Archive for July 12th, 2006

July12

Yes, I Think Most Drivers Are Better When They Menstruate

By: the mighty mjd

Well, I didn’t see this day coming. When I started this little blog a few years ago, I never thought they day would come when I’d be discussing the effects of someone’s menstrual cycle on their chances for success in NASCAR. But, thanks to IRL driver Ed Carpenter… today, that day has come. From the AP article…

A fellow IRL driver says Danica Patrick has what it takes to succeed if she switches to the paint-swapping world of NASCAR and she’s plenty aggressive in open-wheel racing when it’s “the right time of the month.”

Couldn’t agree more… and I think she’s even particularly aggressive when she’s experiencing a heavy flow. Do you suppose her IRL competitors have calendars in their garages, tracking Danica’s cycle, so that they can accurately predict how aggressively she’ll be racing on a given week?

Of course, it doesn’t surprise me when other people in the racing industry question Danica Patrick’s ability and credentials. All of that just goes with the territory. We’re talking about race car drivers, not the Algnoquin Round Table. I just didn’t think her cycle would ever be brought up.

I don’t really see much point in hammerring Ed Carptender for this. He was trying to compliment her, and I’m gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. But that doesn’t mean that he didn’t choose his words really, really, poorly. I’m not going to call him a neanderthal moron who spends his days painting dicks on the side of a cave. But it does sort of remind me of myself in junior high, when I was running around saying, “must be that time of the month,” about any girl I came in contact with, despite having no idea what that meant.

Posted in: Car Racing7 comments

July12

Second-Half-Ass Predictions

By: the mighty mjd

Only somewhat-educated guesses. I’m just throwing them out there. Feel free to ridicule me and/or add your own.

NL Division Winners: Mets, Cardinals, Padres.
NL Wildcard: Dodgers

AL Division Winners: Red Sox, White Sox, Angels
AL Wildcard: Tigers

NLCS: Mets over Padres
ALCS: Tigers over Red Sox

World Series: Tigers over Mets

Posted in: Baseball14 comments

July12

Mike James, Point Guard/Ho

By: the mighty mjd

I meant to comment on Mike James signing with Timberwolves, but never got around do it. I think it’s very solid move for Minnesota, as no team is going anywhere with Marko Jaric as a starting point guard. James is a very good player, does it on both ends of the floor, can score in bunches, and is versatile, if a bit undersized. I like him, and I think it’s a good signing, though it doesn’t come anywhere close to absolving Kevin McHale of the crime he continues to commit in Minnesota.

Anyway, the real reason for this point… is the following snippet of a Mike James interview that I spotted at FreeDarko.com. Mike James compares himself to a cheap prostitute… and it’s fantastic. I kinda wish I was Mike James. Can someone get the poor man a steak and lobster?

Mike James on being a cheap prostitute

Posted in: NBA2 comments

July12

Introducing Next Year’s Most Improved Player…

By: the mighty mjd

John Salmons. The Suns want the 6’7″ Sixers guard, and so do the Raptors, and it’s not a coincidence that both of those teams are run by people with the last name “Colangelo.” He’s a restricted free-agent, so the Sixers would have the option to match any offer Salmons gets, so a sign-and-trade is the most likely thing to happen.

If he goes to the Suns, and to a lesser degree, the Raptors, this will be the next guy that “comes out of nowhere.” Much like Boris Diaw, Raja Bell, Tim Thomas, Leandro Barbosa, etc. It’s perfect. Salmons is 6’7″, with some point guard skills… which means he could play just about anywhere on the floor for Phoenix. He’s long and athletic, and will get up and down the floor. And while he’s not a great 3-point shooter (33% on the career), he can shoot it a little bit, and 33% on a normal team is equivalent to about 42% in Phoenix.

And the Raptors want to play that same style, though they won’t be quite as good at it. Salmons would have similar opportunities there, too. I’m predicting that he’s going to double his statistical output in just about every category next year, while not actually improving that much as an individual player. Such is the magic of Mike D’Antoni.

Posted in: NBA9 comments

July12

The FCC Is Getting Carried Away

By: the mighty mjd

As part of the government’s quest to preserve your values, the FCC is asking various networks for tapes of sporting events that could possibly include profanity from players, coaches, and fans. Any little slip-ups are likely to draw huge fines.

