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Large Benjamin Continues To Be A Large Tool
July 14th, 2006

Ben Roethlisberger won’t be doing any public service announcements imploring the youth to wear their motorcycle helmets. He was asked about the subject on Good Morning America, and this was his response.

“Some people feel that, you know, I probably should be doing that and being a big advocate for that. But for me, I’m going to let people make their own decisions… So I don’t think you’ll see me doing any kind of billboards or advertisements.”

FREEDOM, BABY, YEAH! That’s great, man, you wouldn’t want to influence any kids on this subject. They should make their own decisions about the controversial issue of whether or not it’s better to have a helmet on when your face goes crashing into pavement. It’s such a toss-up.

I don’t feel like the guy is obligated to do any public service announcements if he doesn’t want to… that’s up to him. But it feels like he’s refusing to acknowledge that it’s even a good idea to have a helmet on. No one’s asking him to go in front of Congress and insist on mandatory helmet laws in every state, but would it kill him to tell the youngsters out there that a helmet was a good idea? Why can’t he do that?

And Ben also had some further explanation of his lack of a helmet on the fateful day.

“I had just gotten my bike all custom done. It was painted up and it was really nice,” he said. “I was supposed to take my helmet that day with me to get painted to match my bike so I could wear it all the time when I rode that bike and I totally forgot it.”

Yeah, Large Benjamin, you can’t wear a helmet if it doesn’t match your bike! How lame would that be? If your helmet isn’t custom painted to match your super-awesome bike, then you can’t wear it all the time. Everyone knows that. Non-matching helmets are for dorks! You know what the most important aspect of motorcycle safety is? Helmet-motorcycle paint scheme continuity. It’s a must.

I’m done with this dickbag. If karma exists, his QB rating will be about 11.2 next year and Ray Lewis will sexually assault him.



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18 Responses to “Large Benjamin Continues To Be A Large Tool”

  1. seamus Says:

    What an ultramegadouche. Let’s insist on consistency from him at least: He should not wear his football helmet when the Stillers play in their road whites.




  2. Babs Says:

    FYI, those in the medical community refer to motorbikes as “donor bikes,” exactly because of fuckups like him. They provide a great source of young, healthy organs available for transplant from brain-dead youth. Hmmmm…on second thought, I betcha Ben’s liver isn’t exactly healthy….




  3. tony Says:

    I wonder if he rushed right out to pound his new custom painted helmet into the side of some old lady’s Buick, then crumpled it up and skidded it across some asphalt.

    You know, so it would match.




  4. Dmo Says:

    What an asshole? Just man up and admit that you screwed up. When even Kellen Winslow realizes that riding a bike after nearly dying might not be such a good idea, you’re obviously an idiot. Man, I hope Ben decides to ride his bike w/o his helmet in the near future, and I hope that when he does the pavement teaches him another lesson. Maybe by the 3rd or 4th time, he’ll get it.




  5. Keith Says:

    MJD, we finally agree on something.

    Everything I have heard from people who have interacted with Big Ben (mostly reporters from Pittsburgh two papers) confirms that the guy is a major jack ass.

    Big Ben isn’t exactly blazing a new trail by being an athlete who thinks his shit smells better than everyone else’s, but his refusal to be humbled by a near-death experience shows just how oblivious the guy is.

    The guy is making a mistake. Sure, die-hard Steeler’s fans will always love him, but by being the quarterback of arguably the leagues most popular team, Big Ben could rule the NFL if he played his cards correctly. He is not playing his cards correctly.




  6. Adam Says:

    Obviously Big Ben’s crash resulted in some brain damage.




  7. PRIMANTI'S BROTHER Says:

    Wow. Pittsburgh finally gets the first good QB since Bradshaw and he turns out to be equally as retarded. Hell, even Bradshaw gave Ben GOOD advice…




  8. DookieStyle Says:

    Listen,

    Who is he to be anyone’s safety message. I support him in his decision. And you are a douche.




  9. Alex Altman Says:

    “Who is he to be anyone’s safety message.”

