It’s hard to overstate Tiger Woods’ greatness at the moment. He’s just running through people. I thought today might be the Sunday when he’s got someone or two challenging him. The course was playing pretty easy and there were a lot of guys in contention. But it didn’t happen, because Tiger is Tiger, and no one else is.
I love watching him. I actually find him exciting to watch, and he’s a fucking golfer. Physically, he’s better than anyone else, but the reason I love watching him is his incredible focus. It’s complete tunnel vision, and it is unshakable. I think it’s the most impressive thing going in sports today. I realize that this is highly subjective, but I find it more impressive than LeBron’s ability to control an NBA game, more impressive than David Ortiz’s clutch hitting, more impressive than Kobayashi’s cast iron stomach, more impressive than anything else out there.
I believe that if he was lining up a putt on 18, even if he already had the tournament won, and didn’t need the putt… if he saw Manute Bol having sex with his wife on top of a baby-oil-covered Twister mat, with a jockey riding Manute and slapping him with a whip, while KISS played an impromptu concert right behind them… he wouldn’t blink. He’d see it, he’d notice it, but right then, he wouldn’t give a fuck. What’s important is the putt. Nothing else. The putt is the thing. He’ll make it, sign his scorecard, collect his trophy, do an interview with Peter Kostis, and then he’ll beat Manute Bol’s ass. Or join in.
But anyway, going back to the inability to overstate the man’s greatness… Wilbon puts him in the Ali/Jordan category today. And, you know… it’s not ridiculous. I’m not saying I agree, I’d need some more time to think about it. But it’s not ridiculous.
By the way, why we’re here… Wilbon also takes Sergio Garcia out to the woodshed for giving this reason for Tiger’s domination: “The bad shots he hit all week long, he got away with them.”
Puss. Bag.
You know, it’s amazing that no one else got those breaks. Out of all the players in the field, Tiger must’ve been the only one getting good breaks. Hopefully, Sergio Garcia can someday get those breaks so he can actually, you know, win something. A guy known more for yellow pants than championship golf should probably keep his mouth shut. The only thing he should be thinking is that he just got his ass whooped, and he needs to get better if he wants to win. The fact that that thought even occured to him is evidence that he’s a skirtbag.
Jay Miller Says:
August 21st, 2006 at 2:21 am
KISS is definitely the way to go if you need background music for a group sex session. Especially if midgets or jockeys are involved.
insomniac Says:
August 21st, 2006 at 3:03 am
Tiger could probably handle that scene…just don’t let him hear you using your camera phone!
Rhondda Nunes Says:
August 21st, 2006 at 3:05 am
But Jay(&MJD); if KISS is playing background music, you couldn’t have Gene Simmons’ tongue involved with the jockeys & midgets!
How ’bout a KISS coverband instead so Gene can take one for the team…
lopey Says:
August 21st, 2006 at 9:04 am
I fucking hate ESPN. Talking about how David Ortiz is the most clutch player in the game today…too bad Pujols, Justin Morneau, and even A-Rod have more game winning RBI than Ortiz. Good call ESPN, fuckers.
Bouj Says:
August 21st, 2006 at 11:41 am
If that scene unfolded, Tiger would definitely send his caddy over to kick someone’s ass.
I wonder what the smarmy punditry who had him written off after he got married and his dad died will say now? They kept saying, “Sure, he’ll win one here or there, but he won’t dominate again.” Well, if he had putted just a little better, he’d have won the Masters too (finished 3rd). Maybe Tiger is still a raging badass. Sure, he’ll probably have another mini-slump when Mrs. Tiger pops one out, but he’ll come back from that too.
Mr. Bojangles Says:
August 21st, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Man, it was just a few weeks ago that I was all bilious about all of the scathing, doomsaying news stories of Tiger’s fall from grace following the death of his father, and how he just may never be the same player. Missing the US Open cut, zomg!
Now, it’s the exact opposite, and everywhere I look, journalists have their lips firmly planted on the guy’s ass as he plays better than ever before. Apparently there is no middle ground - all coverage of Tiger Woods apparently must be reactionary and dichotomous. Just seems like most sports journalists are mouth-breathing parasites, only slightly above sports talk radio jockeys in the social evolutionary ladder.
That said, congrats to Tiger, best thing to happen to golf in a long time.
John Prendergast Says:
September 1st, 2006 at 11:53 am
Yeah Tiger is certainly on form - no doubt.
But the question I have is in the context of the forthcoming Ryder Cup is the fact that - Tiger’s Foot Remains Firmly Pressed Against Everyone Else’s Throat a problem for the US “Team”?
Tiger’s dominance of the game is unquestioned but is this a liability in a Team? His own performance in previous Ryder Cup outings leave a lot to be desired…