The Charlotte Bobcats, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer, are about to hire Charles Oakley to fill a “soon-to-be-named” position. I don’t know if that means he’ll be a member of the coaching staff, a member of the front office, or just someone who beats the hell out of Sean May in practice every day. It could be that his official job title will be “Guy Who Hangs Out And Drinks And Smokes And Golfs With The New Part Owner.” That being Michael Jordan, of course.
Whatever the position, a franchise absolutely cannot go wrong in hiring Charles Oakley. In all seriousness, I think he’d be a great big man coach. At 6′9″, he could guard anyone in the league, of any size, and that’s something of a lost art. You don’t need to be 7-feet tall to guard 7-footers. Oak always worked hard, he always played physical, he knew all the little tricks, and he lives his life on the verge of kicking someone’s ass. It doesn’t even matter who. MJ’s tenure in Charlotte is already better than his stay in Washington.
Also, I’m proud to introduce the newest category here on themightymjd.com… the Charles Oakley category. It’s sparsely populated, I’m sorry to say, but that’s how much I admire the man. I did add a mostly heretofore-unseen feature I did back in June of 2003 on the team I’d put together of NBA guys who would be ideally suited to play in a prison league. I’m particularly proud that I had Stephen Jackson on the list, even before he went nuts during the Artest fiasco. And you can probably guess who’s the captain of the team…
Chucky Atkins Jr. Says:
July 17th, 2006 at 10:21 am
It’s funny that you linked the All-Prison Team feature. That’s actually how I became aware of this site. A few years ago, I was bored at work, so I started googling for information regarding the Charles Oakley/Jeff McInnis incident(s). One of the places that Google pointed me to was that feature. I’ve been an avid MJD reader ever since. Bringing people together…one of Oak’s many remarkable gifts.
mc Says:
July 17th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
My discovery of mjd was through a google search for “Ron Mexico.” Been here ever since. Oak’s fist, Vick’s wang…what other body parts have brought people to mjd?
HuangKong Says:
July 17th, 2006 at 2:53 pm
it’d be hi-LAR-ious if the bobcats next hire was the donkey who thinks he looks like michael jordan. he’d be like, “i’m sick and tired of getting incredible job offers because people think i look like jordan!”
Kevin Says:
July 17th, 2006 at 3:05 pm
I started reading mjd after the all prison league team post, and read it for the first time when linked from this post. I love it. Being a Portland (OR) native, it’s always fun to talk about how sad the Jail Blazers are, and I’m sure we could compile a team just from former Blazers that could contend with any jailyard team. Anyways, I would like to see more lists like that one. Maybe the all whiteboy team. Get Maravich and Stockton to run the point, maybe give Detlef Schrempf some love and put him on the bench.
Adam Says:
July 17th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
That all-prison team entry was priceless. But I could have saved you some time by just saying that the team could easily consist of every former or current Trailblazer.
syzygy Says:
July 17th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
I stopped being a Knicks fan when Oak was traded for Camby. That man was the Knicks.
the mighty mjd Says:
July 18th, 2006 at 3:39 am
It’s cool to hear about how people discovered the site… it kinda blows my mind that people have been reading for literally years, and I haven’t driven them away in some way. High-fives all around.
The Blue Baller Says:
September 26th, 2006 at 4:01 pm
MJD, we are kindred spirits my friend!
http://theflagrancy.typepad.com/the_flagrancy/2005/12/on_white_women.html
http://theflagrancy.typepad.com/the_flagrancy/2006/08/oak_on_killing.html
Do Oak proud. Or its your ass.