saw fit to ram his car into a traffic cop. Somehow, I hadn’t heard about that one… which is a shame, because I would damn well be proud to display a Randy Moss hood ornament on my ride.

The Saints are also calling the owners of Al & Alma’s and asking them if they’d like to throw out the first pitch. I’m sure that being around more professional athletes is just what they want to do with their time… the poor people are probably still traumatized.

May 27th is the giveaway day, if you’re in the area.

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