It’s been a big month for head-butting. Bobo Brazil would be proud.

This guy was on his horse, and the horse jumped a little bit, and the jockey landed on his feet. I don’t know if a horse is smart enough to throw someone off, but do it gingerly, as as not to hurt someone, but if that’s possible, I think it’s what happened here. And then the jack-ass head-butted the horse.

There’s no chance that it was incidental contact. ESPN has video of it here. He rears back with the head, and then… he headbutts the horse. Through some special software that I purchased when Barbaro crippled himself, I was able to play the video on my computer, and then hear the horse’s thoughts.

“Alright man, you’re screwing with me a little bit, and I don’t like it. I’m gonna get you off here. Alright, there you go. Safe landing, there you go. Now, I was thinking maybe we could–HEY! OUCH! Hey, asshole! Did you just fucking head-butt me? I didn’t deserve–oh, what’s that? Oh yeah? Get back on, motherfucker, see what happens. I ain’t playin’, man, get back on. What? Oh, That’s what I thought, punk-ass bitch. Yeah, you look pretty in lemon yellow, you pillow-biting midget prick. I’ll kill you.”

I just can’t believe that someone headbutted a horse. I don’t know if it hurt the animal, or if he intended it to hurt the animal, but… that’s just dumb. What sort of result are you expecting from headbutting a horse? Is this common? Is this a method of equine motivation? Is he expecting the horse to go, “Oh, you headbutted me. I understand now. Thank you, sir.”

And if you have to strike a horse, at least be a man and punch it in the face, Mongo style.

I don’t imagine that being speared in the chest by one of those things pictured to your right is a lot of fun, but it happened to a guy this weekend. A couple of experienced marlin fisherman were doing their thing off the coast of Bermuda when they had a big marlin hooked. They were about to reel him in, when the fish decided he wasn’t goin’ out like that.

The big fella changed directions, lunged at the guy, speared him in the chest, and knocked him into the ocean. According to the doctor, he was damn lucky that he didn’t get killed. He’s currently recovering from surgery, and is listed in “stable” condition.

I sorta feel bad for the guy, and I’m sorry that it happened. But, you know… he’s on the fish’s territory, and he is attempting to kill. When you fuck with mother nature, sometimes, mother nature fucks back. I’m surprised this doesn’t happen more often. I’m glad that a marlin finally had the balls to step up and use that giant poker on his snout. I think he’s entitled.

So, best wishes to the guy who was injured. And to the fish… hell yeah, my man. Score one for all the marlins out there who are currently stuffed and mounted in some guy’s den.