…because Tiger Woods is quickly proving every other human being alive to be obsolete. He won the Douche-a-Bag Championship yesterday by two strokes over Vijay Singh. And Vijay played well. He was just up against Tiger, which meant that he just didn’t have a chance in hell.
Tiger wasn’t even leading heading into the final round this time. He trailed Vijay by three strokes heading into the day, and he came out and said, “Well, I’m going to come out on Monday, and I’m going to shoot a 29 on the front, and the rest of you can suck me off. How’s that sound to everyone? Good plan? Okay, good. The line forms to the left.”
Five golf tournaments in a row. With all the good golfers in the world right now, and just given the very nature of golf, where it’s hard to play great for any extended period of time… this is incredible. The record, in case you’re wondering, is a staggering 11 straight victories, set by Byron Nelson back in 1945. And Tiger, as awesome as he is, isn’t touching that one. That may be the most untouchable record in sports.
You could argue, though, that Tiger’s 5 is nearly as impressive as Nelson’s 11. It’s impossible to compare eras, but the fields Tiger faces week in, week out, are exponentially deeper than anything that existed in 1945. It’s not even close.
If you’re another golfer on the tour … exactly what are you going to do? You can make a perfectly good living by playing for Tiger’s table scraps, if you want to. But if your self-esteem depends on being the best, then you’re sorta screwed. The PGA Tour right now is full of guys who just have to content by play for second place.
hairofthedawg Says:
September 5th, 2006 at 2:59 am
and what position did you occupy in the line that formed to the left, or did it turn into a pivot-man thing?
Tiger’s good, don’t get me wrong, but it’s much in the same way that Nicklaus was better than his predecessors and Tiger is better than his, technology and the ability to use it.
Wilt’s scoring records are the most untouchable. It should be obvious I’m not talking about those already broken via longevity.
cheers,
Dick
K-Dawg Says:
September 5th, 2006 at 5:00 am
Padraig Harrington, the Irish golfer (and Joey Harrington’s second cousin) just came second, in a playoff, for the BMW International Open on the European Tour. Nothing remarkable about that - until you realise it’s the 29th second place finish of his career. Wow - Mariano Rivera he is not.
Oh, and you’ll get to see him spank Tiger in the Ryder Cup from Ireland in two weeks. :)
tieguy Says:
September 5th, 2006 at 7:32 am
For some more thinking on how far the sport has come, these are the 11 tournaments Byron Nelson won. Check out the prize money (Tiger has won $5.7M in these past five tournaments), the locations (Durham?), and some of the scores (the PGA Championship was match play once upon a time.)
1. March 8-11 — Miami Four Ball (with Jug McSpaden), Miami Springs Golf Course, won 8-6 ($1,500).
2. March 16-21 — Charlotte Open, Myers Park Golf Club, Charlotte, N.C., 272 ($2,000).
3. March 23-26 — Greensboro Open, Starmount Country Club, Greensboro, N.C., 271 ($1,000).
4. March 30-April 1 — Durham Open, Hope Valley Country Club, Durham, N.C., 276 ($1,000).
5. April 5-8 — Atlanta Open, Capital City Course, Atlanta, 263 ($2,000).
6. June 7-10 — Montreal Open, Islemere Golf & Country Club, Montreal, Quebec, 268 ($2,000).
7. June 14-17 — Philadelphia Inquirer Invitational, Llanerch Country Club, Philadelphia, 269 ($3,000).
8. June 29-July 1 — Chicago Victory National Open, Calumet Country Club, Chicago, 275 ($2,000).
9. July 9-15 — PGA Championship, Moraine Country Club, Dayton, Ohio, 4 and 3 ($3,750).
10. July 26-30 — Tam O’Shanter Open, Tam O’Shanter Country Club, Chicago, 269 ($10,000).
11. Aug. 2-4 — Canadian Open, Aug. 2-4, 1945.
weaz Says:
September 5th, 2006 at 9:26 am
Isn’t this just a case of things “averaging out” after the “slump” Tiger was in earlier this year? I think he’s about made up for missing the cut in the US Open, now, so he should be trending back to his average (which is still ridiculous) any time now.
Like K-Dawg mentioned, he’ll probably come down just in time to help the US lose yet another Ryder Cup.
Moonshine Mike Says:
September 5th, 2006 at 10:09 am
let’s not forget The Swedish Wife.
it’s enough to make me hate him. But i await the stolen home porno.
BoSox Siobhan Says:
September 5th, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Let’s be clear here. If this were actually a Douchebag Championship, Vijay woulda won hands down, followed closely (one stroke back) by FIGJAM.