Archive for May 11th, 2006

At least two major tennis tournaments still pay women less than they pay men.. Wimbledon and the French Open. Maria Sharapova would like to see that change.

And she’s absolutely right. There’s no reason that the men should be paid more… I’ve heard the argument that they play a best of five sets, as opposed to the women’s three, but I’m not buying it. Since when do athletes (or anyone else, for that matter) get paid based on their effort? They don’t. There is no shortage of evidence for this point… for example, Vince Carter was paid very well in Toronto, where he just didn’t try. Most American League DH’s make more than your average 3rd-line NHL grinder who gets punched in the face three times a week. Jerry Rice, Cris Carter, and Andre Reed made more than Rod Tidwell. It goes on and on. Effort, playing time, etc., have nothing to do with it.

I’m guessing at this (and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong), but doesn’t women’s tennis draw higher ratings than men’s tennis? Maybe it’s different internationally, but I honestly don’t know one person who would make it a point to tune in to see any men’s match I could come up with (well, with the possible exception of Federer vs. Nadal on clay). But with the Williams sisters (when they decide to play), Sharapova, Hingis, Clijsters, Davenport, there are a lot of potentially intriguing women’s matches.

There’s no question that the men are better at tennis, but tennis is one of the rare sports where being better doesn’t necessarily make it better to watch. The women create more interest, the talent pool is deeper, and quite a few of them have great tits. And great tits deserve money.

I kid, I kid. Truly, I just don’t see any reason to continue giving men a bigger share of the prize money, because the women are doing more for the game. It’s an old-school, cave-man mentality that needs to be dropped. So stop being sexist, and pay these hoes.

I’ve been waiting for something like this… I get too few opportunities to say “tote bag.”

As part of a Mother’s Day promotion, the Angels gave out red tote bags to female fans over the age of 18. Men, and people under 18 were not given tote bags. Michael Cohn, a Los Angeles psychologist, has filed a class action lawsuit against the Angels because he didn’t get his tote bag. A snippet:

Angel officials said Cohn was the only person who complained about the giveaway and that the team is proud of its promotions.

“Historically, we have tried to appeal on those special days that might be nationally noted holidays or special occasions,” team spokesman Tim Mead said, adding he could not comment directly on the suit because he hadn’t seen it. “We have tailored programs or giveaways accordingly.”

The team responded to a complaint letter that Cohn wrote last June by sending him four tote bags and a letter stating the team “ran out of the item that day and had to order more.”

“They claimed they didn’t have any more bags, but my client said there was a mountain of bags stacked so high a show dog couldn’t have jumped over them,” said Alfred Rava, Cohn’s San Diego-based attorney.

Cohn could not be reached for comment.

This man… is a sad, sad, man. If it was one of those cool jogging suits that fold and zip into a tote bag, I could see it, but it’s not.

And what bothers me about it is that he’s alleging that his civl rights have been violated. This is clearly note a man who cares about civil rights, or takes the term very seriously… because he’s using it after being denied a free tote bag. Innocent guys on death row are having their civil rights violated. Citizens that are victim to racial profiling are having their civil rights violated. This guy is just a skirtbag whining over a tote bag.

A tote bag! We can’t give women cheap-ass tote bags on Mother’s Day without this guy’s feelings getting hurt? It’s Mother’s Day. When it’s Lawsuit-Happy-Douchebag-Day, you can have all the totebag you want, man. And then you will be free to tote around any damn thing you feel like. Seriously, what’s he trying to do here? What possible good can come from this lawsuit? What wrong is there that can be righted? Is it really a problem in our society that a baseball team gives women totebags on Mother’s Day? Poor men… they just have it so rough. One day a year, they are denied tote bags. It’s vicious.

The frightening thing is that this guy’s a psychologist. He’s gotta be really good at that job… running around all day, handing out tote bags to anyone and everyone. “Hey, can you evaluate this person’s mental stability?” “Well, I think clearly what this man needs is a tote bag full of tote bags, and he’ll be fine.”

I think a judge should hear the case, decided that the man be awarded a tote bag… and then be forced to carry it with him at all times, 24 hours a day, wherever he goes. He should never again be without his pretty red tote bag.

And there goes one of the most underrated receivers of all-time. When the greats of the game are mentioned, Jimmy Smith isn’t likely to be the first name out of anyone’s mouth, and that’s alright, but the man’s production just can’t be denied. Even the last year, competing at the age of 73, Jimmy Smith caught 70 balls for over 1,000 yards and 6 TDs. Since 1996, the only guy who has more catches or yards is Marvin Harrison. Fantasy leagues are going to miss Jimmy Smith.

I think the color teal hurts him here. It’s hard, not impossible, but pretty damn hard, to take any player seriously as an all-time great when they’ve spent their entire career parading around in teal. Teal is for pretty little girls. It is not a masculine or memorable color. It may also be the reason that some illiterate bastard did not vote Chris Paul as the NBA’s rookie of the year. Also, Jacksonville’s a small market, and a relatively new franchise… Jimmy Smith doesn’t get the recognition there that he’d get if the same career was had with the Giants or the Redkins or some other team.

Byron Leftwich is going to miss the hell out of him. It’s going to be a little different looking out and seeing Matt Jones and Ernest Wilford, as opposed to Jimmy Smith. I’m not saying those guys aren’t good, but they’re not Jimmy Smith. Jimmy made one hell of a security blanket.

© Copyright . All Rights Reserved.