    He’s a public figure that many young people identify with and try to emulate, and he just got his face smashed to pieces because he wasn’t wearing a helmet. He has the opportunity to influence a lot of people in a very important and positive way, and he’s refusing to do it.

    That said, I don’t necessarily think he should have to do it, but the explanation he offers, that he wants to let people make their own decision, doesn’t make sense to me. Does he let his wide receivers “make their own decision” about what routes to run? Of course not, he tells them what to do, and they do it. So if he can tell his teammates what to do, why can’t he at least recommend helmets to everyone?

    Maybe he just needs a little more time to get perspective and learn from what just happened to him, but I’m not holding my breath.




  10. Rhondda Nunes Says:

    yeah….don’t hold your breath.You’d die before he’d change his mind.

    He sounds like a little kid:

    “really…I could help….but i don’t wanna….the wind in my hair as i ride my bike counts more than me being a good example for kids…what?!You can’t make me be a good example for kids!”You just can’t!I’d have to give my permission for that & I don’t wanna….”




  11. KP Says:

    Why would you want someone that broke the law and was a complete idiot to be a safety spokesman? That’s like asking Barry Bonds to speak to children about not using steriods. A little credibility would be nice. When he say’s “it’s not my place” I think that’s a nice way of saying, “I am an idiot that doesn’t believe in wearing helmets, I don’t deserve to be a spokesman for safety.”
    And why is MJD so anti-Ben? There’s obviously more to it than this motorcycle thing.
    Is it because the Chargers could have had him but instead picked a guy that refused to play for such a poorly run team and now have a guy that they’ve paid a boatload of money to for two seasons and he hasn’t started a game???????????
    Meanwhile your boy is like 27-4 as a starter.




  12. jerloma Says:

    I’ve thought Ben was a bit of an arrogant dick for the last 2 years. There’s something about him that doesn’t seem all that genuine. As a Steeler fan, as long as he keeps throwing TDs and behaves like a fairly decent citizen, he doesn’t really need to be the kind of guy I’d want to have a beer with.

    I am a little confused by some of these takes though. He’s not obligated to do any PSA’s but if he doesn’t, that makes a him a giant asshole?

    He tells his receivers what routes to run so he should tell people to wear helemets?

    Kellen Winslow?

    what?




  13. Alex Altman Says:

    “He tells his receivers what routes to run so he should tell people to wear helemets?”

    Look, all I’m saying is that he obviously recognizes that there are times when it is reasonable and appropriate to tell other people what to do. So his excuse for not doing PSAs, that he doesn’t want to tell people what to do, doesn’t make sense. There has to be another reason, and until he gives that reason, people are going to be annoyed with him.

    “He’s not obligated to do any PSA’s but if he doesn’t, that makes a him a giant asshole?”

    He doesn’t have to do PSAs, but he should at least find some way to tell kids that wearing a helmet is a good idea. Instead, when he was asked directly about whether he would do that, he basically refused to make any recommendation at all. No one is asking him to make anyone’s decisions for them, just encouraging people to wear a helmet would be enough. The fact that he won’t even say a word in support of wearing helmets after what just happened to him kinda does make him an asshole.

    “Why would you want someone that broke the law and was a complete idiot to be a safety spokesman?”

    I don’t know, maybe they want him to say something like, “Kids, look at what happened to me because I wasn’t wearing a helmet, if you think it can’t happen to you, think again.”, or something to that effect. I think five metal plates in his head give him plenty of credibility to recommend helmets, since he knows from experience what can happen if you don’t wear one.




  14. HuangKong Says:

    i think jayson williams should be giving PSAs about …well, about anything. that would be the ULTIMATE in comedy.




  15. jerloma Says:

    mjd, how’s Ben taking the news that you’re done with him anyway?




  16. the mighty mjd Says:

    You know, I think he’s pretty upset about it. But he got over Gulbis, surely he can get over me.




  17. BBC Says:

    ‘But it feels like he’s refusing to acknowledge that it’s even a good idea to have a helmet on.’

    Really? Did he make you feel that way before or after he said if he ever rode again it’d be with a helmet?




  18. the mighty mjd Says:

    Would be nice if you could believe anything he said, wouldn’t it?




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