Both Keith and Hootie claim to like girls, but neither one of them really thinks they belong in places were men do serious business: golf courses and dugouts.

During a Mets/Padres game Saturday night, Keith Hernandez went nuts when he saw a woman in the Padres dugout congratulate Mike Piazza after he hit a home run. Quoth Keith:

“Who is the girl in the dugout, with the long hair?. What’s going on here? You have got to be kidding me. Only player personnel in the dugout.”

No, Keith, no one’s kidding you. That was Kelly Calabrese, the Padres massage therapist. She has, and I know this is weird, a female reproductive system. That doesn’t mean she isn’t smart enough to hang out with the intellectual men that can be found in the dugout. She can actually provide a valuable service to the world. But Hernandez wasn’t done:

“I won’t say that women belong in the kitchen, but they don’t belong in the dugout.”

Oh, good. That’s very progressive of you to allow them out of the kitchen. Righteous. Women’s lib, man.

Anyway, I don’t want to make too big a deal about this… I’m not saying he should be fired or anything that drastic. I do think, however, that he should be regarded as kind of an ignorant asshole, and thus, I encourage you to join me in regarding Keith Hernandez as kind of an ignorant asshole.