Archive for August, 2006

Well, here’s some drama to mix into an otherwise smooth Team USA ride. Gilbert Arenas says that the “groin injury” that caused him to be removed from the USA’s roster was an excuse so he’d avoid the humiliation of being cut. Some quotes from a Washington Post article

“They already knew what they wanted. They said it was a tryout, but they already had their team selected.”

“No joke, I felt like I was the 16th man on a 15-man roster. You are there to support your team and support your country and be happy to play but you know, I did everything they wanted me to do; but if I did everything they wanted me to do, why am I on the bubble of getting cut? I sacrificed. You’ve got LeBron being LeBron. You’ve got Carmelo being Carmelo. You’ve got D-Wade being D-Wade. Why can’t I be me? Why do I have to transform? I did that and now you are going to cut me?”

“The disappointing part was talking to Colangelo and he said, ‘I heard you want to go home,’. I told him that I was hurt but I didn’t know how serious it was and that I didn’t want to hold up a spot for somebody else. He told me, ‘I’ve been talking to the coaches and you’re on the bubble anyway, so you can go if you want.’ I was like, all right.”

And he’s also got some vitriol stored up for Team USA assistant coaches Mike D’Antoni and Nate McMillan.

“I’m going to be the silent assassin this year. I can’t wait to play the Suns and Portland. Against Portland, Nate McMillan, I’m going to try to score 100 in two games and against D’Antoni, I’m going to score 100 in two games. I’m going to try.”

On a certain level, I feel for the guy. He wanted to be on the team, probably worse than anyone else, and he busted his ass to prepare. But in some of these quotes, you can see why he didn’t fit.

Some of these comments are all over the place. If he felt like the team was made up before anyone even got to camp, then that’s a legitimate beef. But the rest of the stuff… I don’t know. Its so scattered.

First, he complains about having to change his game, and then says he did change it, but was cut anyway. I’d suggest that if you’re complaining about it in the first place, that you’re not going to suddenly change your ways. And if you’re complaining about it at all, why is he even invited? I’m sorry, but we’re stocked at the superstar position. If you’re not OK with that, go home. No hard feelings, just take the summer off and relax.

Of course, the other issue is asking superstarts to become role players, when we could just invite role players to begin with … but that’s for another time.

The exchange with Colangelo, in my opinion, doesn’t really flatter Gilbert, either. If I’m in Colangelo’s position, and a player says to me, for any reason, “…but I don’t want to hold up a spot for someone else,” then I’m probably going to send them home. If the injury was one that could be played through, tell him it’s fine, and then go prove it. Fight for your spot. If I heard a half-hearted response like that, I’d have done the same thing.

And the thing about revenge on D’Antoni and McMillan … that’s just kind of sad. “I still love Team USA, and I want to be a part of it, and I’m rooting for them, but you know, I want revenge on the assistant coaches, too.” That’s probably not the best attitude to take. Nor is it something you should go public with.

I love you, Gilbert, but you’re confusing me here.

Just to point you in the direction of some of the things I’ve been doing over at The Fanhouse. You can find all of my things here, but I’ll hit some of the highlights for you.

• A hard-hitting feature on the girl jerseys for sale at NFLShop.com.

• The Vikings may be interested in Todd Pinkston. Len Pasquarelli is definitely interested in Todd Pinkston. What’s his deal with that?

• Billy Volek… skirtbag.

• This guy on the Lions roster, a long time ago, hid in the woods at the end of training camp because he thought the team wouldn’t cut him if they couldn’t find him.

I saw this yesterday morning on Deadspin, and I really can’t believe it’s not getting more attention know. I mean, it’s not everyday that Latrell Sprewell gets in trouble for choking someone. Okay, that happens. But when he grabbed P.J. Carlesimo’s neck, it wasn’t during sex. I don’t think so, anyway, but there may have been some sexual tension in the air. You know how basketball practice can be.

In this brand new Sprewell choking incident, however, the choking is alleged to have gone on during sex. A woman is accusing Latrell Sprewell of choking her while they were doing the hibbity-dibbity on his boat, Milwaukee’s Best. Well, of course it was on his boat named Milwaukee’s Best. Where else are you going to choke a woman? She complained to police, they noticed red marks on her neck, and they’re investigating. Carlesimo may end up be a character witness in this thing.

I can’t relate here. What is he, shooting a snuff film? There are people I want to have sex with, and there are people I want to choke. In very few instances are they the same people. And even if they are, I don’t know if I’d want to do both at the same time. Ann Coulter may be the lone exception.

Not to undermine the seriousness of the allegations, but … when you tell Latrell Sprewell that you’ll have sex with him on his boat named Milwaukee’s Best … I mean, what good is going to come from that? He’s not in the NBA anymore. Fucking him on his boat named Milwaukee’s Best isn’t going to get you good tickets to the next game, it’s not going to get you into the nice hotels, and clubs, and parties. It’s just going to get you choked.

