Archive for June 9th, 2006

Here’s the bad news for the Heat: they lost Game One. And here’s the worse news: Josh Howard shot 3-of-14, Dirk shot 4-of-14, Jerry Stackhouse was 4-of-11, the game was played at a fairly slow and sloppy pace, which probably favors the Heat, and the Mavs still won by ten.

But, as I said, it was a pretty sloppy game and I didn’t feel like it was played at any sort of a decent level. If the Spurs/Mavs series was played at the final level where you save the princess and fight the evil Bowser (who’s chucking hammers at you like he’s Antoine Walker), then last night’s game was at the opening level where you just speed through, eat some mushrooms, collect some coins, dodge a turtle or two, and then leap merrily onto a flagpole.

So, who knows. Both teams, at times, seemed pretty shaky offensively. Maybe in Game Two, both teams will be more comfortable, and it’ll be a completely different story. But on the defensive side of the ball, I don’t see how things could possibly get much better for the Heat. They were very good at that end. Udonis Haslem did a great job on Dirk… just as he did against Rasheed Wallace, working his ass off in the post, denying him position. Dirk didn’t take a whole lot of shots that he liked last night. And again, the Mavs still had enough for a win.

And the star of the show was, of course, Jason Terry, a guy whose balls seem to grow when the spotlight gets brighter. 13-of-18, including 4-of-7 from behind the three-line… he’s getting plenty of shine, and he deserves it. He was the one Mav who carried the load offensively.

And I’d also like mention real quickly… if any of you find yourselves concerned about tuning in to the games early to catch some of ABC’s pre-game show… just don’t. Use that time to do something a little more informative and intelling, like heading to a nearby truckstop and reading the things that drunk truckers have scribbled on the urine-stained walls. I’m sorry, Mark Jackson, I know there’s a lot of things you’re good at, but… lead studio analyst is not one of them. It’s like ABC wasn’t even trying with this. It’s like this whole thing was a surprise to them, and 10 minutes before tip-off, they needed an analyst and someone spotted Mark Jackson and said, “Hey, he used to play basketball! Get him over here!”

Game Two is Sunday night.

Oddly enough, he’s not even being charged with a crime here… but there’s still plenty of evidence here that Zach Randolph isn’t someone that you’d want on your basketball team. Or living anywhere within your area code.

A friend of Zach’s was driving Zach’s car, with Zach in the front seat. The driver was racing another car, doing 50-60 mph in a 20 mph zone. He was charged with speed racing, careless driving, failure to obey a traffic signal, and having no front plate. In addition, officers found two handguns in the car… but no one was charged with anything, becauze Zach has a concealed weapons permit. They must give those things to absolutely fucking anyone.

What do you need the guns for? In case you lose the race? If you’re at a point in your life where you feel it’s necessary to carry two handguns with you at all times, then you’ve probably made some poor choices along the way. And if you want to race, Zach, get yourself an XBox and a copy of Gran Turismo.

There may be no hope for this guy. I see him in a Knick uniform very soon.

Look at that. Mavs hat, Heat jersey. I think that’s worse than anything Owens ever did to Donovan McNabb, and I’m not kidding. Again… Mavs hat, Heat jersey. At a Mavs vs. Heat game. What kind of a person does that? How completely devoid of character do you have to be?

The statement that Owens is making with his ensemble is something like, “I have no real conviction about anything. The very concept of loyalty confuses me and makes me begin to weep. I will do what is fashionable, and what I believe is cool. I am completely unaware of my surroundings and the basic rules of a normal society… and I just don’t care, because I don’t have to.”

Unless you’re a sibling to a player on one team, and currently having sex with a player on the other team, Laura Quinn-style… then you’re just a complete dickbag. Mavs hat, Heat jersey. Tells you just about everything you need to know about Terrell Owens.

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