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Concrete Remains Undefeated

Steelers linebacker Joey Porter on motorcycles:

“If I fall off a Jet Ski, I hit the water, and I like my odds,” Porter said. “I’m going to get wet. What I say about motorcycles is that concrete is undefeated.”

And, quite unfortunately, concrete ran it’s all-time record up to 29,372,027,258-and-0. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger suffered some pretty bad injuries yesterday after a motorcycle crash in Pittsburgh. I once said that after Jay Williams, and after Kellen Winslow, I’d have a hard time feeling sorry for anyone else who got hurt on a motorcycle. It was easy to say at the time, but, as it turns out, not true.

I feel terrible for the guy. I wish him nothing but the best. I don’t think he “deserves” it for not wearing a helmet, and I don’t think he “had it coming.” Of course, none of that stops me from thinking that refusing to wear a helmet is something done only by absolute fucking morons. I don’t begrudge him his motorcycle. A lot of guys in the NFL do a lot of dangerous things in the offseason. Some guys go skydiving. Some guys have cocaine habits. Matt Leinart has sex with Paris Hilton. All of them, if you’re irresponsible about it, can hurt you. Riding a motorcycle is something that you can do safely, keeping in mind that bad things can, and are perhaps more likely to happen. But regardless… put on a fucking helmet. It’s not a freedom issue, it’s not about anyone trying to control you, it’s not about the man keeping you down… it’s about 15,000 tramatic brain injuries a year suffered in motorcycle accidents.

It’s still kinda hard to tell how bad things are for him right now. I know that seven hours of facial surgery, however… is not a good thing. His hat may not fit right for a while. I guess the knee injuries aren’t that significant, but… I mean, if doctors are putting his face back together, it could be a while before they clear him for the kind of contact that the NFL brings. Doctor Jerome Bettis, though, says his injuries aren’t severe enough to limit anything he can do on the football field. Man law? Man law.

Best of luck, Large Benjamin. I’m rooting for your good health.

Matthew J. Darnell

18 Comments

  1. Anyone that rides the type of bike he rides DOES have it coming. Furthermore, any twit that rides a motorcycle without safety equipment REALLY has it coming. Hope he gets better but I don’t feel badly for him at all.

    I feel worse for the Steelers that chose to invest money in a doofus.

  2. I’ve heard a lot of motorcycle riders say that wearing a helmet is just as dangerous because it cuts both peripheral vision and some of your ability to hear. What I want to know is why he was on a bike in the first place. After Kellen Winslow’s tumble last season, Cowher should have threatened to bite some fingers off if Ben continued to ride.

  3. Complaining about a football player’s safety for not wearing a helmet while on a motorcycle is like bitching about a Tony Stewart driving to Jack and the Box without his seatbelt on.

    Ben plays a sport during which in any average game he could be hit so hard he becomes Ali.From a 2003 NFL study:

    Quarterbacks … routinely suffer high rates of brain concussions and spine injuries that could trigger paralysis, dementia, depression, and other ailments later in life. On average, seven pro football players a week face potentially life-altering head, spine, or neck trauma.

    I assume former RB Earl Campbell always wore a helmet on a motorcycle. Ask him how his “walking every day in excruciating pain” this is going.

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/si_online/news/2002/09/11/wrecking_yard/

  4. I ride a bike similar to Big Bens (mine cost like 5k and im sure his was like 20k, but whatever) and I live in a real small town, like 2500 people. I never wear my helmet when I am driving around through town because the speed limit never gets up over 30 mph anywhere. But anytime I know I’m hitting the highway and I’m gonna be doing 60-80 mph I put my fucking helmet on and gloves and whatever other bodily protection I can find. If i could wear an entire goalie outfit and still be able to fit my ass on the bike I’d do it. Some helmets do cut peripheral vision a bit, but it is definately worth taking the minor vision cut than wrecking the bike once without a helmet. As for the hearing part, what do you really need to hear? Wearing a helmet and riding a bike is no different than when you drive in your car and blast your fucking radio at deafening levels.

  5. and yet, the driver of the vechicle who started the accident, Carson Palmer, was unavailable for comment.

    As for facial surgery – you think Kelly Grubbis is looking up him anymore?

  6. For a guy who has a t-shirt that says “drink like a champion today,” you expect about as much. But that being said, you can’t really be pissed at Ben per se, as most males his age (and almost all males 18 -30) think they’re invincible. Hopefully he’ll pull through, and the first thing he’ll do when he gets out is go buy a fucking helmet. You can’t expect all 62 year olds to see a motorcycle before they try to squeeze in the last left turn before the red light.

  7. In related stupid athlete news JJ Redick was arrested for DUI last night.

    I hate myself for being happy about this after all dirnking and driving puts people’s lives in danger but my hatred of Duke is too strong.

  8. Who the f*** is “Kelly Grubbis”? You mean Kelly Gruber, the ex-Blue Jay 3rd baseman? Maybe Natalie Gulbis, the semi-talented golfer that Ben was hitting a while back (and by semi-talented, I mean she’s in the Kournikova category of Look Good, Play OK).

    Ben and all the other bike enthusiasts can go on and on about being safe and helmets cutting down on peripheral vision, but that’s not gonna save anyone from an accident when it’s not your fault. You know, like when a 60-year-old woman fails to yield and you get your head knocked into her windshield and off the street as a result.

  9. This may end up being a blessing in disguise for the Steelers as you’d have to think Ben will take a lesson from it. If not, that’s really unfortunate. Just to clarify, KW was riding in a parking lot trying to pop wheelies and wasn’t even a licensed motorcycle driver. He was however wearing a helmet. There was no lesson to belearned from KW unless that lesson is just don’t ride motorcycles.

    I fucking hate Jerome Bettis. Hate him. I wish he’d just go away.

  10. Yea yea yea, I can’t distinguish my washed up AL East third basemen from the LPGA Annika-ettes. Don’t let MJD take my Iron City away from me now.

  11. Golden, you are correct. J.J. got busted for making an illegal U-turn, and then blew a .12 – not quite as splendiferous as Kerry Collins and his .29 in Charlotte nearly a decade ago, but still…

    What is the most amazing part about that story is that’s the first time JJ has ever been seen driving in the lane.

  12. Young guys make mistakes, And hopefully Ben comes out of this okay and had learned his lesson…..Why the hatered from Bettis, jerloma???? Because he’s not flashy and a loud mouth??? Or that at his age, he bowled over Urlacher?? He’e a great player with his own style!!!!

  13. Fucking dumbass.

    This would never happen to Peyton Manning, he’s at home studying film. Do you think he owns a motorcycle? He doesn’t even own a motorcycle video game because all of his games are Madden and all he does is watch tapes of peoples games.

    They may say Ben is fine but in Week 9 he’ll pull down his pants and take a shit on the 40 yard line and people will go “uh oh”.

  14. Of course the real shocker here is that best quote on this came from Joey Porter. If Joey Porter understands the dangers of riding a motorcyle without a helmet, you must be a comple freaking moron to not understand that concrete and asphalt always win…

  15. Peyton Manning’s head may be he only thing ever to defeat concrete.

    Unless it’s in January or February…

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