Under federal court rulings and commission rules, material is indecent if it “in context, depicts or describes sexual or excretory activities or organs in a patently offensive manner as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium.” Indecent speech can be aired safely between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.

Now, I do believe in a certain amount of “decency” on the airwaves… which might come as a bit of a surprise to you, considering the outright filth that I produce here. But I do believe that when there’s a chance that young kids are watching, the networks have a responsibility to do what they can to keep the language clean, and I would take the bold stand of being against hardcore pornography being broadcast as a lead-in to SpongeBob Squarepants.

But at the same time, I like live television, and I understand that sometimes, you know, people say fuck. Things happen at live sporting events. At certain college arenas, the “asshole” chant is almost tradition. Bill Cowher can’t call a play without using the word “fuck.” I think it’s actually in some of their playcalls. “All right, let’s run Jumbo Right, Fuck 27, Slant Wing Z Cock Deep.”

Things just happen. And I think the networks do everything they can to keep it off the airwaves, with delays and such. But every now and then, a little bit of potty-mouth is going to get through. Broadcasters can be fined as much as $325,000 per violation, under a new law. And if networks keep getting hit with these huge fines, broadcasts are going to get farther and farther away from actually being “live.” Delays will be longer, microphones will get farther and farther from the field, and they’re going to air on the side of caution.

Just seems like the FCC should have better things to spend their time on.

Posted in: Media, Sports in General15 comments

July12

Marco Materazzi Is Not A Nice Man

By: the mighty mjd

This video’s been making the rounds in the last day or so… it gives a little bit of an idea of what Marco Materazzi is all about. Good player… and dirty son of a bitch. Picked this up at The Airing of Grievances, via The Sports Frog…

So there you go. Clearly, not a man that is at all concerned with fair play, or the well-being of his fellow competitors. He has no qualms about attempting to injure a guy, if he thinks it’ll give him an advantage.

In other news, FIFA president Sepp Blatter says that FIFA may step in and take the Golden Ball award away from Zidane… which I think would be absolute garbage. His play was still brilliant, whether or not a dirty player goaded him into a physical attack. If FIFA’s going to do this, I hope they spend some time investigating exactly what it was that provoked the attack. If they’re going to penalize Zidane, something might have to be in store for Materazzi, too.

But I still maintain that Zidane, by doing what he did, let Materazzi win. I know it’s only human nature to respond as he did, but… by doing that, Zidane gave Materazzi exactly what he wanted, he screwed himself, and he cost his team. But I agree with the A of G… it’s amazing that someone, somewhere along the line, hasn’t beaten the guy until he pissed blood.

Posted in: Dickheads, Soccer11 comments

July12

“Son Of A Terrorist Whore”

By: the mighty mjd

I felt about the Zidane incident kinda how I felt about Ron Artest going into the stands… sometimes, no matter how bad something is, the right thing to do is just sit and take it for the time being. However… according to some lip readers, Italian Marco Materazzi called Zidane a “son of a terrorist whore.”

Well, that’s just not a very nice thing to say. In fact, it’s the most vicious trash talk I’ve ever heard of. And before we get to Zidane’s reaction, first I’ve got to sort of begrudgingly tip my cap to Materazzi. I mean, it’s a terrible thing to say, and he’s a vile son of a bitch for saying it, but when the goal is to get under a guy’s skin, well… hats off. You’re going all the way on that one, all morals be damned. Your committment to your ideals can’t be questioned, and you really can’t do much better than that. And it has the added bonus of making me no longer feel bad for any messed-up thing I’ve used to heckle a player.

Oh, and for good measure, Materazzi also called Zidane a “negro,” which is about the Italian equivalent of calling someone the n-word. Nice touch, cocksucker.

As for Zidane, who’s mother is Algerian (and also quite ill at the moment)… I mean, the head butt is understandable, but… you still can’t do it. In a way, it sounds crazy, but in that situation, with his teammates depending on him, the right thing to do is just take it and not respond. I’m not saying that’s what I would’ve done, and I’m not saying that it would’ve been easy, but… if he doesn’t respond at all, he stays in the game, he gives France a better shot to win, and he doesn’t tarnish his legacy. If he responds with a head butt to the chest, he gets tossed, everyone in the world calls him a dirty bastard, and he may have cost France at a shot at a World Cup. And he can always hunt down Materazzi a week later and beat him to death on his own time.

