Archive for September 20th, 2006

An Irish newspaper printed topless photos of some woman who they incorrectly said was Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren. Obviously, American newspapers still have a lot to learn from their European counterparts. I would like to see the Pittsburgh Tribune Review to publish photographs on Saturday of Carson Palmer in some hot cornholing action.

But the Irish newspaper didn’t just stop with the fake photos. Nearly all the wives of the American golfers were called whores.

According to Britain’s Daily Mail, the photograph causing the stir has a topless woman that is not really Elin Nordegren, with the caption “Ryder Cup filth for Ireland.”

The article continues: “Most American golfers are married to women who cannot keep their clothes on in public. Is it too much to ask that they leave them at home for the Ryder Cup?

“Consider the evidence – Tiger Woods’s wife Elin Nordegren – pictured left – can be found in a variety of sweaty poses on porn sites across the web…”

The Irish publication also goes on to claim that Chad Campbell’s wife Amy is a ” largechested singer” and suggests that Jim Furyk’s wife Tabitha ” married geeky Jim as his winnings hit £10 million”.

The piece also says Sonya Toms, wife of David, finds it “liberating” to wear her bikini around the house.

The American team is said to be spectacularly pissed off, Tiger in particular. This is going to affect my Ryder Cup prediction… history has proven that the Europeans are better at this Ryder Cup thing than we are, but history has also proven that it’s a bad idea to piss Tiger Woods off right before he has to play. European captain Ian Woosnam has probably already decided who’s going to go up against Tiger Woods on Thursday morning, and that guy probably opened up that Irish newspaper, saw the story and said, “Oh, fuck.”

The Airing of Grievances links to a different newspaper story with an interest comment or two below it.

And in other Ryder Cup news, our team is already prancing around Europe, looking like complete pussies. At least if we do lose, we’ll be properly attired to get get Colin Montgomerie a cup of tea to help him celebrate.

I feel terrible for this poor bastard. Gordon Riese, the instant replay official who missed the call at the end of the Oregon/Oklahoma game, is not doing well. He can’t eat, he can’t sleep, his blood pressure is through the roof, and some jackass Oklahoma fans are threatening his life, as well as his wife and children. He doesn’t know if he wants to return this season, or ever.

“I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, my blood pressure is skyrocketing,” Riese said, looking haggard and worn as he sat on the front porch of his house.

“They not only threatened me, they threatened my wife and kids,” Riese said.

“I don’t know how to deal with it,” he said. “I guess it’s just one of those things.”

That is entirely sickening, and clearly, the people responsible for the threats are mentally imbalanced and belong in a federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison.

I don’t know what else to say, except I feel terrible for the guy. He made a mistake. A mistake, even, that wasn’t entirely his fault. For some reason, he only had one replay angle of it, and it wasn’t the replay that everyone saw on TV. He didn’t have a lot of time to review it, he couldn’t freeze the frame, and was being pressured by television and the official on the field to make a call.

Making things worse was OU’s president acting like a total jackass, asking that the loss be overturned and all of the officials suspended for the year. Why would the president of the university even care? He doesn’t have other things to worry about, like, oh, I dunno… academics? Or making sure Rhett Bomar is comfortable financially? Act like a university president, dickhead, and not a scorned fan.

Just a sad and ugly situation.

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