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The Public Has Demanded More Joe Buck, And They Will Damn Well Get It

FOX Sports had a difficult decision to make. James Brown hosted their previously unwatchable NFL pre-game show, but he left to go host CBS’s almost-as-unwatchable NFL pre-game show. So their options were to hire someone new; perhaps a fresh, new face that could bring something different to the table… or we could get more Joe Buck. We’re getting more Joe Buck.

You may like Joe Buck. There are evidently those who do, as he’s won some Emmys of some kind. Myself, personally, I hate listening to him. He irks the hell out of me. If you want to watch the #1 NFC game of the week, you could end up dealing with about six hours of Joe Buck on Sundays. Even if you like Joe Buck… that’s a hell of a lot of Joe Buck.

Maybe I’m being unfair to Joe Buck here. Who knows, maybe he’ll slide into the host’s chair, be great at it, and I’ll build a great desire to be his close friend. Or maybe he’ll be the same holier-than-thou guy who went Nuts when Randy Moss pretended to pull down his imaginary pants. I don’t know.

But I don’t get why FOX is going to so much trouble, packing up and taking their entire pregame show on the road every week, so Joe Buck can host the studio show, and then go upstairs to the booth to call the game. Why? Was there no one else on the planet who could handle this job? Why so afraid to take a chance on someone new? And if you have to recycle someone, why not hire Pat O’Brien and fire him up with an 8-ball five minutes before he goes on the air?

Anyway, now the FOX pregame roster consists of Jimmy Johnson (fairly useless), Howie Long (somewhat tolerable), Terry Bradshaw (irritating as fuck), and Joe Buck (every bit as irritating as Terry Bradshaw, with the added bonus of being smug as fuck). Can’t wait.

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Matthew J. Darnell

27 Comments

  1. the sad thing is, james brown was really the only person i liked before on the FOX show. and i don’t even know why. now i have to watch AFC games for him?

  2. That is disgusting by Randy Moss. And unfortunate we had that on our air.

  3. Amen on the smug as fuck Joe Buck. I’m a longtime Cardinals fan, and I can tolerate him on TV when I do get to see a local broadcast of Cards games (and I’m not even sure he’s on w/ them anymore since I’m not in the local area). But I cannot stand him in the FOX booths, especially football.

    James Brown was a pretty good host, may make CBS’s pregame watchable, but doubtful with Boomer, Marino, et al on there.

    They should get Frank Caliendo to be Madden as the host.

  4. I’d like to have a beer with his father just so I could tell him that he raised a fine bastard.

  5. Who likes this guy? I don’t know any guy who like him. I can’t imagine ladies like him. He is not cool. He is not funny. He is not particularly insightful. He distracts from the game in a bad way.

    The only thing I like about him is by watching him I can say to myself, “Hey, if someone with the qualities or lack thereof like Joe Buck can make it, I can too!”

  6. Howie Long (somewhat tolerable)

    You can never say nice things about a former Raider. Ever.

  7. I have to admit, I kind of like Joe Buck. He brings a little humor to the game. Plus, his little tirade at Randy Moss was funny, because I got the feeling that he had written that before the game because he was expecting Moss to do something terrible, and then when he did that he figured, “To Hell with it, I don’t want this to go to waste.”

    But don’t listen to me, I like Bob Costas, so apparently I like smug assholes.

  8. Now, did Randy Moss PRETEND to pull down his imaginary pants, or did he ACTUALLY pull down his imaginary pants? I fear we may never know.

  9. “That is a disgusting act… I can’t believe we have that on our air.” says a FOX TV correspondant after watching Joe Buck.

  10. I’ve never seen a single game announced by this guy all the way through. And yet I found this post absolutely hilarious. Propss.

  11. Further, my memory fails to provide me with all of the details, but wasn’t most of Randy’s reason for pulling Pants-gate scandal because, earlier that year on MNF, the University of Wisconsin band came out with something like “Where you at Randy?” on their Tubas?

    He missed the game because of injury and they taunted him or something…never gets brought up…

  12. You’ve brought up a connendrum Big Pic; quick who’s more dull & boring?Joe Buck & his lacquered hair or Ani di Franco?

    If I sounded like Ani, I’d give up my music career….is it me, or does she whine instead of sing?Help me out brothas(in sistahs) from another muthas!

  13. Joe Buck’s tirade was because he is, at heart, a racist – like most white Americans. That’s good news for Fox football. Whether the country has become more racist under Bush or not is not really the issue (though, it probably has), the real issue is that the networks love keeping Whitey comfortable. If that means uncontrollably bashing yet another black athlete in yet another double-standard debacle, then so be it. Ad dollars are ad dollars.

    So what if all the players are black – they’re just $40 million slaves.

    When black fans and athletes start organizing and sticking together, then the Joe Bucks of this world won’t continue to have the opporunity to dance on the backs fo black men whenever they want to get off.

    Ya heard meh?

  14. don’t forget also, the packers fans have a tradition of mooning the visiting team’s bus en masse when they pull out of green bay. randy was just returning the favor, in an imaginary (and apparently utterly disgusting) kind of way.

  15. Hey, was Peter saying I’m a racist because I like Joe Buck and Joe Buck is a racist? I know that’s tenous logic, but no more than what he was using. Joe Buck, douche bag? Yeah, sure, okay. Joe Buck, racist? …

  16. Peter, those are some broad strokes. $40 million dollar slaves? If only I could be such a slave! So let me get this straight, someone spends half their life dedicating themself to a sport they love, overcoming all the competition, to be fortunate enough to play the sport professionally, thereby making more money than virtually everyone in America, and that makes them a slave. I must respectfully disagree. I believe there is a profound difference between NFL players and someone who was taken against their will, traded like an animal, shipped to a new continent to work and live without freedom and without getting paid. In fact, I find your description of NFL players as slaves to be disrespectful to those who actually suffered under slavery.

    Hey, you know who else is a slave? Will Smith! He’s just a $20 million dollar per picture slave to the studios in a world of white agents, lawyers, bankers, accountants, and studio heads.

  17. While I disagree with the $40 million dollar slaves remark, I do agree that Joe Buck is, ahem, not fond of those of us with less than lilly white skin. I watch a ton of NFL football (thank you DirecTV NFL Super Fan!), and Joe Buck rarely, if ever, says anything complimentary about black NFL stars, especially opinionated, outspoken ones. He will kiss Brett Favre’s backside, no matter how many ducks he Favre heaves up for grabs (okay, so will Madden, et al.), but will only refer to the “athleticism” of black players. It’s really appauling. He jumped all over Moss for pretenting to moon Packer fans (obnoxious, at most), yet remained conspicuously silent about the Mark McGuire debacle or how Big Mack’s chemical assistance helped his beloved Cardinals.

  18. Another reason to hate FOX sports. I’d rather saw my testicles off with a rusty spoon than listen to Joe Buck for more than 10 minutes. Somebody please shoot me by the time regular season starts.

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