With the 23rd selection in the NHL Entry Draft, the Washington Capitals selected goaltender Semen Varlamov. Scouts describe him as having quick reflexes and a very sticky glove hand. It helps with goaltending, but it made the podium handshake with the Capitals GM very awkward.
Scouts also believe that Semen has a powerful, but terribly inaccurate shot, which is rare for a goalie. Almost inexplicably, when he shoots, it usually ends up hitting a defender in the face. NHL shooters cannot expect to go five-hole on Semen without also experiencing a very unpleasant mess. There are concerns, though, about Semen’s attitude, as some scouts fear he is a bit of a prima donna. Semen has starred in many low-budget movies, usually appearing at the climactic end of scenes.

unc_samurai
I bet he’s got a great wrist shot.
June 28, 2006 at 7:54 am
Suss
Oh come now.
June 28, 2006 at 9:32 am
AwfulAnnouncing
Hey O! Let the awkward comedy pyramid begin!
June 28, 2006 at 9:43 am
Biff
And don’t forget the other Russian prospect who will be coming over next season. Alexander Semin.
June 28, 2006 at 9:50 am
Moose Bigelow
Semen will participate on the Capitals youth outreach program as he is protein.
June 28, 2006 at 11:03 am
Elvis
* GROAN *
We in Washington have been enduring such labored semen-related jokes for a few years now, ever since Alexander Semin first came over. There is actually a fan who attends games at the Verizon Center clad in a #28 jersey with the nameplate “JIZZ”. I could not make up something like that.
The acquisition of Varlamov is just going to multiply the juvenility fivefold. Lord help us if he ever makes it up to the show while Semin’s still on the team! The tittering will be deafening.
June 30, 2006 at 8:40 pm