Archive for May 9th, 2006


Petra Nemcova, a supermodel who survived the giant Tsunami in Asia by clinging to a tree, attended the Kentucky Derby this past weekend. Also in attendance was sucky Baltimore Ravens QB Kyle Boller… Boller, who evidently has much more game in this situation than he does on the football field, got her number, and was sitting with her the next day.

My compliments to Kyle Boller. Petra Nemcova is as beautiful as Kyle Boller is terrible. That’s an amazing pull. And I’m thinking this may be the last opportunity I ever have to compliment Kyle Boller, so… I wanted to take advantage.

The report comes from the New York Post (via Ben Maller). He also reportedly invited her to come watch him play a game in Baltimore… and I guess if she survived the Tsunami, she should be able to get through a Ravens game, though I don’t know why anyone would want to put her though another traumatic experience so soon.

Miami was beaten senseless last night by the Nets, losing 100-88 in a game that wasn’t as close as the final score would indicate. The Heat did make a little bit of a run late, but the outcome was never really in doubt. New Jersey started shooting hot early in the game, and they didn’t look back.

The bad news for the Nets is that Richard Jefferson sprained his ankle, and the Nets really can’t do without him. One thing they aren’t is deep. For example, they had a player get 16 minutes tonight, who I’ve never fucking heard of. Seriously. I follow the NBA pretty closely, and I have no idea who the fuck John Thomas is.

Anyway, if Jefferson is out, that brings LaMond Murray into the starting line-up… which is not good. With RJ in, however, the Nets can do a lot of things to make the Heat uncomfortable. They can penetrate, which is something Miami can’t stop. And if they can collapse the defense and move the ball back out, and they’re hitting their jumpers… the Heat are in trouble. Of course, they’re not always going to shoot as well as they did tonight, but they’re going to keep getting the looks.

I like what Nenad Krstic can do, too. He hits jumpers, and he can drag Shaq/Alonzo Mourning out away from the basket. And a lot of times last night, Miami brought Shaq out on a double team, and Vince Carter just beat the double-team easily anyway. It’s going to be very difficult for the Heat to find a way to keep Shaq out of foul trouble without opening up a free lane to the basket.

The Heat will play better, though. They didn’t shoot the ball well at all last night, which happens to them fairly frequently. Antoine Walker and Jason Williams are both pretty streaky shooters. And, New Jersey, in my opinion, though they have better bigs, doesn’t get after it on defense quite like Chicago did. They’re certainly not a bad defensive team, by any stretch, but Miami missed a lot of open looks. Maybe this had something to do with the fact that it was a blowout from jump, and effort waned on both sides as the game went on. We’ll see.

Carlos Boozer and Mike Dunleavy were both at the game, in the stands… and I found it odd that they were both dressed in white, participating in the Miami crowd’s lame “white out,” which they stole from the Winnipeg Jets/Phoenix Coyotes. I just found it odd. I think Boozer also had a pair of Thunder Stix, a Shaquille O’Neal action figure, and a copy of Kazaam that he wanted to get autographed. Kenyon Martin was at the game, too, seeing his most extensive action of the postseason.

I’d wondered about this. During the NFL draft, Under Armour rolled out some new commercials featuring the slogan “click clack.” I guess it is no longer so imperative for us to protect this house.

Anyway… click-clack, of course, is a term used for the cocking/loading of a gun, presumably before it’s fired into the chest of a motherfucker who has in some way disrespected a rapper.

Now, I don’t care… I enjoy the rap music, and hey, if I had my way, no one would be rapping about shooting people. But it happens, and I don’t think kids are going to kill each other because of an Under Armour slogan, or because Slim Thug has a song called “Click Clack” (and I’m pretty sure those lyrics — I was taught only reach for the heat if you bustin’ / So when lift this shirt that’s the end of discussion / Click-clack muthafuckas, I ain’t trying to hear nothing! — aren’t about cleats on concerete).

I do, however, wish Under Armour would just be honest about it. Clay Travis, in some nice work on SPiN on Sports, wondered about it, too, and he called Under Armour to get an explanation. They deny any reference at all to the hip-hop definition of “click clack.” They say it’s all about the sound that football cleats make on concrete, and nothing more. Here’s their explanation, again, via Clay Travis:

I contacted Under Armour, seeking comment on the duality of the “click-clack” message in youth culture. Steve Battista, vice-president of brand marketing, said as follows in a written statement: “We explain what the sounds represent in the commercial — it’s the last sound you hear before you step onto the field, the Click-Clack of cleats — it’s the whole point of the commercial … People take famous slogans and taglines and repurpose them for different purposes all the time. Hopefully they remain in a positive or motivational light …”

I’m gonna have to call bullshit on that one. Not only is it highly unlikely that they don’t know what it means, they chose it because of what it means. And again, I don’t have any kind of a huge problem with it, other than their borderline insulting denials, but… I’m guessing there are some out there, types like Hillary Clinton, or types like Bill O’Reilly, who would have a pretty huge problem with a marketing slogan that’s all about loading a gun. Under Armour shouldn’t take any less heat for it than any rapper takes for his lyrics.

The Suns took Game One from the Clippers last night, despite an incredible performance from Elton Brand… I’m thinking I may have shortchanged him in earlier MVP discussions. I’m not saying I’d have voted for him, but I’d move him up the list and give him a little more respect than I had previously.

Just to compare him to the guy who is, in my opinion, the gold standard of big men, Tim Duncan… Brand isn’t quite the back-to-the-basket technician that Duncan is, but the touch he has on his shot is incredible. He really is a threat to score from anywhere around the basket, no matter what’s going on around him. He’s not as good defensively as the best big men in the game, but he can get there. He’s also going to have to get better, particularly in this series, with recognizing the double team a little earlier, and making a better pass out of it.

The Clippers are also going to have to get more disciplined on offense… Kenny Smith talks all the time about the Suns baiting team into taking shots. They do. They let you have long jumpers early in the shot clock, and they’re begging you to take them. The Clippers took too many of them, which surprised me. Sam Cassell should know better. I expect them to adjust to that as the series goes on.

There is no reason, none whatsoever, for either Elton Brand or Chris Kaman to touch the ball every time down the floor. Every single possession that isn’t a clear fast break, the ball should be in Brand or Kaman’s hands. The Suns can’t defend them in the post. I can’t make this clear enough. Every single time.

Great shooting performance from the Suns last night. 54.7% from the floor, and 44.4% from behind the 3-point line. What’s add about it is that I felt the Clippers defended them better than the Lakers did. They’re better equipped to handle the pick-and-roll, and the Suns made a lot of tough shots. Boris Diaw and Leandro Barbosa hit a lot of contested shots, and Steve Nash was outstanding at getting a big man on him after a pick-and-roll, and then stepping back and hitting the jumper. He really is the Suns halfcourt offense. Everyone thinks about his up-tempo game, but he doesn’t get enough credit for what he does in the halfcourt.

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