I’ve been waiting for something like this… I get too few opportunities to say “tote bag.”
As part of a Mother’s Day promotion, the Angels gave out red tote bags to female fans over the age of 18. Men, and people under 18 were not given tote bags. Michael Cohn, a Los Angeles psychologist, has filed a class action lawsuit against the Angels because he didn’t get his tote bag. A snippet:
Angel officials said Cohn was the only person who complained about the giveaway and that the team is proud of its promotions.
“Historically, we have tried to appeal on those special days that might be nationally noted holidays or special occasions,” team spokesman Tim Mead said, adding he could not comment directly on the suit because he hadn’t seen it. “We have tailored programs or giveaways accordingly.”
The team responded to a complaint letter that Cohn wrote last June by sending him four tote bags and a letter stating the team “ran out of the item that day and had to order more.”
“They claimed they didn’t have any more bags, but my client said there was a mountain of bags stacked so high a show dog couldn’t have jumped over them,” said Alfred Rava, Cohn’s San Diego-based attorney.
Cohn could not be reached for comment.
This man… is a sad, sad, man. If it was one of those cool jogging suits that fold and zip into a tote bag, I could see it, but it’s not.
And what bothers me about it is that he’s alleging that his civl rights have been violated. This is clearly note a man who cares about civil rights, or takes the term very seriously… because he’s using it after being denied a free tote bag. Innocent guys on death row are having their civil rights violated. Citizens that are victim to racial profiling are having their civil rights violated. This guy is just a skirtbag whining over a tote bag.
A tote bag! We can’t give women cheap-ass tote bags on Mother’s Day without this guy’s feelings getting hurt? It’s Mother’s Day. When it’s Lawsuit-Happy-Douchebag-Day, you can have all the totebag you want, man. And then you will be free to tote around any damn thing you feel like. Seriously, what’s he trying to do here? What possible good can come from this lawsuit? What wrong is there that can be righted? Is it really a problem in our society that a baseball team gives women totebags on Mother’s Day? Poor men… they just have it so rough. One day a year, they are denied tote bags. It’s vicious.
The frightening thing is that this guy’s a psychologist. He’s gotta be really good at that job… running around all day, handing out tote bags to anyone and everyone. “Hey, can you evaluate this person’s mental stability?” “Well, I think clearly what this man needs is a tote bag full of tote bags, and he’ll be fine.”
I think a judge should hear the case, decided that the man be awarded a tote bag… and then be forced to carry it with him at all times, 24 hours a day, wherever he goes. He should never again be without his pretty red tote bag.
hkuszak
it’s the last step of a 12 step program before he has a sex change.
May 11, 2006 at 10:57 am
MasterShake
I agree whole-heartedly that this man is a giant douchebag. However, where the legal system is concerned it’s all or nothing. The Angels can give away totebags to women only, but only until someone complains (the legal is only required to have an opinion after something is brought to its attention). The legal system sees no difference between giving totebags to women only and giving fitted caps to whites only. Discrimination is either legal or illegal. Unfortunately whiny, ball-less douchebags have been quick to exploit the situation.
May 11, 2006 at 11:14 am
insomniac
It’s dickhead lawyers like Rava who will take any case that give the other 1% of them a bad name.
And who thinks the best way to describe the height of a pile of objects is to determine whether or not a show dog can jump over it? Actually, don’t answer that question.
Lastly– gotta love the GoogleAds. I’ve got to click on “Totally Tote Bags” where I can find bargains to “Tote a Better Tote Bag!”
May 11, 2006 at 11:54 am
Bouj
The Dodgers were planning on giving away lipstick to women as a part of some promotion recently. Maybe this candy-ass should take himself over to Chavez Ravine and get some.
I don’t know if I buy the “all-or-none” argument. That seems like a slippery slope that would be bad news if implemented. Like the part of the promotion that says “Over 18: would be age discrimination, and by that rationale, then there could be no age restrictions. It doesn’t seem like that would be a winning legal issue. But you never know…
May 11, 2006 at 12:56 pm
the mighty mjd
The Google Ads are indeed awesome. I hope you’re all able to find a totebag suitable to your lifestyle today.
May 11, 2006 at 1:46 pm
MasterShake
Courts have ruled that age discrimination only applies at the back-end and to the exclusion of older people. In other words, it’s legal to have the AARP not allow people under 55 to join, but it’s illegal to have the local gun club not allow people over 55 to join. It’s legal for that same gun club to prohibit people under 18 to join and it’s also legal for that gun club (or concert-venue or whatever) to say that only people under 18 can join. The courts tend to support anything that prevents the mingling of adults and minors since it often causes more work for the courts and has decided so more than once(drinking age, strip club age, dance-clubs that are 15-17 only, etc.). Also, minors have specific legal rights which are very different from adults pertaining to the binding of contracts ad culpability. So the “all or nothing” outlook on discrimination applies to sex, race, ethnicity, disabilty, but not to age in most circumstances. Sorry for not mentioning it earlier (and for causing you to fall asleep from boredeom and potentially get fired).
May 11, 2006 at 1:55 pm
v-dub
what a dumbass! that is all i can say about it… dumbass! poor men indeed!
May 11, 2006 at 2:13 pm
Rhondda Nunes
*yawn*you did make me sleepy with that one, ‘tho you’re right.
Let the judge give him a tote all right, but how ’bout in pink; the more girly the better.My niece has a nice barbie one she doesn’t use anymore.