• Unsilent Majority has put together a list of the best pre-game rap songs over at Kissing Suzy Kolber, as a compliment to Big Daddy Drew’s Pre-Game Playlist Fit For a Fucking Badass. Fantastic. Any other suggestions? I’d go with Shook Ones, Part II, by Mobb Deep. It makes me feel like I have it in me to actually murder someone. Of course, Paul Maguire used to make me feel that same thing.

• I know there are some of you out there who always hated Mike Tyson, and always wanted to see him knocked down a peg … is this low enough? He’s being paid to “work out” in Vegas casinos, and people can come by and watch. He’s a glorified casino greeter, is embarrassed to do it, but he needs the money. Ouch.

• It was awesome that Freddy Garcia beaned Delmon Young in his first Major League at-bat the other night. That’s really all I have to say on the subject. And it was pretty awesome that he responded with a 2-run jack, as well.

Don King claims that a fighter he’s managing, Nikolay Valuev, is dating Maria Sharapova. He also claims that he’s got an ongoing dialogue with George W. Bush. Fuck it, why not?

Don Nelson’s coming to town. The Warriors had been considering this move for a long time, but were a little embarrassed to make it official. It is, after all, Don Nelson. But when the Raiders brought back Jeff George yesterday, the Warriors front office looked around the room at each other, shrugged, and said, “Ah, fuck it.” There’s no way it’s going to be that embarrassing.

I actually think it’s a great move for the Warriors. Are the going to win a title with Don Nelson at the helm? Under no circumstances. Are they going to improve their record, and be a hell of a lot of fun to watch? Oh yeah. Get your track shoes on, Troy Murphy.

And before I go any farther, I should take a second to point out that I have no reason to believe that Don Nelson is an alcoholic, other than the fact that he looks like he’s a drunk. I mean, look at him. There’s no way that guy isn’t completely in the bag. ESPN showed kind of a career retrospective on him last night, and it didn’t look like a guy who was progressively getting older. It looked like a guy who was getting progressively deeper and deeper into a handle of Beam.

The Greek and I have this little game where we try to guess what NBA coaches drink, based on their appearance. For instance, Rick Adleman was dry martinis, Gregg Popovich looks like a Budweiser guy (though I know he’s a wine afficianado), and Pat Riley drinks brandy. The correct answer on Don Nelson, however, was “anything in the fucking liquor cabinet.” But again… that’s just how the guy looks.

Anyway, back to basketball for a second. Baron Davis just became another leading candidate for comeback player of the year award. He’s probably going to score a ton of points in Golden State, as they’ll probably be at least close to the league lead in shot attempts. And you know Baron is taking a ton of them.

And the roster sets up pretty well for a Nellie team. Their bigs suck, but that’s alright. They’ll play small, beat you up and down the floor, and create some mismatches. Troy Murphy’s probably going to play a lot of center, and they’ll just fill in everywhere else with smalls and swingmen, and see what happens.

This is a stroke of genius, really. The guys at Golden State of Mind are understandably psyched. And really, what’s the absolute worst that could happen? The Warriors lose a bunch of games while scoring 110 points? That still beats the hell out of losing a bunch of games while scoring 85.

He’s not going to win you a championship, because he doesn’t believe in defense (and the talent also clearly isn’t there), but that’s a faraway goal anyway. They’ll be better. And more fun. It can’t miss.

As I’m sure you know by now, the Oakland Raiders signed Jeff George yesterday. And if you didn’t know that, you probably think I’m fucking with you. But much like Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross… I am not fuckin’ with you.

I really wish it had been some team other than the Raiders who signed him, so I could root for him. Unfortunately, no team but the Raiders would do that. Especially this close to the season starting. When you just spent a lot of money on a free agent quarterback. And the signee in question is 38 years old. And has not played a down of competitive football since 2001, when gas was $1.70 per gallon.

If the Raiders are going to do this, I hope they go all the way with him. I want him to fucking start. I want him to have that mustache, that miniature mullet, and I want him throwing the ball for them on Sundays. And he just might have a chance to do that.

I’d bet nearly anything that Randy Moss, at some point, will be calling for Jeff George to start. Say what you want about Jeff George, but I’m positive that he still throws a damn pretty ball. Randy Moss will get in practice with him, he’ll see those tightly-spiraled, perfectly-arched deep balls coming his way, and he’ll say, “This beats the hell out of Aaron Brooks, Andrew Walter, and Marques Tuiasosopo.” That’s going to happen.

There’s no downside to this. Al Davis hasn’t done anything this brilliant since drafting Todd Marinovich.

And here’s Jeff George rubbing in a victory against his former employer, the Atlanta Falcons. Jim Kelly sounds pissed. The best thing about this clip? It took place the last time the NFL was on NBC. Does Jeff George know it ever left?

