Archive for June 14th, 2006

June14

Hamilton Ti-Cats Cheeleaders Suspended, Joe Theismann Enraged

By: the mighty mjd

You ladies are why the Trim category exists. Thank you.A couple of cheerleaders for the CFL’s Hamilton Tiger-Cats have been suspended from the squad after going on Howard Stern’s radio show. They were on the air talking about how they were virgins, their preferences for blow jobs, and they did some ho-dancing, evidently, and according to this article, they both “rode a sex toy.”

Joe Theismann had these comments:

“I don’t ever want to be mentioned in the same breath as these sex toy-riding cheerleaders ever again. I mean, they ride sex toys. Live on the air! I mean, I know my own son rides sex toys, too, but… that’s in the privacy of his own home, and the boy’s a Theismann, okay? He can do whatever the hell he wants, and if he wants to ride a motorized rubber ding-dong, then I’m damn sure going to let him. Fuckin’, I’ll pay for his batteries.

But these girls are a disgrace to the proud legacy of Canadian cheerleading, which is renowned all over the world. They don’t deserve to make human pyramids and carry megaphones. They should just go on with their lives, and blow anyone they want to. Blow Bryan Adams or Dexter Manley or the host of Fear Factor, I don’t care. Blow the plumber the next time he shows up at your house, right there on the kitchen floor if you feel like it. They obviously don’t want to cheer. Doesn’t anybody have any class anywhere?”

I made that up.

So yeah, they’re suspended. I can’t say for sure whether or not that suspension is just. I do, however, feel like it would be just to suspend or fire any woman who even believes that she can appear on Howard Stern’s show, and then not having something bad happen in her life. What positive outcomes are even possible?

I’m not a Stern fan, but… I know enough to know that no woman’s going to be on that show without being at least asked to talk about things that are… well… whorish. It’s what the man does, and apparently, there’s a huge audience for it. What are these girls expecting? That they’ll get on the show and share their grandmother’s recipe for Snickerdoodles? The Canadian Football League prides themselves on being a family-oriented enterprise… they don’t want their cheerleaders on the radio saying, “Hi! We cheer for the Hamilton Tiger-Cats and we’ve sucked more dicks than we can even count! GO TI-CATS!”

Posted in: Trim12 comments

June14

Mavs 2, Heat 1

By: the mighty mjd

The Heat got in front of their home crowd, Dwyane Wade had 42 points and 13 boards, David Stern threatened to fire any official who made a call against Shaq, Gary Payton, of all people, made a clutch jumper … and the Heat needed a major comeback to squeak out a win against the Mavs and get back in the series.

J.E. Skeets at The Basketball Jones has been telling anyone who would listen that Wade was going to do that last night. And lo, he did. And I really think that’s the only hope Miami had of a winning a game in this series. It happened, and they did. The good news for the Heat is that they have the next two games in their own building as well, for some completely absurd reason.

Dwyane Wade’s incredible… and, you know, he does a lot of things that are otherwordly, but I’m particularly impressed with some of his shot blocks. He gets up there, and he does so quickly and with a purpose. I don’t know if there’s ever been another guard quite like that, at least at that size. I have a theory that Dwyane Wade could start at center for a lot of NBA teams and be an upgrade. He just knows how to protect the rim. That last-second play that the Mavs ran? Almost a brilliant play for the Mavs, but Dwyane was there. He did what it took. Very few other guards in the league would’ve made that play, and the ones who would have are all 6’5″ or taller.

And for those of you concerned about Antoine Walker’s shot count… it was a healthy 17. I guess that’s the other good thing for the Heat… Antoine is happy and getting his looks. I think that’s important. You’ve got to feed your stars. He took just 9 fewer shots than Dwyane Wade, and Wade outscored him by 30. And third on the shot list for the Heat was Jason Williams with 11, which I think is a little too low. I really wish he and Antoine would take over some more games… Pat Riley needs the ball in the hands of the Heat’s most important two guys: Antoine Walker and Jason Williams.

Posted in: NBA7 comments

June14

Jason Terry’s Ass Seems To Be Mad

By: the mighty mjd

Here’s a rap video that Jason Terry has something to do with. There’s some questionable content involved, so I can’t really recommend this to you if you’re at work. Or at home. Or if in any sort of a public place. Or if you’re a human being with functioning ears.

I think my favorite part was in the beginning when the guy went, “Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch…” That was awesome. You know, I listen to and enjoy some bad rap music (wanna catch me ridin’ dirty?), but this… it’s a little much. I can’t really get behind it. Oh, and I picked it up at Lang Whitaker’s Sam Rubenstein’s SLAMOnline.

So the last two sports-related rap videos I’ve seen are this Jason Terry-related work, and Clint Dempsey’s “Don’t Tread.” And I don’t know how it happened, but… the white soccer player won. The white soccer player beat the black basketball player and his friends with angry asses. In fairness to Jason Terry, though, his Mavs are doing a little bit better than Clint’s Team USA, so he’s got that going for him. And here’s Clint, who needs to see the field against Italia on Saturday.

Posted in: NBA, Soccer4 comments

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