Phil Mushnick of the New York Post feels a deep sense of obligation to the safety of his fellow man. That’s why he wrote a column yesterday in yesterday’s Post calling for the ban of something heinous, vile, dangerous, and life-threatening. Free t-shirts.
I’m actually all for the banishment of the free t-shirt launches into the crowd. But not because I’m concerned about anyone’s safety, but because it offends me as a sports fan. It drives me insane when you see people go to a sporting event and sit on their hands for two hours, and then the second they see a chance for a free t-shirt, they go nuts. Waving, screaming, cheering, begging; saying goodbye to all dignity because they’ve got to get that Nets t-shirt with “Foot Locker” on the back.
And on top of all that, it’s a part of the no-attention-span culture that envolopes so many professional sporting events… the bad music, the cheerleaders + dance team + junior dance team + male dancers, the halftime gymnasts, the game night emcees, the thundersticks, the everything else that’s designed for sports fans who don’t really like sports. Irks me.
So if the pursuit of these t-shirts is a little bit dangerous, if people get out of control over these things… well, I say we chalk this one up to natural selection. Yes, I’d hate to see a kid get caught in the middle of two adult idiots lunging for a $4.99 t-shirt, but if you’re an adult, and you’re making more than a casual effort to grab the t-shirt, then I think you probably deserve to have your balls stepped on. It’s not personal. But I do hope someone stomps on your testicles.
HuangKong Says:
August 7th, 2006 at 1:33 pm
plus, you get mad when they don’t fire one right at you. you’re a grown man, upset that the 17 yr old girl in hot shorts didn’t wield the air cannon strong enough to reach your upper deck seat. Fucked. up.
WBRS Sports Blog Says:
August 7th, 2006 at 1:48 pm
I want a free t-shirt…what is this guy’s deal?
Shobs Says:
August 7th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Just ask Maude Flanders. Ohhh, a bobby pin!!!!
Kn8 Says:
August 7th, 2006 at 6:27 pm
Get rid of all that crap, starting with the damn jumbotron. Hey, I’m on closed circuit tv being seen by 30K+ for 5 seconds. Watch as I make a complete ass of myself! No more dot races or under the cap shit. Can people go 2 minutes without the need for visual/audio stimulation? Oh, right, they weren’t watching the game, they were in line trying to figure out what kind of wine goes with their tofu-dog.
Simplify people. Conversation is not kryptonite.
not Phil Says:
August 7th, 2006 at 7:04 pm
Must have been a slow news day in NY
Babs Says:
August 7th, 2006 at 8:01 pm
I have to agree with mjd 100% on this one - I duck OUT of the way of the lobbed T-shirt. I save my jumpin’ and hollerin’ for the real plays….
Need4Sheed Says:
August 8th, 2006 at 12:58 am
You know I have been saying the exact thing for years. As a season ticket holder every time I am at a game and they start their obnoxious antics I want to punch someone in the face. And it’s not just T-shirts in Detroit.
All of these things happen every game.
Free Dominos Pizza - People run around the stands and hand Pizzas to fans.
Free Jerseys drop from the rafters on parachutes in the same locations every game.
Sling Shot T Shirt Launch
Huge Scratch off Lottery Tickets are handed out.
About a year ago I watched some guy knock a kid down about 8 stairs to get a cheap Tayshaun Prince Youth sized replica jersey that said Wallside Windows on it. The kid had a bloddy lip and walked off crying..
Rhondda Nunes Says:
August 8th, 2006 at 1:37 am
That sucks, need4sheed. Such fans should be banned for life.Or bring them to ‘Fats City’ Stockton; California so we can kick their asses over & over again with pleasure….(not to get too Marques de Sade, but…)
Keystone Says:
August 8th, 2006 at 3:38 pm
I don’t think you’ve ever written a better post. Amen brother!