It’s been a big month for head-butting. Bobo Brazil would be proud.
This guy was on his horse, and the horse jumped a little bit, and the jockey landed on his feet. I don’t know if a horse is smart enough to throw someone off, but do it gingerly, as as not to hurt someone, but if that’s possible, I think it’s what happened here. And then the jack-ass head-butted the horse.
There’s no chance that it was incidental contact. ESPN has video of it here. He rears back with the head, and then… he headbutts the horse. Through some special software that I purchased when Barbaro crippled himself, I was able to play the video on my computer, and then hear the horse’s thoughts.
“Alright man, you’re screwing with me a little bit, and I don’t like it. I’m gonna get you off here. Alright, there you go. Safe landing, there you go. Now, I was thinking maybe we could–HEY! OUCH! Hey, asshole! Did you just fucking head-butt me? I didn’t deserve–oh, what’s that? Oh yeah? Get back on, motherfucker, see what happens. I ain’t playin’, man, get back on. What? Oh, That’s what I thought, punk-ass bitch. Yeah, you look pretty in lemon yellow, you pillow-biting midget prick. I’ll kill you.”
I just can’t believe that someone headbutted a horse. I don’t know if it hurt the animal, or if he intended it to hurt the animal, but… that’s just dumb. What sort of result are you expecting from headbutting a horse? Is this common? Is this a method of equine motivation? Is he expecting the horse to go, “Oh, you headbutted me. I understand now. Thank you, sir.”
And if you have to strike a horse, at least be a man and punch it in the face, Mongo style.
mc
Candygram for Mongo.
July 25, 2006 at 2:06 am
insomniac
If you shoot him, you’ll just make him mad.
July 25, 2006 at 3:05 am
Rhondda Nunes
ah…..he head-butts precisely cuz’ he is a pillow-biting-looks-good-in-mellow-yellow.Easier for the cop out.
He’s not manly enough to land it in the face on said horsey; Mongo style.
Wouldn’t risk the equine slobber. Too messy.Gets on the mellow yellow.Why have to take the racing silks to the dry cleaners if you can avoid it?
July 25, 2006 at 4:44 am
Jerseyrules
Love the Bobo Brazil reference, MJD, not giving away my age, but I actually went to a “wrestling” match, where good ole Bobo was the headliner.
July 25, 2006 at 9:46 am
Old School
Bobo Brazil…with “the coconut head-butt!”
Man why’d you go there?
Now “The Unpredictable Johnny Rodz”, “The Big Cat” Ernie Ladd, and Ivan “The Polish Hammer” Putski are dancing in my head.
Not :Haystacks” Calhoun though, not light enough on his feet. :)
July 25, 2006 at 2:21 pm
The Big Picture
…and the horse was named barbaro.
July 25, 2006 at 9:46 pm
dude999
http://www.thefinalanswertoeverything.com/
Hopefully the horse kicked him in the nuts.
July 25, 2006 at 11:56 pm
tony
Between the letters from pets and this analysis straight from the horse’s mind, you are truly a modern day Dr. Doolittle.
Bravo, MJD. Bravo.
July 26, 2006 at 12:00 am