May 11, 2006 at 2:14 pm
Bouj
The age thing was a bad example, perhaps, but what about the LPGA? Or Boy/Girl Scouts? Or anything of that nature? Maybe it’s just my intuition that says this should be a losing case for Ms. Cohn.
Cohn will probably win. But he sure is giving frivolous lawsuit filers a bad name. Even the Got-Fat-Off-McDonald’s-Guy thinks this is going too far…
May 11, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Moose Bigelow
Okay, time to play devil’s advocate…
The man obviously wasn’t interested in the tote bag for its own sake. He’s using it to make a point about the unequal but politically correct application of US civil rights law. For decades, women’s advocacy groups have backed female plaintiffs in suits filed over any shade of discrimination against a woman in favor of men, be it jobs, promotions, dry cleaning pricing, hair cuts, etc. Even when service providers such as dry cleaners and hair salons can demonstrate that it actually costs them more to service female patrons, and therefore pricing differences are based on legitimate costs rather than sex discrimination, the courts have ruled that you cannot charge a woman more than a man.
You can, however, charge a man more than a woman. As in automobile insurance. And life insurance rates. And business suits. In these cases, the fact that it costs less to insure a woman or manufacture her business suits is an entirely acceptable justification for charging men more than women.
So this Cohn guy (will his fans be known as Cohnheads?) gets fed up with the double standard and decides to make a statement about the unfairness of it by filing a discrimination suit over a baseball game tote bag promotion. At its core, it’s not a legal action but a political and social statement. Those of you who generally believe on the beneficial role of social activism should be applauding him. Unless, of course, you believe that equality under the law doesn’t apply to white males.
May 11, 2006 at 7:41 pm
the mighty mjd
Well, we can’t have white males experiencing any sort of difficulty out there. As a nation, that’s just not something we can stand for. Oppression is for other people. It sucks that men have to pay more for their suits… if only there was a way that they could make more money than women or have increased access to jobs. Ah, in a perfect world…
Alright, sorry for being an asshole. I do appreciate the fact that you took the time to put your views forth. But the day I see myself ever becoming concerned about the plight of the white male in America… well, that day is very very very very far off.
May 11, 2006 at 9:07 pm
Moose Bigelow
I appreciate your POV. Why should we accord white males equal consideration with everyone else in this country? What did they ever do for us?
Apart from the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the 13th, 14th, 15th, and 19th Amendments…
May 11, 2006 at 9:59 pm
the mighty mjd
the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the 13th, 14th, 15th, and 19th Amendments… slavery, the genocide of Native Americans, all those things…
My point is that white men already control everything… all the money, all the political power, everything. Worrying about the status of white men in America is like worrying about the Yankees ability to be aggressive in the free agent market. Some things just aren’t issues.
May 11, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Moose Bigelow
I’m sorry sir. An older boy put me up to it.
May 11, 2006 at 11:05 pm
Edward
MJD, that’s potentially the most sensible thing I’ve ever seen on the internet. There are legal fights that make the world better, or at least demonstrate a willingness to try and make the world better, and then there are tote-bag wanting douches. Also, this guy is the only person on earth who actually WANTS the tote bag. Next year, the Angels should offer the tote bag to anyone, but point out that it really should be for women only, so only take one if you’re a woman, or a man who acts like a big girl’s blouse.
May 12, 2006 at 12:42 am
Todd
Having worked in psychology I would love to see what he specializes in. Whatever a psychologist specializes in means they have that affliction only ten fold. Trust me, meet a female psychologist who studies sex addiction and she’ll be the biggest sex freak you will ever meet. This guy probably specializes in superiority complex or some shit. It’s a fucking tote bag. . .I’ll start a fund raiser. We’ll get him a tote bag, pacifier, ky lube, and diapers.
May 12, 2006 at 8:37 am
Maber
Not sure I agree with the idea that, he’s a white guy, so fuck him. I don’t know the guy, but I bet he’s gone through his life so far without killing any Native Americans, and while he certainly benefits from the societal position he’s in as a white male, it can’t be your argument that: dammit buddy, if you were black, you’d have a case here…maybe go back to your honkey mansion and count your money or something?
He does suck, though.
May 12, 2006 at 2:36 pm
HuangKong
you know how i know you’re gay? you want a pink tote bag.
May 15, 2006 at 8:36 am
DVJ
Hey, has it occurred to anyone that perhaps the guy just wanted the bag so he could give it to someone (perhaps his mother) that couldn’t make it to the game ?
Or maybe he IS gay and wanted the bag for himself – so what ? Is being gay now against the law ?
May 17, 2006 at 1:04 am
Warren
I’m not quite sure how this story about some dumb-ass suing the Angels for a bag came onto a rant about who in America “owns” or “runs” everything, but here in Canada we don’t view the world that way. Afterall we are all humans. We all live on this planet and try to eek out an existance on our own. The last thing we need are idiots making statements about people because of what colour their skin is. How grade 5.
So because my neighbour on the left of me is a Doctor, but is Native Canadian / Black, I’m supposed to accept generalizations about him and pity him? Or the “white guy” that lives down the road who is poor and barely scrapes by? I should want to see him fail? How about worrying about your own success and failures and not judge people because their ancestorys happened to be born in Europe or North Africa.
We are all immigrants in North America. Successful people accept that and achieve great things.
Sigh.
May 24, 2006 at 3:32 pm