From the “Scene and Heard” part of this article in the Las Vegas Review-Journal, via BenMaller.com

More on Mike Tyson’s bizarre go-go dancing marathon at OPM (Forum Shops at Caesars), that ended at dawn Saturday. Tyson “borrowed” about two dozen bar towels to hand out as souvenirs. He’d towel off the sweat and toss the keepsakes into the crowd of female spectators. After leaving the club, my spies say, Tyson became enraged and threatened to pulverize three guys before security intervened. Then he grabbed a female tourist who was snapping some photos, and the slurring ex-champ invoked his four favorite words, which began with “Show me your ….”

YES. He’s still got it.

That’s my man. Still doing that smooth thing the way only he can. And how lucky are those people that got the bar towels that Mike Tyson used to wipe the sweat on his forehead that accumulated while he was in the midst of a go-go dancing marathon. If you were going to list one of those on EBay, how would you even begin to give the listing a title?

I really want Tyson to fight again … not in the traditional boxing sense, but … I dunno. For example, I’d really like to have seen him beat the hell out of the afore-mentioned three guys. I know he’s done as a traditional boxer, and him getting in the ring again would be a disaster, but why couldn’t Fox, like twice a week, just put Tyson in the ring with some average guy off the street?

There’s gotta be a lonely accountant out there somewhere who would take a savage bare-knuckles beating from Mike Tyson for a couple hundred grand. And it’s not like this is below FOX or something. They show worse things on any random Tuesday night. They should make this happen.

As I’m sure you know by now, the Oakland Raiders signed Jeff George yesterday. And if you didn’t know that, you probably think I’m fucking with you. But much like Alec Baldwin in Glengarry Glen Ross… I am not fuckin’ with you.

I really wish it had been some team other than the Raiders who signed him, so I could root for him. Unfortunately, no team but the Raiders would do that. Especially this close to the season starting. When you just spent a lot of money on a free agent quarterback. And the signee in question is 38 years old. And has not played a down of competitive football since 2001, when gas was $1.70 per gallon.

If the Raiders are going to do this, I hope they go all the way with him. I want him to fucking start. I want him to have that mustache, that miniature mullet, and I want him throwing the ball for them on Sundays. And he just might have a chance to do that.

I’d bet nearly anything that Randy Moss, at some point, will be calling for Jeff George to start. Say what you want about Jeff George, but I’m positive that he still throws a damn pretty ball. Randy Moss will get in practice with him, he’ll see those tightly-spiraled, perfectly-arched deep balls coming his way, and he’ll say, “This beats the hell out of Aaron Brooks, Andrew Walter, and Marques Tuiasosopo.” That’s going to happen.

There’s no downside to this. Al Davis hasn’t done anything this brilliant since drafting Todd Marinovich.

And here’s Jeff George rubbing in a victory against his former employer, the Atlanta Falcons. Jim Kelly sounds pissed. The best thing about this clip? It took place the last time the NFL was on NBC. Does Jeff George know it ever left?

Something about this feels kinda … off-putting. Five professional soccer players in Europe have had stem cells from their newborn babies frozen, for the potential future use in repairing their own bodies.

So, for example, if Joe Cole (and I’m just using him as an example) rips up his ACL in a few years, we crack open the freezer, find the stem cells right behind the Stouffer’s frozen pizza, shoot it into him, and bam, good as new.

I at least hope he saves a bunch of them … I’d hate for the child to one day develop scoliosis, and have to hear daddy tell him, “Oh, no, I’m sorry. We can’t fix your spine. I know, tough break. But this one time, daddy had a really important game against AC Milan. Yeah … I’m sorry. But hey, we got you a brand new walker, little guy. It even has Spiderman stickers on it! Be brave.”

I’m not really sure why this bugs me. I’m all for stem cell research, and funding, and I think it’s an exciting thing, I do. And I think the people who believe that using stem cells is an abomination against God are absolutely fucking crazy. But, I dunno… using them to repair a center-back’s torn MCL, at least at this early point, seems a little crazy.

Maybe I’d just like us to understand this better, and figure out some of the more pressing applications first. For example, let’s wait until we figure out a way to use these things to cure Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s or some other debilitating disease first, before this just becomes a plaything for rich people.

AOL Sports has gotten into the blogging business. What they’ve done, actually, is bring a bunch of bloggers together under the same roof, and create one big, happy, NFL blog. They’ll eventually have something similar for all sports, I believe, but they’re starting with the NFL. And you can find it at:

http://nfl.aolsportsblog.com/

And they’ve had the poor business sense to make me one such blogger. I can’t use profanity over there, which means you’re likely to see an exponential increase in the potty-mouth over here. I think that’s good news for all of us. Fucking awesome news, in fact.

I’ve been posting there for a little while, as we waited for the thing to go live. But live it is, and I’d encourage you to make it a daily stop. There are some very good NFL bloggers over there. Really. I wouldn’t bullshit you about something like that. Okay, I would, but I’m not.

You can find all of my posts, in one handy location, here.

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