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A Round Of Applause For This Crazy Son Of A Bitch

“Short track racing has plenty of wrecks and plenty of fights, and somehow this one has just gotten national.”
– Michael Simko, race car driver with a serious temper

Somehow? You think it might be because you took a running start and dove feet first through another dude’s windshield? Think that might have something to do with it?

I’m sure you’ve seen this by now, but I thought this gentleman deserved a special mention. When you’re willing to jump over the hood of someone’s car, and stomp your feet through his windshield, all in one motion… you’ve earned my respect. I don’t know who who was right or wrong in their fight, but I’m on the side of the guy who’s jumping through a motherfucker’s windshield. That is a man who firmly believes in the statement he’s making.

I can’t see myself being that pissed off at someone. Hell, I can’t see myself being that creative. Who thinks to put your feet through a goddamn windshield? It may have been pointless, it may have served absolutely no purpose in this guy’s stated intention of beating the hell out of the other guy… but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t inspired. That is thinking outside the box at its finest.

And the fall afterwards looks pretty brutal. His tailbone took a pounding right there, on asphalt. That had to hurt like a bastard. And he just stood right up and kept at it. That’s an angry man.

I think if I was the guy sitting in the other car, and someone tried to do that to me… I’d just have to get out of the car and let him punch me in the face. If he’s willing to do that, I probably deserve to get socked in the grill. And he certainly has earned the right to hit me. Kudos, Michael Simko.

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Matthew J. Darnell

9 Comments

  1. I love how Keith deadpans:

    “Them cats was fast as lightning.”

    Not sure if it was a punchline delivered poorly, actually hilarious because of the delivery, or it really has just been THAT long since he was on SportsCenter.

    I’m still debating.

  2. The debate as to whether race car drivers are athletes suffered a huge setback with the guy driving the #20 car. I think he moonlights at my local Domino’s.

  3. Ohhh fuck, there’s some movie where a guy does the “flying kick through the car windshield” thing, but I can’t remember!

  4. He gets extra points because of how stupid he would have looked if it hadn’t worked. Imagine him just bouncing off the windshield, or missing it entirely, and ending up on his arse. I’d have laughed at that.

  5. Michael Simko must have just watched “Good Guys Wear Black” the night before. Featuring Chuck Norris’ greatest non-roundhouse kick ever.

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