Son of a terrorist whore. That’s messed up.

Posted in: Soccer10 comments

July12

On The All-Star Games…

By: the mighty mjd

I remember being very entertained by these things as a child, and I don’t know if it’s because I’m older and not quite as easily entertained, or that the games themselves just suck, but like most everyone else, I don’t see a lot of appeal in All-Star contests anymore. As I watched the All-Star game last night, I just kept thinking that it seemed like Joe Buck was having a much better time than anyone else in the building or watching at home. Let’s rank the All-Star games from the three major American sports.

3. NFL Pro Bowl. It sucks terribly, and I’m not sure that anyone even cares. I don’t think it can be saved, and even if it could, it’s probably not worth it. It’s after the season, no one’s trying, no one cares, the uniforms are ass-ugly, and it might just be me, but I have no desire to watch millionaires vacation.

2. MLB All-Star Game. As much as I think it’s unfair, the decision to put home field advantage in the World Series on the line has actually made it a little more competitive. 20 or so players didn’t make it into the game last night, which is a good thing, in my opinion. But it still has sort of an exhibition feel, where it’s all about everyone feeling good and smiling.

1. NBA All-Star Game. It’s just as non-competitive as the MLB game, but what separates it is the individual showmanship. If a basketball player wants to show off, he can throw a ball off the backboard, catch it, do a 360, and throw it down in someone’s face. If a baseball player wants to show off, what’s he going to do, walk around the bases slowly? There’s just more room for individual creativity in basketball than any of the others. The NBA All-Star game is also helped by the presence of Charles Barkley and Kenny Smith, while the baseball game has Joe Buck and Tim McCarver.

Posted in: Baseball, NBA, NFL5 comments

July12

Pierre Pierce Is A Messed-Up Guy

By: the mighty mjd

You may remember Pierre Pierce… he was a standout basketball player at Iowa before being arrested and dismissed from the team. He was charged with a list of crimes at the time, but specifics weren’t really known… at least, not as well-known as they are now. Courtesy of Deadspin, at hawkcentral.com…

Pierce, who appeared in a prison-issued blue shirt and blue jeans, was asked to describe his offense.

“On January 27, I physically assaulted my girlfriend at the time; I verbally abused her, I sexually assaulted her, touched her breasts and attempted to rape her,” Pierce said.

He went on to describe how he trashed the victim’s apartment and threatened her by referring to a kitchen knife that he might turn on her.

Just bizarre… and not just because of the disturbing violence involved, but because of his honesty about it. And it’s everything you thought it would be. The word “no” meant nothing to him, he felt like he was invincible because of his status as a basketball star, and he wasn’t thinking about anyone but himself.

I guess the guy’s going to be out on parole soon, and while he does sound like he’s more rehabilitated than Red in Shawshank, but still… he’s going to end up doing less than a year for some pretty serious crimes. I’m no one’s judge or jury, but… I dunno. That seems a bit light. Best of luck to all involved.

Posted in: College Hoops, Criminality0 comments

July12

A Lot Of People Watched Zinedine Zidane Flip Out

By: the mighty mjd

The World Cup Final drew 16.9 million viewers in the United States… a number that shocks me a little bit. I’d have never guessed it would be that high. According to this New York Times article, that’s about 4 million more people than the average rating for an NBA Finals game, it’s almost as much as the 17.5 million that watched the NCAA championship between Florida and UCLA, and it’s roughly half the number of people who have been blown by Paris Hilton. And the 16.9 million people were pulled in on a Sunday afternoon, as opposed to primetime, when it’s a lot easier to bring in a huge audience.

That 16.9 million does include 5 million viewers from Univision, on top of the 11.9 on ABC…. so neither of the individual ratings is going to be setting records. But still, it proves that there’s an audience in America that is, at the very least, soccer-curious. Now, I’m not predicting that the MLS is ever going to take the nation by storm, but if they can improve their marketing, their level of play, and maybe get some help from a decent American performance on the World Cup stage… maybe there’s a market there for them after all.

Posted in: Media, Soccer, Uncategorized3 comments

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