Attention, professional boxers, particularly heavyweights: this is how you get fans excited for an upcoming event. Raja Bell and Kobe Bryant going at it… first, Raja:

“I have no respect for him,” Bell said. “I think he is a pompous, arrogant individual.

“I got a bruised cheek here and I can barely open my jaw on this side and that did not come from nowhere. And I felt like I’d had enough of that.”

Kobe? Arrogant and pompous? Ya don’t say. What are you going to call him next, black?

Allow Kobe to retort:

“That’s what he said? Maybe he has a glass jaw.

“Maybe he wasn’t hugged enough as a child. He’s a good defender, he’s a good basketball player [but] just go out and play the game, don’t go out there and whine about it.

“I’m not trying to go out there and elbow somebody. That’s not the way I play.

“If you get elbowed, you still have to keep your cool. I get elbowed all the time.”

This is why I can’t dislike Kobe. The man just understands what it is to be a cold-blooded killer on the basketball court, and I admire that. He’s been so good and so compelling in this series, that I’ve almost completely forgotten that he (allegedly) took the coochie. I realize that that doesn’t say a lot for my character… but I can’t pretend like I’m not enjoying the Kobe Bryant Show.

He just gets it. He just understands the attitude he has to have on the court to be better than anyone else… he might take his cheap shots like anyone else, but he’ll do it quietly, subtly, and without getting caught. Raja Bell lost his mind, committed a blatant, flagrant foul in front of the whole world. It’s not a smart play. And then Kobe twists the knife by saying he wasn’t hugged enough as a child. That’s just brilliant.

I’m sorry, Raja Bell. I like you. I think you’re a damn fine player, and I’d like to have you on my team. But… in terms of goading a guy, and owning him… the work that Kobe Bryant is doing on Raja Bell right now is Picasso-esque. It is a thing to behold.

Raja Bell hit Kobe Bryant with a Paul Orndorff clothesline last night, en route to a 114-97 Suns victory over the Lakers. As I said about the Reggie Evans violation… the NBA has set the bar pretty low for what deserves a suspension. You can find video at the above link.

If Ron Artest deserved one, if James Posey deserved one… then so does Bell. Fair is fair. I don’t think Bell actually deserves to be suspended, but… it’s relative. Compared to what the other guys did, yes, he should sit for a game. In an NBA run by me, he probably wouldn’t… neither would Artest, and Posey… I dunno, I go back and forth on that one. I think the only two guys that have truly earned suspensions in the playoffs so far are Udonis Haslem and Reggie Evans… and only one of them got it.

If the NBA doesn’t suspend Bell, they’re saying, in essence, “You know, maybe we got a little carried away earlier with these punishments.” That would be the only way to explain it if Bell didn’t get a one-game ban, and Reggie Evans got nothing. By the way, I still can’t believe you can yank a guy’s ballsac and get away with it. It’s a tough spot for the NBA… if they do suspend him, they get ripped for sending the message that it’s better to wrench a guy’s marbles than it is to hit someone in the chest. And if they don’t, they’re being entirely hypocritical.

As for post-game quotes, here are two, and they’re both bad news for the Suns. First, Raja:

“It’s been a pretty physical series, and at that point in time I had caught another elbow in the jaw and I lost my head and overreacted to it,” Bell said. “It could have cost my team and for that I’m sorry.”

Well, that’s pretty much an admission that he lost it and clotheslined the guy on purpose, right? I appreciate the honesty, but if he wanted to avoid further punishment, something like, “I went for the ball, we got tangled up, it’s a physical game, I didn’t mean to hurt anyone” probably would’ve been better. And now, Kobe:

“That’s how I grew up playing basketball in Philadelphia,” he said. “I love playing that style. It excites me more than anything.”

That’s not good for the Suns. Two things can happen when Kobe gets excited… 1) you get forcefully bent over a hotel room bed, and Kobe takes what he wants. Or 2) he kills you in Game Six.

Anyway, the Suns made the series 3-2 last night, so it heads back to LA, where the Lakers will have a chance to wrap it up… presumably without Raja Bell, who they would miss dearly. But the good news for all of us is that there’s some healthy dislike built up in this series, and it’s going at least six games. I’d love to say that this is easily the best first round series in recent memory, but Heat/Bulls and Cavs/Wizards have been almost as fascinating, and Spurs/Kings still has a chance to get there. This first round has been unbelievable.

And Kwame Brown, I hope you’re innocent.