Yesterday, during extra time of Italy’s World Cup victory over France, Zinedine Zidane became the first player ever, at least to my knowledge, to end his career by ramming his cranium into a sweaty Italian chest. In fact, I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen anyone try that manuever… maybe once or twice in movies that feature either Jean-Claude Van Damme, or a lot of redneck bar fights. In case you missed it…

That’s going out with a blaze of… well, “glory” isn’t the right word. “Artest” seems to fit much better. Can someone go out in a blaze of Artest? I dunno. If it’s possible, Zidane just did it. I mean, he might’ve been provoked, frustrated, whatever… but the fact of the matter is that he was unable to control himself, and it cost his team dearly. It wouldn’t be fair to say he cost his team a World Cup, but he certainly hurt their chances to win one. Inexcusable. Brilliant career, brilliant player, and that shouldn’t be the lasting image of his career, but… on the biggest possible stage, at the worst possible time, he just lost it. Sorry Z. That’s the way it goes sometimes.

Anyway, congratulations to Italy… I suppose. I didn’t see a minute of the game live, unfortunately. But I just watched the replay… not a particularly attractive game. I couldn’t describe it as a well-played game, there seemed to be some nerves and some sloppiness, but… that’s how Italy’s gotten here. They’ve trudged along, playing their unsightly defense, getting some balanced scoring, and haven’t done anything to make themselves particularly liked by anyone. Kinda reminds me of the ’04 Pistons, actually. They won with defense, were criticized for not joga-ing bonita, had a balanced offense, and no one outside of their home area liked them, either.

So now that the whole thing’s over, FIFA should spend all of their time and resources trying to figure out a way to get flopping and diving out of the game before the next World Cup. It’s a complete enjoyment killer. All sports have their problems, but I don’t think any sport is plagued by any single game-related issue as much as soccer is plagued by diving. It’s gotta go… I wouldn’t be opposed to some sort of a video replay thing… not to be used during the game necessarily, but afterwards, officials could review the tapes and any obvious, blatant dive could get a one-game ban. Might seem harsh, but I think the problem’s that big. Or, we could also just ban Italy and Portugal from playing.

I’m sure there are other suggestions out there that are better, so feel free to share.