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The FCC Is Getting Carried Away

As part of the government’s quest to preserve your values, the FCC is asking various networks for tapes of sporting events that could possibly include profanity from players, coaches, and fans. Any little slip-ups are likely to draw huge fines.

Under federal court rulings and commission rules, material is indecent if it “in context, depicts or describes sexual or excretory activities or organs in a patently offensive manner as measured by contemporary community standards for the broadcast medium.” Indecent speech can be aired safely between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m.

Now, I do believe in a certain amount of “decency” on the airwaves… which might come as a bit of a surprise to you, considering the outright filth that I produce here. But I do believe that when there’s a chance that young kids are watching, the networks have a responsibility to do what they can to keep the language clean, and I would take the bold stand of being against hardcore pornography being broadcast as a lead-in to SpongeBob Squarepants.

But at the same time, I like live television, and I understand that sometimes, you know, people say fuck. Things happen at live sporting events. At certain college arenas, the “asshole” chant is almost tradition. Bill Cowher can’t call a play without using the word “fuck.” I think it’s actually in some of their playcalls. “All right, let’s run Jumbo Right, Fuck 27, Slant Wing Z Cock Deep.”

Things just happen. And I think the networks do everything they can to keep it off the airwaves, with delays and such. But every now and then, a little bit of potty-mouth is going to get through. Broadcasters can be fined as much as $325,000 per violation, under a new law. And if networks keep getting hit with these huge fines, broadcasts are going to get farther and farther away from actually being “live.” Delays will be longer, microphones will get farther and farther from the field, and they’re going to air on the side of caution.

Just seems like the FCC should have better things to spend their time on.


  1. You know what? I don’t get it? Who cares about delays? So what if it takes longer? I mean it’s ten seconds lets say? It will all go at the same pace anyway. I think you’re being too philosophical about this. So what if it;s not live? You’d rather go against the FCC? This is AMerica. With all the freedom we have, we should bow down to the FCC and say thank you. I salute the FCC. They tried it with Howard and Howard moved to Sirius. Now Howard’s better than ever. Listen to XM sports if it bothers you.

  2. that’s just what network tv needs…another reason for leagues, games and fans to move to cable. at least the networks can still keep showing Friends reruns.

  3. Taylor Taylor

    Beleive it or not, golf will get it the worst, with everybody’s all American Tiger leading the F Bomb charge.

  4. jerloma jerloma

    “All right, let’s run Jumbo Right, Fuck 27, Slant Wing Z Cock Deep.”

    They got rid of that one after Kordell left.

  5. Bouj Bouj

    My problem with the delay is that when I don’t want to listen to the TV announcers (and there are a TON of them you don’t want to hear), I put the radio broadcast on. Invariably, there is a 3-7s lag between the action and the radio (radio is usually ahead).

    This is inconvenient to say the least. If the radio broadcasters would match the delay it might not be so bad. In Houston, the Texans’ radio broadcast is sync’ed to to TV broadcast on purpose (so we don’t have to listen to CBS’ 7th-level broadcast team) as a service to the audience. The Astros do not follow suit, so the radio is a couple of seconds ahead.

    The worst I’ve seen was Sunday during the World Cup Final. I had ABC’s broadcast on, muted, while I listened to the Spanish radio (done by Andres Cantor). It was a full 5 seconds ahead. Cantor went nuts before the penalty was even lined up on TV.

  6. Michael Powell Michael Powell

    I know that I don’t run the FCC anymore, but I feel that enough time has passed to make it known that I am one giant fucking douche.

  7. Dan LeBastard Dan LeBastard

    the FCC can only hope to contain my perspiration.

  8. Who are these people the FCC is trying to protect? WHO DOESN’T SWEAR?!?!

  9. NJP NJP

    You know, if I could take $325,000 from you every time you swore, I’d look for every chance I could to collect. That’s like a license to print money! Which I guess the government already has… so the FCC should just back the fuck off.

  10. the mighty mjd the mighty mjd

    True story… last week, my brother bet me that I couldn’t go three hours without saying anything obscene. I lasted fifteen minutes, before I called him a pussbag.

    But I got begged a second chance, and in my own defense… I went the next like four hours without uttering anything filthy at all.

  11. rob rob

    >But I got begged a second chance, and in my own
    >defense… I went the next like four hours without
    >uttering anything filthy at all.

    Afterwards, did you remove the duct tape inch by inch, or in one quick swoop? Or were you sleeping?

    Try this bet on your next podcast with Danks paying up.

  12. plk plk

    On NBA TV this past year they played a few games sans announcers. It was just that zip line cam and court/crowd microphones turned up. It was some wack game betwen the Sonics and the Rockets, but it was dope to hear the real game happening, to hear Chris Wilcox say “Fuck that” to lame call, hear Yao-Ming’s broken smack and the sound a body makes crumpling under the board trying for a rebound.

    The point is I think there should be two broadcasts of each game, one the FCC can make as vanilla as possible and then the real one with all the nuts and shit in it.

  13. I was just curious if that play by Bill Cowher was in the NFL Head Coach game. EA did say they were going for realism.

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