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In 20 Years, Mark Wahlberg Will Be Playing Him In A Movie
September 7th, 2006

You’re a 31-year-old minor league journeyman pitcher. You finally, finally get the call to make an appearance in the bigs. Your wife packs up the kids and makes the drive from Rochester to Philadelphia. You’ve got family and friends playing in from San Diego to see you pitch.

Then it rains, and the game is postponed. The team doesn’t need you anymore, and your ass is headed back to Scranton. Sorry, fella. Give my regards to Dwight Schrute.

That’s exactly what happened to Brian Mazone, and I’m not sure if that would hurt more or less than the foul tip that destroyed Michael Barrett’s nutsac. It just seems cruel as fuck. I at least hope he got to meet Ryan Howard, or have a nice shrimp cocktail in the team’s clubhouse or something. Perhaps some souvenir wristbands, or a big foam finger. At the very least, a warm and gentle handjob from the Phillie Phanatic.

And it’s not that I’m blaming anyone. The Phillies have to do what they have to do; they’re in the middle of a wildcard chase. They owe it to their players and fans to field the best possible team, regardless of whether or not it stomps on the heart of a guy who’s worked his whole life to get there. And Mazone understands that.

“It hurts. Obviously, it’s disappointing,” Mazone said. “But from where I came from to be in this position, getting sent back is one of the easiest things to overcome.”

Well, I hope so. Good luck, pal.



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8 Responses to “In 20 Years, Mark Wahlberg Will Be Playing Him In A Movie”

  1. WBRS Sports Blog Says:

    Wow that seems really unfortunate.




  2. Fornelli Says:

    Wow that’s gotta suck, but still, it’s nowhere near as painful as Bleeding Balls Barrett.




  3. twoeightnine Says:

    I make the drive from Rochester to Philly about 16 times a year, I guarantee that was more painful than anything else.




  4. The Big Picture Says:

    you got it all wrong, MJD. You know it’ll be Dennis Quaid and the warm and gentle handjob woulda been from Charlie Manuel.




  5. SMinDC Says:

    They already made thsi movie…

    There’s a scene in the final installment of the seminal Major League triology where Dr. Sam Beckett, er Paul Blake, er, Jonathan Archer, er Scott Bakula is talking to a guy who was a career minor leaguer talking about the time he was almost called up… there was a freak snowstorm in Boston, couldn’t land. Once the weather was better “so was the player.” So the guy says he “circled the show.” Laughs for everyone.




  6. chris Says:

    Go take some more roids Mazone




  7. Unsilent Majority Says:

    no moonlight graham reference?




  8. RyanBeingManny Says:

    yeah, why cant he get his dad to get him into a game in baltimore? this is Leo’s son, by the way.




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